Saturday, January 7, 2012

28. I swear to God I'm bipolar.

So, lately I've really been thinking that I'm bipolar and my depression swings have to do with being manic and extremely low. Because lately, I've been feeling happy and then for no reason at all I'll feel depressed, scared and down. Full of anxiety. Playing the guitar has helped a lot because it makes me feel better about myself because I've been improving a lot, but when I'm in a super bad mood it makes it more difficult to play.

I have so many problems that I have to face on a daily basis: Depression, bipolar, orthorexic, OCD, and anxiety. All of those. All FIVE of them, swarming through my head like angry bees. People don't understand, especially my family even if they've had to deal with me for my entire life. Luckily though, soon I'll be out of their hair and they won't have to deal with me anymore. I'm so tired of feeling like a burden to everyone when I get like this.

I'm going to try and get myself in a better mood. I'm gonna have a get together tonight at my house, hopefully, have a few people over to watch Starwars and get blazed. Sounds like a very good saturday to me. I do need to study each of my subjects and clean up, too. I've just gotta do something or I'm gonna get super depressed. Errg.


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