Thursday, July 28, 2011

What a boring ass day.

Today has been boring as Hell.

I got up at about 10 AM, got ready to go meet up with Shawn and some of his friends at Howard amon, and waited patiently for my mom to get home from the hospital. Well, as time passed it got closer and closer to 12' and I realized that I was trapped because I didn't have a phone, nor did I have my car. Katelynn was going to meet up with me at some point today, and then we were going to go to this park meet up thing, but that didn't happen because I had no way to get ahold of anyone. Katelynn was over at Zach's all day getting her hair done, anyway, so I wouldn't be able to get together with her up until this point anyway. She's on her way here right now.

I got a new phone today. It's an Android, and it makes me mad because I can't figure out how to use it very well. I mean, I can tell why people get so hooked on these things. It has apps, internet, everything. It'll definately come in handy-- more so than my other phone. Unfortunately though this new phone is very complex and hard to figure out. But it does have a nice calorie tracker on there that i'm going to use. Haven't gotten a call back from Nuveou yet, and I really hope I do...

I keep on having nightmares. Like every night, my brain is clouded by these awful thoughts in my sleep. Like last night, I had this dream I drove out into the middle of nowhere and there was a blizzard all around me. I had no idea where I was and I was scared, and I was talking to my mom who told me that she needed to know where I was to come help me. I then realize I was at the Conoco in Benton City (it's a dream, I know it's weird), and go inside. All of the people in there suddenly turned and gave me a death glare-- sort of like the movie Inception when the girl from Juno is in Leonardo Dicaprio's dream and everyone is staring (lol)? That's how I felt. I remember running, and them chasing after me to come get me to... Idk, kill me or something, because when they found me I woke up.

Another very scary dream of being in danger and feeling very unwelcome in a situation happened this morning as well, and I remember it freaking me out to the point that I didn't want to go back to sleep. Because so many times i'll wake up, go to the bathroom, and it seems like the second I shut my eyes again i'm back in this creepy dream.

So overall today hasn't been a great day. I failed a math quiz, on top of it. It's only worth like 5 points, and even if I just got 2/5 it'll still drop the quiz that I missed. I hate math quizzes, they make me scared because you can see the timer ticking. Even if it's a sufficient amount of time, it makes me anxious and makes me go way, way slower.

I'm pretty lonely, to be honest with you guys. I hate that feeling. I haven't been able to see my friends as much as I'd like too because I have nothing to offer because i'm broke. It's a pain to be with a broke person... And it seems like everyone has been busy 24/7. I wish I was that busy, though I probably will be if I do get a job here soon plus the job in Burbank. Regardless, when I'm completely lonely it makes me not motivated.

Right now, I'm getting that yucky anxious feeling like I want to do exercise.... I think I'm gonna do 50 sit ups.

Yours,
Emily

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