Wednesday, October 3, 2012

What implications can you draw from staring....

Nope. I made it a point today not to feel hopeless about my classes and try not to get too frustrated if I don't fully understand the material. That's why I'm at school, to learn, make mistakes, etc. I just try to be really ahead of my game all the time, study extremely hard and try to get the best grades possible so it disappoints me when I don't quickly absorb the material.

I didn't study last Wednesday but I feel I should today. There's some important dates that I need to clarify. I will also write it on my sticky note and start setting goals accordingly. I didn't have my planner with me in class today so I had to write some important date/times on slips of paper in my binder. Never a good plan. You might think all of this is excessive. It's just necessary when you have to remember so many things in three relatively difficult classes. This is certainly the most difficult quarter I've ever taken, much harder than anything I encountered at CBC.

Important Dates:

Pre-Calc Test 1, Friday Oct. 5 

Accounting Test 1, Ch. 1, 2, 3, 5 (I'll figure out later chapters later) Oct 15. 10:00-12:40

Legal Exam 1, 10/24, covering ALL of chapters 1-10. T_T

All of these tests are going to be a huge challenge, and will require hours and hours of study. I've got to stay focused and oriented, and cannot lose faith when I don't understand something in class. It's so hard to get on top of things but it's the greatest satisfaction to me to actually get the material when I need to.

I cannot put my accounting homework off like I did today. I actually didn't get the assignment done and Burnadette and I could collaborate so our whole group wasn't able to work together. Natasha and I were sort of fumbling through 3-26 today because neither of us could figure out how to calculate certain costs. I am going to re-read that chapter tonight and try to figure out what I was unable to do today.

So yeah, a little stressed is an understatement.

I don't want you guys to think I'm miserable here or anything, actually I'm starting to get a lot more comfortable and I'm having more fun in my routines than ever before. I feel like in college I can really take all that goal setting and time management stuff that I learned from Jacob and PillaiCenter and apply it to my everyday life. I'm in complete control of how I spend my time here, and since it's up to me I'm going to spend my time as productively as I can. Because for me, going out and finding other things to do would be a waste of time.

Really the only thing that could pull me away from my routines, I've found, is some sort of love interest. Because of course I schedule friends into my time, no problem, just whenever she has time.. But when you're talking to someone in *that* manner their life sort of becomes your life and visa-versa, you become more intertwined in each other's whereabouts and are unable to have your own experience. That's why I felt so relieved a couple days ago after parting with Jason.

 Literally the sadness I felt was momentarily. I was shocked and sad to read the words, but the sadness dissolved so quickly. I thought I at least had minor feelings but I guess not. Maybe I just really liked his company. I will always have respect towards Jason and he came at the right time. I was feeling pretty lonely this summer, and he was SO good about texting me on a regular basis, our skype conversations could get pretty funny too. We didn't really click personality wise but it was fun to like eachother when I was lonely and sort of needed that gratification.

I've decided I will only post a status on facebook once every two days instead of one, now. Facebook can irritate me because I'm always feeling compelled to write some clever observation of something in my life from a day to day basis. I think that'll be better left to once every two days. Facebook is overrated and getting boring, anyway.

There's some football players outside yelling nonsense. They seem like the audience Red Baron was trying to reach when they designed what I just had for dinner, "Feasts for One".

Freezer pizza is a nutrition nightmare-- you've got trans fats, cholesterol, incredible amount of sodium and preservatives, the works... But damn, these things are actually pretty delicious. I originally bought one at Bargain Market on my first shopping trip. They had like 40 of them for $1.99 on a shelf so I figured why the Hell not, get some douchebag pizza. It was so good I bought it a second time when my parents took me to Safeway to stock up.

My phone's off. That sucks. But everything's good.

Oh, interesting little tidbits that could be absolutely nothing. There's a girl in my accounting class that a couple days ago I made solid eye contact with while standing in line to turn in an assignment (Monday). I looked away, then looked back and caught her staring at me a second time. I sort of grinned, she grinned slightly and it was my turn in line so I turned away.

 This girl sits behind me. At the end of class when Holtfelter took role a second time she said, "Last in line?" to me when I was standing there. I'm pretty sure her name had already been called. I said, "Ha, yup!" and sort of walked off. I don't know if she was trying to initiate conversation there. Today I ran a little experiment. When we turned in our assignments I walked to the same far side of the room that I did on Monday just to see if she'd do it again. I totally saw her staring at me, again.

I don't know what to make of this. She's really pretty, she's really tan, and has almost black hair. I haven't really made actual eye contact with her but I think we briefly talked on the first day. Again, could be nothing. Just random.

Another staring war happened today when I was walking back from law class. I recognized this really attractive Phillipeno guy that was a friend of Patrick's that I'd met last week. I met up with Patrick twice at his car, once when we hung out at his place and the second time that he brought me a birthday present (Very sweet of him, he got me headphones..). Both times I saw this guy but I don't know what his name is. Anyway, walking home from class today, I saw him sitting with another guy outside of Wendell (the building that's right across the street from mine). As I approached he definitely was looking at me. I was definitely looking at him back. He continued to talk to his friend. I averted by gaze but when I looked back we made eye contact a second time and I grinned with my mouth closed, he did the same back. As I walked by I wondered if I should have said something.

Good, those football players have stopped.


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