Date #2... I curse too much

I can honestly say I curse too much, and it gets a lot worse when I'm home because my Dad curses all the time and I pick up on it. My mom told me, "You can control what you say, why are you blaming this on us?" I've admittedly been in a hell of a mood this morning. I've been high strung and driving my Mom nuts like I sometimes do in the morning. I just took a chill pill so now I'm realizing how temperamental I was acting this morning and feel bad.... I'm going to stay in my room the next few hours and not talk to anyone for this reason. Give everyone a break from... me!

Last night Brendan drove alllll the way here. I didn't even meet him in Prosser. We didn't hang out for very long before we went into town to buy some Christmas gifts with money that's sitting in my checking account that I thought was to pay for my classes next quarter but my Mom said I could spend. I'm going to double check with my Dad on this. I hadn't used that debit card in awhile because I was waiting for that $2500 to get out of there. In actuality, that money IS mine... it's just supposed to be for living on my own and the expenses that come with it. Not on just whatever the Hell I want. I do have $400 or so in there that is technically mine from working at Rite Aid.

So that's obviously very good news. I'm going to talk to my Dad about it... When he told me about the money I thoughthe said specifically, "But you CAN'T spend it..." maybe he'd just meant on alcohol, clothes, makeup and other fun stuff.... I should try to buy my books online today. Books are stupid expensive. Last quarter wasn't terrible for me because my pre-calc book AND my accounting book sold back.

Anyway about my date. I lost track of what I was talking about. Brendan and I went to Sushi Ya and bought some of the best Korean BBQ I've had in the Tri cities. Brendan told me, "Emily you're so cultured and classy but you cuss a lot!" He's right, I felt really embarrassed and then my cursing got 10x worse throughout the night. so bad. He doesn't seem to mind it but it makes me feel gross.

I'm thinking of cancelling my Yelp account and re-doing a lot of my reviews. I'm pretty sure my last review didn't give it justice. Brendan and I were on a mission to get my Dad a grey shirt for Christmas to go with something Mom bought him. Technically I bought it so that'll be the present to my Dad, haha. We picked it up at Target where I saw Samantha!

She looked great working there, she told me seasonal is ending soon so a bunch of people are going to be laid off. I'm hoping she's not one of them, again. I'm sure I've mentioned this a couple times on here.

I'm going to play a better amount of guitar today than I have in the last three days. I do plan to go to Mizu sushi later this evening after I pick up Hannah. It's already almost 12' and I'm meeting Hannah at 5' so I better get on practicing.

peace.

Wow, tonight was pretty perfect

I'm so stoked you guys.

I had no idea today was going to be awesome. This morning I woke up thinking I wasn't doing anything really when I'd joked that Brendan should drive her today. I didn't think he was coming until Saturday the 22nd so I didn't think it'd be likely that he'd take up the offer but he's like "okay I have to get my tail light fixed but I'll see what I can do..: )" or something like that. It was like schweeet, this is actually happening today.

I told him we'd meet in Prosser in our original plans, so I asked him to meet me at the McDonalds at 3:30. He'd originally suggested we see the movie IN prosser but I was like "Naah, I think I'll just pick you up..." like no, we can go back to Benton City than go to Kennewick or wherever.

He apparently didn't fully get the plan so when I was waiting for him in Prosser at 3:30 he was MIA. He called saying he was at the McDonalds but apparently he was at the one in Zillah thinking I was going to pick him up there. A little embarrassed, he ended up driving to Prosser in about 20 minutes. In the meantime I had taco bell in the parking lot. It made me feel really sick. In all honesty I've been eating junk food all day, between the popcorn at the movies to that taco bell burrito that was loaded with nastiness I feel pretty gross. Like if you don't eat fast food for a long time, it's almost unbearable to eat. I scarfed it quickly but when I was finished I felt like I would have gotten more nutritional substance going to the truck stop gas station and getting a chicken sandwich.

Brendan got there pretty quickly, got into my car, and we drove back to my place. I gave him a tour of my town, and he was laughing at all the similarities our my town and Zillah. He said he appreciates that I'm from a small town because he feels like he can't relate to people that aren't. I understand what he means.

Anyway we left here around 6:45 (to buy the ticket for the 7:30 show... once I could get my ass out the door). Brendan actually thought it'd be sold out, but I thought by now it won't be nearly as much of a full house for it. Regal Cinemas is a quiet theater anyway.

We saw the Hobbit, which was of course extremely neat. I love the dwarves, they remind me of prog metal artists. There was one in particular that was really hot named Kili.

Bah, he's beautiful! 

The movie itself was great, really followed the book perfectly from what I remembered. Brendan gave it an "A-", I couldn't find anything about it that could have been particularly better.

Brendan and I agreed that the date was awesome and I'm sad I'm probably not going to see him again until New years eve. Tomorrow I'm going to meet up with Hannah S.! i'm very surprised that she's actually back in the tri cities for Christmas holiday! I mean granted I didn't expect she'd fly to Korea. She's living with basically a host family here in the US but they are friends of her family's and they are also Korean. 

I hope maybe tomorrow Hannah and I could hang out at her place for a little while so I can see it. 

peace. 

Only one thing sets us free...

I'm not good at getting my guitar hours in on Mondays. 

Shoot it's just Monday, for some reason I thought it felt like a Wednesday. I'm just sort of zonked from my classes again, but I am proud of everything I got done today. First of all, I'm really starting to get these Chapter 15 equations on shares, so that's a major bonus to this alone time that I've had. I've been getting so much done these past few days, even if it's felt like a lonely road. Everything happens for a reason, I can't fight or force things.

Let's see, what I got done today--
1. Did my LAST legal assignment (Chapter 19)
2. A lot of flashcard studying for accounting...
3. Did really well on my Chapter 15 assignment after finishing that up this afternoon...

..What I really need to do is math. I just don't get it very well right now, Montgomery is going to help us out tomorrow so I printed out my homework assignments to practice during the class hour tomorrow. I'm really hoping that goes well, I don't want to end badly in that class but I'm having a bit of trouble in our current chapter.


Something else that's interesting-- I talked to Hannah B. for the first time in years. I actually came across her facebook a little earlier but didn't feel quite comfortable adding her when we hadn't talked in so long so I was  pretty stoked when she added me to see what she'd been up too since she left the tri cities. She appears to be doing really well, she looks pretty! I remember back in middle school she was "emo." That feels like such a long time ago now.

It's really nice, I've recently come in contact with a lot of people that I never was particularly friends with back in school.. Like now that we're all out of school none of what happened or how we might have perceived eachother at the time matters when we've all grown up so much and found our own lives... I try to see the good in everyone, though some people I'd rather not communicate with. Sometimes even if I wouldn't want to communicate with someone I just like them on my friends list to occasionally see what they're up too... shh.

I'm excited to go home, I plan to go after I get a good portion of my math done tomorrow. My parents would like me to take care of my doctor's appointments early in the week so we don't have to deal with them that weekend. I'm going to be so relieved to finally get some of this taken care of and see a professional about my panic attacks. It's been about a month since they've started.

peace. 

57. Handling cold turkey just fine, and staying home to save money.

Maybe Bronkaid doesn't do as much for me as I thought.

Though today I was a bit lathargic, I didn't feel nearly as warn out as I thought I would. Maybe I'm not going to get the withdrawels I expected. I did wake up feeling really dizzy from a nap today, though. Yeah... I took a nap, that's a first for a long time. I think that was more due to a little bit of loneliness and knowing I wasn't really going to do anything tonight.

But that was one of my goals for today-- don't drive anywhere extra. It costs so much money to drive into town now. I hate that the gas prices keep creeping up, but at least I have a job and I'm getting good hours. I've got a lot to be thankful for.

Today overall was pretty good, I did well on my accounting quiz, got MAJOR props from Sensee today in Japanese about how well me and Hannah do with speaking, and drove Hannah back to her car after it broke down this morning. Yep, always good to help people once when I can. She really seemed to appreciate it too, she was practically freaking out when she showed up this morning telling me she almost got in a car crash this morning because of the random ice on the roads in just Pasco.

It was trippy, I was driving to school and it was totally dry and not even that cold out in Benton City and Richland, but the second I hit pasco it was just like ICE. Everywhere.

I've got some goals to get to tonight. One of which is to study for my accounting quiz tomorrow, and also get an envelope ready with some money that I'm sending this girl that is lonnng overdue. I'm doing okay, things are gonna be alright without Bronkaid.

peace.

I've got time, things will work out fine....

That was part of my status today on facebook, because lately I've felt like time wise everything has been going pretty good. I haven't felt too rushed in school or anything, and I've had time to study and keep caught up. It's from the song "Time Was" by Canned Heat. Weird song hardly anyone has ever heard, haha.

So, note to self, wednesday is NOT when I get paid. Actually I get paid on Thursday, or Wednesday at 12 am. I ended up spending $150 in the past two weeks (I paid for my own car payment, another $50), almost all of it going to gasoline, the rest of it going to food. I can't be spending this much anymore. It really is time to make a change. I think I either need to just stop buying food all together or... well, that's really the only thing I can cut. I have to really start saving for Christmas. So I should get a half decent amount of money for my paycheck, and my account balance will go from $409 (what it's at now) to somewhere... better. Idk yet, can't say, hopefully above $500.

Still no word from such-n-such, I'm pretty sure he's playing Skyrim pretty much 24/7. Another one bites the dust. I do the three day rule. If someone doesn't make any sort of effort to contact you in three days, they're not interested.

Moon rainbow.

YEA!!

I feel pretty happy today. Maybe because I'm not stressed out about too much, but I know that I gotta go soon because I need to start on my math. I'm not hungry, and I have this weird microwave lunch thing that I got out of the freezer outside. It's this Lean Marie Calender thing that looks... disgusting. Any time they try to take a fatty food (steak and potatos) and make it 160 calories, you're bound to have problems. I'm just going to wait on that... plus it's been in the outside freezer for ages. It was between that and a pot pie. I think I made the healthier, yet nastier choice.

Reasons that I'm feeling happy:

-I'm excited to get paid.

-I fit into a pair of jeans this morning that normally don't fit, even if I'm technically "bloated" because of-- yeah.

-I love my friends, hung out with Hannah for a bit today and saw Katelynn recently.

-I'm chewing peach gum.

yours,

Emily