Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Why are you trying to come around again..?

Jed texted me. Apparently things with this other girl didn't work out. Big shocker.

He asked me if I wanted to hang out tonight and initially I was very torn between if I wanted to or not. But then I thought, why not? He already made up his mind that he doesn't want any kind of relationship so that shouldn't be a threat to whatever Jared and I have going... if anything at all. He actually didn't talk to me all day so I'm kind of wondering if he's even interested. Jared and I had a really nice time yesterday though so I do not want to potentially ruin those chances by pursuing something with Jed when Jed doesn't even want an actual relationship.

We ended up hanging out, listening to music, whatever.. You know the usual that I would do with any of my friends. Because of the way that he's treated me in the past he is nothing more than a friend to me. Technically Jared is currently in the same boat, though from what I've seen it's leaning more in a direction where we could potentially end up dating if I get to know him more and we end up deciding that. I just don't know, there's still a major chance that things wouldn't work out with Jared either, I barely know him but he has my interest currently so it was weird when Jed suddenly wanted to jump back into my life.

Because I feel kind of betrayed by Jed. I feel like if I were to get back to what we were doing before I would start to get emotionally involved again when that involvement leads nowhere. With Jared he hasn't given any indication that what we're doing now couldn't potentially lead to us dating but Jed's already made it clear to me that he's not looking for anything... So what's he doing trying to come back around again?

I think I made it clear to Jed tonight that if he ever wanted to regain my trust again he would have to work harder than the next person... I cannot afford to get hurt again and if someone wants to be with me they need to put in some effort to show that they're genuinely into me as person or it's no cigar. I'm not going to deal with bullshit any longer.

I studied a bit today, not too much.. I'm starting to get the hang of identifying relevant costs.

Tomorrow I've got accounting. We're gonna be starting on Chapter 15. I should have probably read that this weekend. Maybe I'll make a goal to read that tomorrow before my class, just to get ahead of the ball because I know he's going to lecture on it. I slacked today, just a bit.


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