Wow, I'm having a horrible fucking day.
It's been shitty since the time I woke up and continues to be shitty. It's another one of those days when I look in the mirror and go, "You're ugly, worthless, lazy and I fucking hate you and you should really just go kill yourself."
My computer is broken, which is expected because that picture is a piece of shit and has been breaking since day one. This is bad though because it has all of my old college documents, as well as my music on it. It also had my giagantic completely custom made sims town that never got uploaded anywhere so that entire work of art that I've put hundreds of hours into is gone. I won't be able to charge my Zune without completely clearing the software, and don't have CDs for most of it.
I brought up the computer being broken to my mom, and she said that she has seen NO EFFORT in going out and finding a job. Well, after turning in about 25 applications and not getting a call back, you can't blame me. Ebay is not making any money for me because my dad doesn't know how to transfer money to my credit card and wants to get me a stupid paypal card with the money I make... I don't WANT a paypal card. Nothing I ever buy takes paypal. I buy gasoline, and nessesities, and occasionally coffee. Period. Haven't bought any clothes in months because I'm frugal and know that I won't have a job for a long time.
So I have to submit more applications... And probably not get any calls back again. It's all luck. I have no luck, at all. I have no confidence and social anxiety so picking up the phone and actually calling a hiring manager is about as hard as swallowing wet dog food. My mom doesn't understand how hard this is for me, at all.
I'm going to go run after I finish this entry. I'm not going to eat anything else tonight. I don't deserve to eat.