Thursday, April 4, 2013

made my spine tingle.

 It's been one of those days that the anticipation for something else has made me lazy. Right now I'm waiting for some water to boil, I'm going to make a great cup of tea and study statistics and economics tonight. Sometime this weekend I have to read that Speech book, seriously even if that class is the biggest challenge for me to pay attention to, I need to at least try. I'm sure that book can give me some really good tips on professional speaking...

I've really been trying to get the most out of that speech class. I know that it's going to help me out a lot in the real world because going into business you continually have to communicate with people. The lectures in that class are just awful though because I found that by this point in the day my mind is completely wrapped up in what I'd listened to or experienced earlier and it's hard for me to focus on something that seems less relevant to me because it's from the Comm major.

I should really be happy that I'm getting that opportunity to experience that class that's out of my major though. I'm having a feeling I'm going to meet a lot of interesting people in that class if I could just stop judging people. I know I mentioned the crazy fake tans in that class earlier. I have to try very hard not to do that because it only hinder's people's progress.

And there's nothing wrong with being tan. I mean look at this photo, if I were to get spray tanned on a regular basis that would be about the skin change difference. But it's expensive, lasts a short amount of time, and streaks everywhere... At least on me. 

I think I just associate it with bad times. Like in middle school where my Mom would try to help me present myself decently but I would end up with ridiculous looking streaky half-orange arms from tanning lotion. My Mom and sister have always been able to put that stuff on flawlessly but with my skin it just doesn't sit well. People have actually told me that my tattoo is fading and I need to get it touched up. 

....That makes my spine tingle, I'd like to go do that to feel the needle again.

Is that weird? I just really liked the adrenaline rush from getting a tattoo. I associate it with new beginnings, yet now my tattoo also holds the scar of a lost friendship.

Clint told me he's started talking to Katelynn again, so she's opening back up to people (Alan's friends). Except for me, clearly. That's her choice and I respect her for it, if she wants me out of her life I'm not going to bother her. I was just very worried about her so I was happy to hear that she's talking to Clint again because I want her to have friends. When she deleted me from her facebook she also deleted almost all of her other friends too (Al's friends) but I'd like to think that she's going to be friends with them again and everything will be normal in her life again. I mean minus me. 

I want her to be content. We have so much history together I will always care about her and it scared the shit out of me when she deleted everyone. 


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