Getting organized for my last 3 weeks. Newfriendnewfriend!

Hard to believe this quarter is actually sort of close to being over.

I realize that I have three more weeks of class to go, and I scored C's on a couple of my midterms and quizzes. That's really not acceptable for me so I've decided to write out everything that I'm going to need to do in the next week to get in the process of working hard enough to get A's on my next tests and raise my grades in the classes from high C's to B's.

This guy Jesse in my public finance class told me that I should try to keep my GPA above a 3.3 because that's where a lot of grad schools draw the line. That's really hard, especially when getting B's only makes the tiniest increase in the GPA but getting a C can drop it like nothing. I don't understand how the whole system is weighted.. My parents still don't understand how important it is to me. Like I'll talk to my mom and she'll be like "All you have to do is pass to get your diploma!"

F*ck that's pretty much like telling me to lay down and give up... American parents are so soft, ha ha. I mean I feel there's a ton of room for improvement right now. I have to do better than what I was doing this past 7 weeks from here on out, and where I'm going to start is creating weekly concrete task lists like I did last year...

This is my task list. Each one of the squares represents an hour of time spent working. 

That's the reality of what it's going to take if I really want to get A's on my upcoming exams. It's a really high goal even for me... These classes are so hard and it's going to take so much work and patience these next three weeks. I think these checklists will give me the visual motivation that I need. 

Of course I can't forget about guitar. I've only been squeezing in about a half hour of solid work a day (I know isn't that terrible?) mainly on the metallica solo. I'd like to practice more this upcoming week, at least an hour a day... I know that Jacob can see when I haven't practiced as much as I had wanted too. He's somehow able to read me really easily and it sometimes pisses me off, ha ha I must be really obvious when I'm stressed out.

Today for the most part was actually spent sleeping... I did practice guitar for 45 minutes and study for a couple hours and I'd like to get in more time of each before I go to bed (It's potentially going to be a challenge to sleep tonight after sleeping so much today... I'm probably going to have to drug myself at 2 AM or so just so my sleep schedule doesn't get completely out of whack)

Yesterday I met this really interesting girl named Audrey when I went to the Surc to eat before meeting up with Sipic to discuss my enrollment plans for next quarter (there's a freaking block on my account so I have to go to the library to pay a stupid fee before I can register, bitches...). Anyway she's a freshman here at CWU and makes the trip all the way from Rosalyn to get here. She likes to draw, and originally thought she wanted to be an art major before she took an art class here and said she's bored out of her mind in it. 

She seems awesome, I'm happy to have met her and hope we hang out sometime this week. She likes rock music, too. 

peace. 

Diving headfirst hoping I don't hit concrete

Very interesting second day.

Turns out I also have Managerial Economics with Terry on Tues and Thurs. He seemed surprised for some reason that I was in there.... Lol we're in the same major, this is bound to happen a lot. Anyway this was a pleasant surprise for both of us because we will greatly be able to benefit each other this quarter like we did last, except this time we're actually more comfortable around eachother now that I can move past the awkward guessing game and treat him as a friend.

I just enjoy how he challenges my intellect. Today he told me he has a roommate from Montana. I would later state that "Montana is the least densely populated state in the United States." Terry replied after thinking for 2 seconds, "No, you're wrong, Alaska. Montana's second."

Okay YEAH but if you're talking about inside the continental United States then I'm right.

Terry would later say "Yeah you have to get up earlier than that to beat me." BAH.

My managerial economics professor intimidated me today because he said himself that his class is "very difficult but he didn't want to publish that on his site because nobody would take the class." He talks fast and has a lot to say but his lecture was thoroughly interesting.

My public finance  paper that I have to write is super open ended and I'm planning on doing it on the connection between testing scores and how much money a school is given by the government. The school system like anything else is a business and the teachers always had this motivation to teach us how to get high test scores on the stupid State standardized tests and now I realize it had to do with money. 

Oh my car broke down and it's stuck in a parking lot over by Shaw... hope it doesn't get towed. Parents are coming up first thing tomorrow morning and we're going to get some things taken care of, like my financial aid and the fact that right now I don't have a bike. Walking sucks! ha ha Brooklane is like a mile and a half from where my car broke down today. 

peace. 

Last week of summer. Cat in danger...?

Finally. Officially 7 more days until I move...

Still sucks that I'm stuck moving the DAY BEFORE school starts.... But hey beggers can't be choosers, especially this late in the game and I'm lucky enough to get a 1-bedroom. I'm really excited to be living in Brooklane because even if it's just another apartment on campus it's still a new place. I've been trying to find a floor layout to show you guys but my connection is being retarded.

I worked the past few days, which honestly meant limited practice time aside from getting the chance to complete this video that I've been meaning to do for awhile:

Ha, you can always tell when I'm concentrating really hard because my nostrils flare up. 

I try to avoid this unappealing face on video and at recitals so I try to practice to the point that I don't need to think so hard.

Let's see, I work at 5'.. That'll be a nice short shift. Then I work Thursday from 11-4 pm, then I'm DONEEE! woohoooo! I'll be happy to tell Jake about my accomplishment on the completed video this week, and he'll also be happy that I took the guitar in the shop finally. Not having my electric the past few days has forced me to play with my acoustic which sometimes I find much more enjoyable. 

Today I'm going to work on In Keeping Secrets Silent Earth, primarily for MEMORIZATION. Jake's been hammering that into my head every lesson since the last recital and this last one he was like 

"Why don't you listen to me? You should listen to me! Stop relying on those damn tabs!"

I'm like

Lol isn't that so stinking cute? I watched the movie Hotel Transylvania over at Tyler's house recently, I loved it. Since I went over there I can't find my DS which is pissing me off to no end that I'd be so stupid to leave it somewhere. So many hundreds of hours invested into those damn pokemon games... the past few days I have been getting better sleep so maybe it's best that I put this hobby to bed.................... actually no, I want my DS.

I need to figure out where my student loan money's at and how to get access to it. I also need to call my doctor to see if I can get a refill on my perscription... He didn't call me back the last time I tried so I need to keep working on it. Yesterday I forgot to take prozac and this morning my body felt super sore and stiff, it was somewhat disturbing. But yeah that's just a reminder that I need to get this taken care of. 

My family has been trying to convince me to not take Miranda to college with me... They think that having her in the apartment without the ability to go outside freely is going to have adverse effects on her health and wellbeing. Though I have a hard time believing this myself, the thought of it gives me a ping of indifference on whether or not I should take her. 

She's been acting so weird lately ever since I got the boxes out and I'm convinced it's because she knows that I'm leaving again... This is why I just want to give this a chance to see if she would like to stay with me. If she doesn't I'll bring her home, easy as that. They're also convinced that I'm going to "let her run away" if I bring her up the day of the move. Uh no, we'll bring her in a cat carrier. 

My sister is really angry about me taking her and hasn't really spoke to me in days. Well you know what too bad, she has a boyfriend that's here to keep her company practically 24-7. I'm alone. Case closed. 

peace. 

Look it's baby Reese! Lindy had her baby, he's lovely. 

Lindy's always been an extremely sweet person, she was a very good friend to me back in highschool and we've really lost touch since I've gone to college. I know she knows that I care about her. I'm really happy for her and her new family. Lindy is now engaged to a military guy named Kc. This is him.

His mom seems crazy about Lindy! She loves her, Lindy clearly loves Kc and seems very accepting of the military circumstances. 

It's kind of funny, Logan is actually going into the military too. Logan's someone else that was really part of my life back in highschool. Lol he was so stubborn at times and we were all so competitive with eachother. I feel like Logan will be really good in the military, he's always seemed like the type to really benefit from that career path. He wasn't necessarily a superb student but he's smart enough that he'll be able to operate machinery and take orders well. Who knows, maybe I'll meet him again someday and he'll be a high ranking military official. 

I love facebook... It's such an interesting time in all of our lives and to be able to see people's lives transition so rapidly over the past few years has been pretty astounding. 

I posted this picture on facebook today. I think it's hilarious, I captioned it, "This'll be my kid."

I feel like I'm still pretty far away from the point that I will want to be parent. I feel like everything has been coming to me in good time and hopefully I see myself having my first baby when I'm 25. My Mom was like, "What? You better get on that then.." meaning uh, Emily you haven't had an actual boyfriend for two years now, how the hell are you gonna have a baby in 4 years? 

Today was a pretty rigorous study day for me, exclusively in economics because I have a test tomorrow. I studied for about 2 1/2 hours before Terry texted me at 4' pm asking if I'd studied, lol. Honestly it was the first time I'd really sat down and looked at my economic material for more than 20 minutes all week so I was down to study again. freaking statistics is incredibly time consuming and it's going to dominate some time tomorrow too for our first test on Tuesday. 

Anyway Terry and I met up at the library at 9:30 pm. He was working on doing some revisions to his philosophy when I first got there and we ended up going upstairs to study at some tables. We quizzed eachother on concepts and a lot of the vocab and I was surprised at how many of the questions I knew. I feel confident on tomorrow's test, learning about taxes these past couple weeks has been relatively straightforward.

The study session went really well, it was very productive. We definitely have the same feeling about tests where if there's even one problem that you're like "What the f**k" you just feel like crap. Like walking into a classroom when you don't know the material for a test is the most daunting feeling in both of our opinion so I hope we'll be studying a lot more together. 

He's taken accounting 252 with Holtfreter too so that was pretty hilarious to talk about. He said that class was HARD for him too so it wasn't just my imagination, ha ha. 

peace.

Communication issues

Hi.

Okay. Here I am. Still here in Benton city. It's 12:33 pm. All my stuff is in my car, I have a few pieces of laundry tumbling around in the dryer... I have makeup on and got a good night's sleep but I have horrendous bags under my eyes. I guess there's been a lot on my mind lately. Granted I've been happy, probably happier than I've been in awhile. I usually feel this after coming home, visiting with my friends and family, and then leaving feeling refreshed.

I don't leave my calendar open when I'm home. I don't make a daily checklist either. I just do whatever I want and let the day come to me as it will. In Ellensburg however I find it necessary on the weekdays to write out everything that I need to get done. Maybe it's because I'm living alone or because I have more responsibilities.

It's probably because in college I am 100% accountable for myself, my work, etc... If I stub by toe there's no point of screaming "SH*T!" because there's nobody around to hear it-- versus here at home where if I'd stub my toe the whole house would have to hear about it. It's funny, I find myself falling into old cursing habits when I come home, especially when I'd hang out with Katelynn, but I don't normally curse at school unless I'm around people that make me nervous or intimidated.

I'm trying to cut back on my cursing immensely. It's hard because I got really accustomed to it at home as an anger release, but now I just think of it as something that breeds bad karma. My Dad has been yelling at my mom so much lately and he's practically impossible to communicate with. I know he realizes that we know that he's doing it too but he's afraid of losing his sense of authority if he doesn't yell all the time. He would get so much more respect out of everyone if he would just calm down, but something tells me he can't help it. He  has to yell at people or he feels like nobody's listening...

That or he does it because he's bored and it gives him some kind of satisfaction to yell at us. I don't know. I've helped my mom take everything with a grain of salt with him because I understand now that it's just in his nature to behave this way. It's unfortunately not going to change, and I sincerely believe that he loves us. I just want him to calm down and enjoy life a little more.. But at the same time I think he enjoys getting pissed off about things.

My Mom is so loving and positive but for the sake of convenience and Avery and I's sanity growing up my parents always stuck together and we've always been a family. It's an interesting relationship. My Dad's really smart, I realize that more now as I've gone to school longer because this stuff is difficult. My Dad told me hardly any of this stuff that I'm learning I will have to take directly from memory to work in the future.

Honestly I'm not thinking much about that-- my future in the professional world that is. The most important time is the present. I'm trying to do college to the best of my ability, period. Next quarter I've got statistics, professional speaking and macroeconomics and for the next week or so I'm planning on checking out what to anticipate.

Uh let's see, what else....

Clothes. My mom and I went into town and I got some new clothes to wear. That was kind of a nice confidence boost and feeling of new beginnings after losing Katelynn. I honestly feel that now that we're not best friends anymore I will start wearing brighter colors. I've come to realize that one of the only reasons I wore only dark clothes was because I wanted to stay humble to keep her in my life. Maybe subconsciously I felt that if I dressed girlier she would think I was becoming like my mom and sister and not want to be friends with me. It's all really strange.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that now that Katelynn is not in my life I feel like my main source of judgement for what's happening in my life is gone...

My Mom and I tried to have a discussion with my Dad earlier and I backed up my Mom that he often acts out of line. I surprisingly was able to make him stay and talk for 10 minutes and actually admit that he does act unreasonable. He gets really defensive when you hold him accountable for his behavior at all. It's impossible for my Mom so I kind of have to back her up when he starts screaming about absolutely nothing of importance.

peace. 

Most important test of my life here tomorrow, and more..

It's november so I should start posting things that I'm thankful for. To be honest I'm thankful for a lot of things, many of which I hadn't started being thankful for until just a year or so ago. The more I learn about other people's lives the more I realize how lucky and extremely fortunate I really am. 

Can finally discard this. 

It's not brand new, but hey it's comfortable, adjusts up and down, and helps improve my playing posture. Thank you so much Dad.

One thing I'm fortunate for is the fact that I don't have broke parents. I know that's a shallow thing to say right off the bat this month but it really does make a huge difference in the amount of effort you have to put into getting to the point I am. My parents have always been extremely supportive in paying for my college expenses. Yesterday my Dad came over, brought me a "care package" with a bunch of cool office supplies, a new office chair and $60 for no apparent reason. OH, and on top of everything he took my bike to the shop to get it repaired because I couldn't haul it in my car. Apparently the bike shop is right down the road though so I'll be able to just ride it home when it's ready on Tuesday. 

It's funny my Dad has driven everyone crazy but I'm so thankful to have him because without him I don't think any of this college stuff would be possible. Not only would I probably never look into the business degree had it not been what he taught me about money growing up, but I probably also wouldn't have the same work ethic. He's taught me a lot about hard work and how important it is to manage your money because it can place a huge strain on your life if you don't. 

 We've grown a lot closer over the last year because I understand when he talks to me about work and he gets a sense of accomplishment when he helps me with my schoolwork. He helped explain a concept for tomorrow's accounting test this morning. So I guess I can just say that I'm thankful for my Dad and everything he's given me. I'm of course thankful for my mom too, who puts up with and helps me through alllll of my emotional struggles that I've had over the years. 

November is a time to be thankful, and I can honestly say I'm very, very thankful for everything... especially the opportunities my parents have given me. 

My couch is no longer white! There was a black slip cover up in our attic space that I put over it this morning. Good thing, too, that white was getting sort of grubby, between you and I... 

I've become a better chef! I made that really tasty grilled chicken breast for Reina and I when she came over for lunch this last Friday. She'd told me, "Emily you are my important friend from the US!" I can't tell you how special that makes me feel. She's only going to be in the United States for six months so I really want a chance to take her back to shop in the tri cities. Maybe I can take her to the mall to do some christmas shopping or something. I figure I'm coming home for Christmas break anyway but it's not that far of a ride to just come get here.

We'll see what my finances are looking like... and what my life is looking like, at that time. I can see Reina and I having lunch together every Friday between now and the time she leaves in March, to be honest! 

So I've got my first lesson with Jake on Thursday at 5:30... I've been improving my practice regime just to be able to show him the new stuff I've taught myself since we last met. I'm so, so excited.. Especially for when his website is up and he starts uploading guitar pro tabs! Jake is REALLY.. err, pro-guitar pro, haha. He got me hooked, it's the greatest tab program out right now and because all of his students use it I imagine we'll be able to post songs on the forums.

Jake ALSO invited me to come give lessons sometime at the shop because there are girls that only want to get lessons from a girl. I initially said, "Oh no I couldn't possibly...!" and made up some excuses but after I thought about it I'm like, why the hell not? Wasn't I just advertising that I could give lessons a couple months ago? I now realize I'm not nearly that caliber of a player yet. I believe I'm in the "good" range, I've gone from "beginner" in the first couple months to "intermediate" for the next four months, and I now consider myself "intermediate-good." 

I have the dexterity and technical skill to play almost anything in the Rock-Metal genre but it's a matter of finding the right songs and memorizing the music that's the hard part. Right now I'm learning Sultans of the Swing, Closer to the Sun by Slightly Stoopid and Mother Superior by Coheed and Cambria. I wanted to find three songs outside my typical Iron Maiden crazy box. 

Tomorrow I have the most important accounting test of my life but I'm not feeling particularily anxious because I have studied, very well. I've used flash cards and I've got most of the formulas and concepts down very well. I'm going to study another hour and a half tonight to really solidify some of Chapter 13 that I was having trouble on. I would also like the opportunity to study for an hour or so before I take the exam itself. The exam opens at 10:00 AM.

I have to make sure to wake up early tomorrow to make myself some good ole Mexican eggs. They're a powerhouse of nutrients and they'll help better prepare me for my exam. At the time of my last exam I was probably running on 700-900 calories a day and I've regulated it entirely since then so hopefully I will see a large improvement to my grade from the 60%.

OH, another thing I have to get done tonight is figure out my registration date and pick a list of classes that I want to take next quarter. The sooner I get THAT out of the way the better, as we all know... I do NOT want another professor that doesn't make any sense next quarter. We'll see.

Just got my score on the legal midterm! 79.83, that rounds up to an 80%!! That's a B-!!! YAY!!! 

peace. 

Trying to have patience with my Dad...

This is a picture of myself that I took this morning. Figured I needed a new picture for my new environment. Today's been quiet and I haven't been doing anything really. My parents were supposed to be coming for dinner but because they're working around my Dad's annoying schedule that's been practically impossible. His truck had an issue yesterday that he had to take to TJ. TJ didn't get a chance to take a look at it until 3' or so but they still should have come up in my Mom's van. Whatever, it's fine it's not like I'd be up to much else today anyway.

I've been feeling sort of shy and awkward in comparison to myself at home, though I feel simultaneously comfortable and relaxed. There's writing on my walls all over the place so I guess that's what's keeping me busy. I went out into the school yesterday and didn't really like it. I went to the super desolate library and got scared half to death by the closing alarm. Either way, it's Saturday so there was nothing to do here but sit around and play guitar anyway.

Jason is moving here tomorrow which means I'll probably be spending some time with him. He'll probably be the first guest to my place besides my parents. Kristin's parents have been here all day. I met them this morning and tried to be friendly but it's weird... I feel kind of awkward, like I'm saying offensive things. Maybe it's because I've been so quiet lately I've been paying more attention to the things that I say.

Either way, I'm still happy to be here. I feel happy to not be asking for Rite Aid wellness + cards.

My Dad's probably just got done at Burger ranch in prosser because he hadn't eaten since 8 this morning. Damn it.

peace.