Tuesday, September 13, 2011

My thesis of the past.

I need to write down my thoughts, there's so much going on in my head right now.

It's still September 13th, still. Seems like it has been forever. I feel like my days are going by extremely, painstakingly slow lately. But like I said, a day is a gift. I need to learn to enjoy my life for what it is instead of what it someday might be.Because unless I enjoy my life now, I will never know when that POINT is that I am completely content by my life and how I'm living it. "Highschool will be better..." then thinking "Well it'll be different at CBC.." and now saying, "Well it will be better and I'll be happier when I'm at a university." Granted yes, in these stages of my life have gotten progressively better as time goes on. Have I ever been consistantly stable and happy with it? No. But I need to make this realization NOW before I continue on this cycle that probably isn't letting me enjoy for what it is NOW. The present.

Because the past doesn't exist. It's not matter, it's only something that lives on in our minds. The past itself is nothing more than a shared thought of certain situations and numerous perspectives of moments. Which means that if nobody remembers it, and there is no proof such as a photograph or a video, it's as if the past never existed. A person itself is the same way. Once you die, and everybody that knows you dies, it will be as if you had never existed without some photograph or proof. Famous people live on, for eternity, in the memories of people. But most people, we die and are forgotten in time, some of us longer than others. This is a scary thought to think but this is where our PURPOSE comes in. If God has a purpose for us, we all have a part to play. Our PURPOSE is what makes us individuals here on earth, not by the memories we've created individually. But we as a generation is what people will remember us by for hundreds of years to come.

Wow. That was some good pot. I feel like this is something that has been nestled in me and scaring me for a long time. I wish I never would of thought of it but I feel a weird sense of relaxation finally letting this out.

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