Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Busyness is my savior.

I feel as happy as this little girl because of the bloody bread.  

My depression has almost completely ceased due to the feeling of overwhelming busyness that has already erupted now that school has started. Also, WellButrin is doing wonders. Not only have I had decreased appetite, but I've also been more energized and even happier. I think my doctor made a very good choice. I feel like I'm not procrastinating any more, I have Hannah in Japanese to pal around with, me and Katelynn are getting together, and my ebay listings are going to get bids soon because the auctions are ending soon and they have a bunch of watchers. Hopefully, my first wave of items are going to be a success. Once the listings end, I will list more. I think if they all end at the same time I can mail them all out and get them all packaged with one swoop instead of doing packaging every day as auctions end.

YAY! One of my auctions is up to $78 and it still has like 5 days left!  I'm gonna start selling these tonka trucks more often, my dad has a shit ton of them down in his basement.

Really, there is one thing that would make things better, but at this point I can tell it's not going anywhere. No communication what so ever suddenly, and I feel like he doesn't want to talk to me anymore..  Oh well, someday that void in my life will be filled, but probably not any time soon and I just need to accept that. I don't need to go looking for it if it's just going to lead me to random dead ends.

My dad really needs to learn how to communicate with me... I tried to talk to him about my financial situation as an adult, as my debit card is now connected with a credit line that charges my dad when I use it. Unfortunately, he has to turn it into a screaming match, telling me "Not to use that card as a habit". Well, I need about $30 a week for school, which is climbing with gas prices. I pack a lunch every day. I drive 65 mph to increase mileage. I do everything I can to save money... Haven't bought makeup for myself in months. He doesn't seem to understand that though, and I can definately understand why my mom doesn't talk to him now. He wants to be talked to like an adult but instead it always turns into yelling.. yelling and screaming. I'm so tired of it. My dad is in a terrible situation right now, though he doesn't need to take it out on us.

yours,
Emily

1 comment:

  1. I don't think you should just "accept" it (never just accept anything!! especially what you hear from high schoolers), but I definitely do think you should fill that void with other things, like you seem to be doing with saying busy. I wouldn't write it off, but I wouldn't continuously search either. Last year, after I ended it with Miguel, I had a period of craziness where I went from liking one guy to another so quickly (just because I was single and I could), and they were ALL disappointments, one after another. They either turned me down or just weren't what I was looking for, or they were like the guy you talk about above, showed interest at first, and then just drop off the planet. It wasn't until I stopped trying so hard to look and to find that something actually came up. And do go with the first thing that attracts you! It's probably not the best choice in the long run--I learned that one!
    If you still do feel like doing a bit of looking, look for someone with common interests and a similar intelligence level, to me, these are most important. I don't know about you, but I'm not at my best when I'm dating someone who constantly needs help with homework--I'd rather have someone who needs help with some things, sometimes, and will help me with some things, sometimes, so it's balanced. Also, having similar interests is one of my most looked-for qualities--if you're not into what I'm into, we're not going to have much to talk about for very long. You know it's a mutual feeling of appreciation (or maybe more) when you start to rub off on that person, and they start to rub off on you.

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