Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Keeping up this crucial routine. 59.

Desktop background...

I suppose you can say tonight has been productive.

I definately had an awesome day. School went as usual, but I was super stoked to find out that I got a 95% on my accounting test! Yay! But yeah, same as always, sat next to Dylan Nevard, learned a little about other cash accounts. Then there was Visual Basic.. couldn't pay attention hardly at all. I sat in the back today and the professor said that bugs her. haha, something tells me she doesn't *really* care though. I'll start sitting back at my normal seat perminantly on Monday. Well, this quarter's almost over. I'm sure I've been one of the more enjoyable ones to have in class. There were some strange birds in there.

I don't know why Justin Petersen seems mad at me.... He just does. I think I must annoy him or something or maybe I said something really offensive to him and didn't realize it. I don't know, but I'm trying not to bother him anymore. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I see him everywhere and he's just annoyed to see me. Whatever his reason is, I don't like it when people become dicks toward me. I try to be nice towards people.

Japanese today was easy because sensee was sick. We did some kanji, everyone else did their speaking activities.. はなさんはいない、ね。かぜをひくと思います。My God, my Japanese has been getting so good! I need to keep this up somehow. I think I may start up an account on Ameblo and try and write only in Japanese. Even if the blog entries are short, it could help me learn.

Tonight I've just been playing guitar, doing a little bit of exercise, smoking weed, picking up around the house and eating cereal. After getting that good accounting score I didn't really feel a need to study, and as for the Japanese vocab that can wait a little (already studied today...) and I'm ahead on Visual Basic projects. Yep things are going good. I just really need to keep up this stamina in accounting because Key isn't making us do a final if we did well on all the tests. I've done well on all of them thus far, so if I jump through one more hoop I should have an A for the quarter.

That reminds me, I'm going to start looking into auditing careers. I'll write more on that later. Seems pretty interesting.

anyway, I'm gonna get going.


Tuesday, February 28, 2012

58. Shouldn't planning to leave be more exciting?

Why does this feel more to me like prison than anything exciting?

I'm afraid that in this application I seem way too stuck up about things, but I answered as truthfully as I could. I want to have fun while I'm up there but at the same time I can't have a super annoying bitch for a roomate that's always having people come in and out. I applied for a Japanese roomate, too.

I really, really hope I get into Buchanen Towers. Reason being, I absolutely need a kitchenette for my orthorexia. If I don't have one, I'll be pretty miserable having to go to some public kitchen thing and have to wait in line to use a microwave....

Idk this whole thing just sounds like prison, I'm not excited to go at all. I don't know if it's just how much it's going to cost that stresses me out or the fact that I've never even gotten the opportunity to go to the campus. That and I have no "connections" or friends up there, and I'm really paranoid about being on my own. My mom has somehow really taken the air out of this whole thing by being so gung ho about college but in reality I see how fucked up the system is. It's extremely expensive and they're going to expect me to declare my major right after the first quarter. My dad is all pissed off that I want to continue to take accounting courses at cbc until I leave but I need to make sure I'm good at this before jumping into some business major that I may or may not do well in.

I just wish I knew for sure what I wanted to do. I know what I enjoy doing and I know what will make me more money. Money is the number one priority but at the same time I don't want to be miserable in my profession. All I really know is what I don't want to do... Still. I don't like anything science or medical. That eliminates a lot. I don't think I have the mental capacity to memorize all that's required for law, though I love learning about criminals I wouldn't want their lives in my hands. I know I can't major in Japanese, because unless I want to live in Japan the rest of my life that's pretty much unemployable. I don't want to take the easy way out with some psychology degree or something because there's no jobs in that. all that being said, business is my only option, and accounting seems to click well enough. It's just really boring.

BUT better be stuck in a boring job and make good money than have a lame degree that can't get me a job and have hardly any money. That to me is a nightmare. The worst, WORST case scenario is being financially dependent on a man, and this is my only way to make sure that it never happens. This is literally my worst nightmare. I see these pathetic ass women that rely on their husbands financially and because of it stay in abusive relationships. The way that my luck has been with relationships, I want to make sure that I always have the option to divorce and still take care of my kids and give them everything they need. hell, that is if I even get married someday.

Yeah, I'm in a bad mood and feel like crying for some reason. I always feel super sick and overwhelmed when I think about leaving it doesn't excite me much at all. For awhile there I was EXTREMELY ready to get out of the tri cities, and I'm not saying I'm not... but the idea of moving to some cold ass place that i've never been before scares me. I'm afraid of losing the familiarity and comfort of my friends and my routines. I'm also very afraid of not having my parents to come rescue me when my car finally blows up and I'm stuck by the side of a highway somewhere. I'm afraid of paying bills and being broke all the time. I'm afraid my job won't transfer. I'm afraid my professors will be extremely hard and I won't do nearly as well as I'm doing here.

There's just a lot on my mind and on my plate right now.... I'm gonna smoke some good herb and play guitar.


Monday, February 27, 2012

57. Handling cold turkey just fine, and staying home to save money.

Maybe Bronkaid doesn't do as much for me as I thought.

Though today I was a bit lathargic, I didn't feel nearly as warn out as I thought I would. Maybe I'm not going to get the withdrawels I expected. I did wake up feeling really dizzy from a nap today, though. Yeah... I took a nap, that's a first for a long time. I think that was more due to a little bit of loneliness and knowing I wasn't really going to do anything tonight.

But that was one of my goals for today-- don't drive anywhere extra. It costs so much money to drive into town now. I hate that the gas prices keep creeping up, but at least I have a job and I'm getting good hours. I've got a lot to be thankful for.

Today overall was pretty good, I did well on my accounting quiz, got MAJOR props from Sensee today in Japanese about how well me and Hannah do with speaking, and drove Hannah back to her car after it broke down this morning. Yep, always good to help people once when I can. She really seemed to appreciate it too, she was practically freaking out when she showed up this morning telling me she almost got in a car crash this morning because of the random ice on the roads in just Pasco.

It was trippy, I was driving to school and it was totally dry and not even that cold out in Benton City and Richland, but the second I hit pasco it was just like ICE. Everywhere.

I've got some goals to get to tonight. One of which is to study for my accounting quiz tomorrow, and also get an envelope ready with some money that I'm sending this girl that is lonnng overdue. I'm doing okay, things are gonna be alright without Bronkaid.


Sunday, February 26, 2012

56. My admitted addiction.

I don't know what I'm going to do. Bronkaid, my personal anti-depressent and study drug that helps me focus for hours on end (thus, the only real reason I get such good  grades) is out of stock everywhere. Apparently people are catching onto this, probably because of it's appetite surpressent properties. This stuff has been my super drug, it's completely allieviated all of the mental struggles that I was facing before, for months, and now I'm afraid it's gone. I'm scared. Scared that it's gone and scared that I'm going to have to deal with my awful lack of focus because of fucking ADHD, depression, anger problems, insomnia, amongst other things. . . I'm a very fucked up person.

For the next week I'm probably going to be cold turkey until I can get in with my doctor, and it's going to be a huge struggle. I'm going to have to take a ton of caffiene pills to stay awake in class.

This is so bad... I really want to get on something called Provigil but it's harder to get than crack. I just want to stay awake during the day and not feel constant lathargy because of my mental insomnia. Bronkaid was the solution to everything that I needed and now that I don't have it I realize how dependent I am on it to maintain this crazy lifestyle of studying for hours and hours on end.

Fuck this shit, I hate living with mental disabilities. People that don't have them don't understand what I'm going through at all. Just because I have enough ambition to do work doesn't mean I don't have to fight it on a day to day basis. I have to fight depression, I have to fight being tired all the time, I have to fight myself.

The past couple months I have felt calm, in control, focussed, and well for the most part.... Happy. Content. For the first time in my whole fucking life I've felt content and haven't had any major mental breakdowns. Now the fear and helplessness that I feel right now because I can't get Bronkaid is setting in because I've been hunting for it for days.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

55. Porno, really now?

Wow, February is coming to a close and I've yet to apply for housing because Western hasn't sent me my new student ID.

I am paranoid about this because I'm pretty sure it's set to send to my Mom's email instead of my own.. Though I did get an acceptance e-mail with my student ID number for Spring quarter. Because uhm yeah, thank God I decided not to do that. I also still need to apply for graduation/my AA. That I guess can wait though, considering I'm going to be stuck there for a couple more quarters.

I'm so sick of that fucking school. Well, I say that with love, as I do love my teachers that I've had there, and a lot of the people I've met. However, the routine is starting to fall on my shoulders. Hard. It's making me more and more irritated with little things that I do on a daily basis. Same routine, over and over. And worst of all, I feel like I've been there for too long. But honestly, is anybody watching? Probably no... even if it does feel sort of weird that I'm in my THIRD freakin year at this school because I was a dumbass my senior year and took CWP instead of taking a full credit load.... yadda yadda, I've wrote this so many times.

I just need to step back once again and accept where I am in my life right now and accept that it's okay to still be here, that nobody cares, and that I'm doing the best I can. I guess it's people's judgements that I imagine, which is really silly when I think about it.

I've been playing guitar for about 20 minutes. Giving my hands a little rest. Yesterday I hung out with Samantha and Shawn over at Shawn's house. Well, originally it was just me and Samantha but then we decided we were bored and wanted to go into Richland. Our intentions were to go to the Sunken Treasures but then I decided I really shouldn't be spending $10 on a game right now. I'm so cheap, I know, but now today I'm feeling glad that I didn't because my computer isn't letting me run PS1 games. (*I downloaded the software to do so one bored and lonely night hehe)

Here's a really good song by Bob Marley that I heard recently, to break up all the text.

Anyway, Shawn and his roomies live over in that part of Richland so me and Samantha drove over there. Shawn told us to wait inside for them to get back, because apparently he was in town with Karel, Suki (I have no idea what her real name is), Cody, and Nathan. When we got into Shawn's I grabbed Shawn's guitar and started playing tabs for a little while before they showed up. The reason that I do this is because Shawn's house is always sort of awkward for me because everyone there is really couple-y, and it sort of gives me a distraction while I hang out there so Sam can see Shawn.

I'm not talking down about Shawn's house, actually it's really fun there! Or at least last time it was. This time was semi awkward for a number of reasons.

Nathan is dating Karel, Nikki's older sister. If anyone reading this knows me they know that Nikki and I hated eachother back during my Junior year and I got into a lot of trouble because of it. My anger and competitiveness took over my better judgement but she drove me nuts. Anyway, this was awhile ago, water under the bridge now right? well, I'm assuming Karel probably doesn't know that Nikki and I apologized to eachother last year. And even if she does know, I don't blame her for disliking me. Regardless, I was trying to be very friendly and cordial and said hi when they walked in but everyone but Shawn ignored I was there and recluded back to their room. Shawn and Samantha talked for awhile, I sat on the couch playing really quietly for an hour before I decided to break the ice about this whole "porno" site that Nathan wants to start.

Let me back up. Samantha called me about this about a week ago. She was very upset and almost crying over the fact that Cody and Nathan want to start a porno business and have a website for it, thus making lots of revenue from their porno business. I was at first ENRAGED.... then.... laughing my ass off, because I realized how crazy the idea was. Cody and Nathan going around getting girls to take their clothes off? And be VIDEO taped doing it? Typical guys inspired by the Girls Gone Wild bros? Ohh man, I immediately told Samantha to just calm down and let it "run it's course," so to speak, because it's not going to work out. I'm sorry guys, I just hate porno.

So yesterday when I brought up this porno thing, I realized how gung-ho Nathan is about this. He's really inspired to make this work, and according to Shawn earlier he had a bunch of plans. So I figured, okay maybe I'm not giving enough faith to this and see exactly what their plan is. My ears and my mind was open. This is what I asked and about the answers I got.

Me: So you guys are starting a porno site? What domain are you using?

N: Redtube, (lists of a lot of different sites), etc... We're planning on uploading small clips and then people can get to our site from there.

Fair enough...

Shawn: What a lot of people don't realize is that a porno website is really a business.

Me: Oh yeah, I understand, for sure... But this is going to cost some money, whats you guy's starting capital into this?

N/S: Which meanssss?

Me: How much money are you planning on investing into this?

N: Well I already have a lot of the equipment...

He explained to me his plan with the cameras, and how there are cameras that can angle at 6 different angles at the same time, the videos montage themselves, and stream directly to websites. I sort of lost track of what he was talking about but got the gist.

Me: Okay... But I should probably let you know that that porno industry itself is sort of dead because there's so much free stuff available on the internet. I mean there are people that get off on uploading themselves having sex just so people watch it.... You pretty much have to have a fetish site to get people to come to it.

N: Well we're going to be doing sort of a fetish site. We're going something called Party Porn, where you go to parties and video tape couples that end up having sex. You go to parties and people agree to do this.

Having never heard of party porn, it was an interesting concept though at the same time it sounded a little bland to me. Regardless, I was surprised and a little impressed that there was a concrete plan here. I looked over at Samantha and she had her head down, looking miserable. The reason that I brought up the porno thing in the first place was to show Sam that she had nothing to worry about.

Me: Huh... yeah never heard of it. So are you guys really in on the party scene here?

Errm... there is a party scene somewhere here in the tri cities... I think it's the rave kids, I don't know, I'm definately not in it.

Cody: No, we're not planning on doing this here.

Nathan: We're planning on doing this up at Eastern.

Nathan then explained to me that he would get approval from girls before the party, let them know it's going on, and ask them if they want to participate. He also told me that he intends to have betting on the site using paypal to bet who gets laid on that given night, and whoever wins the bet gets some of the cash or something.

Me: Are you going to pay the girls?


Cody: No... (Cody tries to explain why not on top of why Nathan said why and I didn't catch this..)

Samantha stormed off.
Online gambling is a big deal. The Native Americans have been trying to get online poker legalized for years, and it's predicted to pass this year. I'm not sure if it will or not, but it's a ton of money in their pockets it if does. That being said, online gambling would be pretty hard to achieve.

Interesting concept, but there's some major flaws.

The first is the betting. If you read my little post above, it's obvious that's going to need some major approval if it's legal at all.

Secondly, good luck getting random girls to be in a porno for free, especially if they're sober. AND on top of it, why intelligent college girls? Isn't that going to be a much harder achievement than some dumb bimbos that are in most porno videos?

Oi. I need to stop.
Sorry, needed to rant.


Wednesday, February 22, 2012

54. Maybe it's best to leave it at that. :)


At the moment I'm sitting here waiting for my favorite workout video to load. I'm gonna start cramming for my Japanese exam here at 6', hard to believe it's already time for another test. I feel fortunate though, my accounting teacher postponed a big chapter 5 and 7 exam for Tuesday, so I have a lot more time to get this material learned. I understand subsidiary entries for the most part, but it's the closing entries that I have problems with. That and distinguishing the different types of accounts. Nobody said this would be easy, and I think I'm doing well for the most part.

Above is the pilates video that I've been doing the past couple days. It's a really tough one, but you can really feel your abs burning when you do it. I can't even get through the entire thing yet, unfortunately, but if I keep it up I think I can tone my abs better than they are already. Seriously though, my body looks awesome.

I just heard my mom come in. Haven't talked to her all day. Well, haven't talked to really anyone all day except for the typical people at school and Heather. No texts or anything today, but that's alright I don't mind. I've got too much to do tonight to be worrying about anything social. I've really become outgoing, and I'd much rather be doing something or have plans to do something than not.

Right now I've got no real plans for this weekend, but I hope I can see Heather at some point. I'm anticipating a lot of work next week, but for the most part Week eight has been painless. And VERY quick, I can't believe how time is flying by.

Oh! Tomorrow is payday. I'm probably not going to make very much money because of how much I spent on Radcon and gasoline, lets just hope I didn't blow everything.... Gas prices keep creeping up again. I'll post my account balance to tomorrow to keep on top of it. I really want to be able to save to $5000 but the way it's looking now I can barely get above $1000 without spending at least a quarter of my paychecks on gasoline. : ( I need to stop going out so much.

I was able to play Parabola by Tool all the way through for the first time at regular speed, though it still needs a lot of work. Lateralus sounds very perfected now.


Monday, February 20, 2012

Why blogging is therapeutic.

I really don't like all this site at times because of all the glitches. I wrote up a big long thing about radcon but the site logged me out and the draft didn't save. That being said I really don't feel like writing about it again.....

I really don't like this site because it's associated so much with the Google account. I discovered the other day that this stupid site made me a Google + account automatically when I registered, which I really don't appreciate because I don't want to use that site and it's hideous interface. I am really NOT looking forward to the day that computers no longer have a hard drive and all of your websites are interconnected so that if you upload something EVERYONE you know has easy access to it. Really kills any privacy online.

Yes, I could make this blog private and available to NOBODY but then it wouldn't have the same therapeutic properties. In order for blogging online to work you have to feel like you're expressing yourself to *someone*, even if it's the occasional stranger that stumbles upon your page.

Right now I'm at school. I already took my Visual basic test so I don't have to take it today. I really should get going and study some Japanese before my next class. I just really don't want to make bullshit smalltalk with anyone.


Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Excitement for RadCon 2012! 52.

Okay, I admit it. I really do like cosplaying and conventions. Ha ha, like this was some big secret.

I'm really excited for dressing up like Tifa Lockhart this year for Radcon! It's sort of a closet cosplay because I decided to do this literally three days ago when I realized that the event was coming around the corner and I really didn't have any time to order anything.

This is actually my first time cosplaying at Radcon. The reason that I didn't really last year is because it's so close to home that I didn't want everyone to know how big of a nerd I was. . . But this year, I am all out cosplaying because I really just don't care what anyone around here thinks of me anymore. I've become much happier with myself, and I've accepted that you know what, I am who I am, nothing I do is going to change that. This self confidence has sort of allowed me to relax and have fun and try to enjoy things for the most part.

People on the Radcon page on facebook seem pretty snippy, saying they're not going to go because of how things have changed and how their ex is going to be there. Like literally, half the posts on the events page said "I'm not going to be there because my ex will be there..." How lame. Though I can't say I'm not going to see one of my ex's there though, there's quite a few guys that I've dated, liked or had some kind of encounter with that I'm bound to see one. But I don't let it stop me from going somewhere. o____o Wait.... fuck hypocricy is setting in. I won't go into details. But he won't be there.

Actually, eh, looking back on it the only guy I can think of that would actually be there would be Jay Weaver who I knew for like a few weeks. I saw him today in the hub, actually. He clearly thinks I'm stupid or something so I didn't say hi. But yeah, I'll probably see him there.

I'm going to meet up with Nate Scott and Abby probably. It's gonna be fun, they were a great time to hang with last year. Abby was dressed as Alice in Wonderland. I'm wondering if she's going to dress up this year. I'm planning on meeting them to buy tickets.

Anyway, my costume is coming along great! I first went to Genx, which is right down the road from CBC and found three of the main items on my list right of the bat. White tank top, mini skirt that's not *too* mini so I don't get kicked out, and even the suspenders. All check! I should of looked around harder instead of bolting to my next location. Actually, I should of bought those damn shoes. They had the boots too, but I decided I'd wait so I didn't have to spend as much money. Well, after searching around the whole damn tri cities for a black pair of gloves and those shoes I probably should of just splurged on the boots.

 I went to Goodwill next, and picked up a pair of black socks that will peek out over the boots for .99 cents. I didn't find any boots that were quite right, so I left and met up with Alex for some coffee at starbucks. I paid for myself and didn't really give him a chance to pay for me if he was planning on it, but he didn't offer either so I decided to just pay and not make it awkward. We sat and chit chatted for a bit, not about anything in particular... He's really not feeling well and was kind of zoning out. He looked super cute though because he was wearing his jacket that he wears when he rides his motorcycle. Errg, he's just a mystery to me, like he doesn't come out about anything and I can never tell when he's annoyed or happy or what. Keeps it pretty interesting.

Anyway, after our quick coffee thing I walked around Fred Meyers and saw Robert like 20 times. Our relationship has gotten weirdly awkward, it's funny I can never think of what to say to him anymore. He's gotten so skinny, it blows me away every time I see him. I mean I know he's not on drugs or anything, at least I'd really, really hope not and I'm pretty sure he'd tell me if he was. He just looks really worn out or something, I can't explain it. He's not on drugs, he's just working a lot I'd assume.

I then went back toward home, and decided to face stupid Wal Mart. Didn't find anything particularily great, aside from these gloves for $12 that were definately the right color but they were almost too nice to cut the fingers off. I'm almost considering going back and buying them, because the gloves that I did settle with...

...Are ones that I got at Target for a dollar. Sort of like these ones but more burnt orange. Anyway, these will cost a lot of money to not look like crap so I decided I'm gonna just go back to Wal Mart (more than likely after work tomorrow) and get the $12 ones. Watch, with my karma they'll be gone.

I did end up scoring a pair of long socks that I cut and will be used as the black sleeves under the orange gloves.

I pieced the costume together tonight and it looked super cute! I can't wait for the con, take lots of pictures. : )


Monday, February 13, 2012

50. Damn, don't do this now.

I skipped to fifty days because I have been playing every day but not writing nearly every day, but I feel it somewhat necessary to keep as an incentive to keep playing.

So tomorrow is Valentines day! Am I excited? Yes because the Japanese club event that I'm helping host is going to be happening which means a busy, awkward afternoon! I've actually advertised this quite a bit, so hopefully we'll get a good turn out. I'm a pretty good salesperson too; not afraid to talk to people. Today when we were filling the bags I probably gave the date/time of the event to six people that passed by wondering what we were doing.

Ahh, it's events like these that makes me happy I didn't get chosen to be Japanese club president. Because good lord, Betsy has been running around so much to get this thing together. She's done a good job though, and the event should go pretty smoothly tomorrow. I just hope my 50 cent bag idea was a good one though.

I am, however, NOT excited about the fact that Alex has not talked to me ALL day!! >:( And he hasn't mentioned Valentines day at all... granted we've only been hanging out for a week, so I guess it doesn't matter. I'll just lay low. Maybe he'll just total space it and we'll just blow over it. I'll have a lot of fun tomorrow at the event thing, though, so I don't care.

Today in class I tried natto, fermented soy beans, and it made me almost puke and the whole class thought it was hilarious. I'm gonna upload the video here shortly. It was so disgusting, I couldn't even hold them in. I'm sorry Japanese people, but what the Hell.... So, so, sticky weird!!! Okay, okay... Calm down...
In all honesty you guys, I really did want to try Natto and be respectful about it, and even had Hannah take a video so I could give a valid judgement. I figured it'd just be a little stale tasting or bitter, but no you guys. It was the single weirdest thing I've ever tasted. I can't even describe it.

Sensee is so awesome for bringing it though. Now I know what not to order if I ever go to Japan.

My mom just realized we have a ton of leftover fairytale brownies. I think we should freeze them.


Saturday, February 11, 2012

Things are going super well, so I don't tend to write? 45.

Wow, so much to say. I apologize for my hiatus, things have just been very busy this week with school, friends, etc etc....

I just got done playing guitar. I'm working on perfecting Lateralus.I'm excited to be done with that one because that's something I *thought* I learned a long time ago when in reality I was playing the entire thing wrong, horribly. Well, with the playalong software on songsterr it's pretty hard to get away with playing what you *think* sounds right. Anyway, enough about that. So much to tell you.

I met someone recently. Now, I've sort of hinted about this on my facebook, but I haven't come out and told anyone about it yet because my lack of trust in men. And besides, why is it anyone's business what I'm up to in my love life? But I'll write about it in this blog because it's practically a secret.

His name is Alex, he's 25, he's a geologist and lives in a condo in Richland. To be honest with you, there's not much more I could tell you about him, and we've been hanging out for days. He's not really a talker, and doesn't come out to me about much, yet we have an awesome time when we're together, he tells me all the time how beautiful I am, and he's so CUTE. So for him, I am taking my time... like, I want to get to know him without bugging him too much and prying him to open up about things. It's been going pretty well so far, we've hung out a few times since I met him last saturday.

Last saturday was Jessika's party night, and she wanted me to tag along to be her wingman so-to-speak around this guy that she likes... a lot. I mean, Jessika will "like" a guy and then not care about him at all a week later, but she REALLY likes this one. So I figured, what the hell if I've been sick all week lets party. Jessika ended up inviting this guy Alex that she met at the court club in the sauna. Alex apparently CLEARLY dug her, according to all of the texts she was reading to me. So two guys that are into Jessika, Jessika, and me. Sounds like an interesting night.

It WAS interesting, though it had it's ups and downs. We went to a bonfire at Lost Lake first, after meeting up with Rose and her husband. We walked down there and hardly knew anyone aside from Clayne Cox, Wiley Shelton, and Cameron Benitz... Ohh yeah, me and Cameron got along when we knew eachother SO well! Ha ha, but that's years ago, so I figured what the hell nobody should give me any problems. I got bitched at a lot by people because I had a purse with me, but I would laugh and it would be okay. A lot of people that did know me were surprised as hell that I was even there, but when me and Wiley started talking it was actually pretty interesting to catch up. So I stood around and talked to Wiley, Clayne and a couple other people and took a few swigs off this Pendleton Whiskey deliciousness. (No, seriously, that whiskey tastes good in my opinion)

But man, I am such a lightweight because that stuff hit me really hard. I could barely walk in a straight line and suddenly got nervous that when I did meet Alex if I would come off like a dumbass. This paranoia became apparent when I became really quiet practically the rest of the night.

I immediately thought Alex was cute from the get-go, but it was obvious that he wasn't paying attention to me at all. This ticked me off more than I anticipated, especially when I realized he was attrative. I was not expecting him to be cute at all, so I was a mix of anxious and pissed off. So I just drank and sat around watching Jessika, Nathan, Cameron, and the guy Jessika liked play beer pong.

The night went on with no changes really, Jessika got a lot drunker, and I started to sober up. I don't drink very fast because I hate the calories of beer. That being said, though the hard alcohol hit me pretty hard at the beginning by the time we were wrapping it up at 2 AM I was not even buzzed. I was almost completely sober. Jessika on the other hand was wanting to make out with this guy, so they ended up going off into her room and making noise. Both me AND Alex wanted to bail, so he asked if I wanted to catch a ride back with him and stay at his place. I figured why not, even though he very blatantly said to me earlier that he found Jessika super attractive and he didn't find me that was so much because he doesn't like "shy girls." Wow, uhm, yeah what the Hell? Anyway. . . .

Basically, in the long run me and Alex ended up getting some time alone to talk and get to know eachother and ended up hitting it off pretty well. We've seen eachother a couple times since that night and even if I still feel a little irked by the fact that he wasn't nessasarily attracted to me, I'll try to look past it.

We ended up taking Nathan home that night and he talked all the way back. It was funny because me and Alex just sat there quiet the entire time and he went on and on and on. That sort of made me realize why Alex thought I was shy.... I barely said anything that night because I couldn't get a word in.

Anyway, that was my experience with that. Pretty crazy shit last weekend. This week school has been good. Got one of the highest grades in class on one of my accounting tests, got a 102 on my Japanese test, and got a bunch of projects done in visual basic.

Yeah, I'd say things are going very, very well.

Monday, February 6, 2012

44. Valentines Day presents

Though I have too much to do right now to write, I want to document here the favorite colors of people that I'm making Valentines day friendship bracelets for. I am doing this to force myself to practice making them, and thus maybe getting good enough to someday make some really pretty ones. I love these friendship bracelets and wear them all the time.

People I'm making bracelets for:
1. Taylor Morales. Purple, Green and Teal. Done.
She was the first to respond so I made hers first. It looks pretty cute if I do say so myself! She was also the first to like my status on making them.
2. Aki san. Black and White.
I'm actually happy someone choose those two boring colors, hehe. But I'll make this one look really cool.
3. Cece. Black, green and brown.
I DEFINATELY have a ton of brown and green. Looks like a lot of people chose black in their color scheme.
4. Katharine. Aqua, Black, and Purple.
Katharine is a mermaid, haha.
5. Shavonne. Dark purple, green and silver.
6. Alex Bollinger. Purple, green and black.
I think I actually knew this one.
7. Kaitie Cobb. Green, blue and black.
8. Brenna Akers. Purple, blue and yellow.

There are 12 people that I plan on sending one too. I am going to make it a point to get them done on time! But yeah, I'll post the rest of the names/colors later.


Wednesday, February 1, 2012

43. Hands are shaking.

I played guitar today for three hours. It's been like this for days where I find myself playing for long stretches of time because now that I've gotten a little bit better it's openned up a lot of doors and made it a lot more enjoyable. I've now learned Lonely Day, Hypnotize, Holy Mountains and I'm working on Sad Statue and ADD. I also learned at full speed the solo for Hypnotize, which was something I wanted to play a LONG time ago but never really had the time or skill do so. It still needs work, mainly on the picking, but I've gotten so much better already and it's awesome. : )

So yeah it's 8:00 pm. Today Lindy and I went on a long walk after I got home from school and didn't have much to talk about. Maybe next time we should jog. The weather was actually very nice today, just a slight breeze. Tomorrow is groundhog day which means spring is already on its way! Yippie!

Yesterday I had a Japanese exam, which I have yet to get the results for. I did however get the results for my accounting quiz. 10/10 yippie! But Key hasn't let me give him my homework. Tonight I'm planning on getting the rest of those chapter 3 assignments done and I'm pretty much just gonna leave it on the podium and bail. He's gotta accept it, I'm irritated that I've carried those homework assignments with me for a week now.

Anyway, it's almos 8:30. I'm gonna do homework until 11' and get some shut eye. Me and Heather are gonna hang out on Friday! ..Hopefully. That'd be awesome.

Still no word from Katelynn, and it's wednesday again. Maybe she's just wanting to take a hiatus for awhile. Who knows. : /