You gotta get off your ass and work, b.....

Today was alright.

I was super amped when I came to class this morning. Terry, Kevin and I discussed what classes we are all taking and we're going to be together in two. They are taking Public finance next quarter which I already took with Sipic. They're taking it with Ghosh. Taking that class with Sipic was super beneficial because it required us to write a professional paper that could be uploaded on LinkedIn. I've been able to improve my profile on there and it's made applying for jobs easier.

One of the North Korean women sent to stage a picnic date for the Danish performers. 

She looks about my age though has undoubtedly experienced tragedy, fear and starvation like I could never imagine. Because this documentary was made fairly recently (2009) I'd assume she's still alive, but things have gotten so much worse over in the DPRK they're sending practically anyone to the gulags so you don't know. 

After class I spent my afternoon watching Netflix documentaries, one of which being the North Korean documentary "The Red Chapel" that I hadn't seen in awhile (yes, I've seen it on numerous occasions...). It's about two Danish-Korean comedians that team up with a journalist and enter North Korea to learn more about the forbidden state. Like any other foreigner to enter the DPRK they were taken on an over the top tour of the showcase capital city and met with a number of North Koreans in staged situations, one of them being a picnic in the park with about 25 "beautiful ladies" (okay I'm not saying they're not pretty, I'm just saying that's how the North Koreans staged it to the tourists..). 

And that barely even scratches the surface of what bizarre things occur in this country. It's again, a complete tragedy and I still pray for democracy and justice in North Korea. 

Anyway.... 

I just need to stop thinking about my own issues and think about finding a way to make money. 

I applied for a few jobs around campus and plan to do more tomorrow. I couldn't find much on Craigslist or monster.com aside from caregiving jobs, which I did apply for but I'm assuming they'd prefer someone with a CNA certification. I'm a caring, patient person that could handle an assistant living job. Plus Hell my aunt Traci's been doing it for years. 

Tomorrow's thursday which means no class.. I'm planning to play a lot of guitar, study, go the gym, guitar lesson, clean bathroom, apply for more jobs....

Night.

peace. 

Switching my major around, sort of

Hey all.

Let's see, it's 1:26 pm and today's been really good. This morning I woke up realizing why I'd been angry all day yesterday. I was really emotional about nothing. Terry and I talked today, everything's cool. I don't know if he's interested in me or not but I've decided I don't really care because it doesn't matter. Terry and I are the same major-specialization so I'm going to see him around for another year.. well that is, if he stays at Central. Since his family is from Aberdeen he might want to go to school closer to his family at some point. Or maybe he'll get picked up by some other team, who knows.

But it's all good. Seriously. If I do hang out with Terry again it will hopefully be to do the second attempt of our statistics homework that is due on Monday. I did the first attempt at that today. It took an hour and I was feeling VERY confident about my answers but was shocked when I got about a D on the assignment score. Luckily Sipic gives us 2 chances (again, I like his class, there's a lot of resources to learn the material including online questions which is a plus. Working online is nice, too) on the assignment.

So because I've liked my Stats and economics classes so much this quarter I've been considering changing majors. Oh that and I can't stand my comm class. And something tells me the Human Resource Management specialization classes will have similar gender distributions as my comm class that has a bunch of Public Relations majors. Lots of females. Now I have nothing against women, obviously I am one! But now that I've started to get a better understanding of economics and statistics and my mind is like-- OH HEY, I CAN kind of do this, I would like to go into Finance and Supply Chain management!

But how do I know if my brain is ready for this? I have to work especially hard. I never anticipated to be taking on this incredible challenge. Finance is a much more difficult choice in regards to the amount of math than Human Resource Management. Professor Sipic really inspired me when he said "Statistics is hard. Math is hard. Get used to it because it will be like that for the rest of your life."

It's so true! And I realize now that my brain has no disadvantage to any other student in class because math is hard for EVERYONE. Granted I do not want to take any more accounting. There is a lot of accounting that goes into this stuff but the finance major is much different:

okay this looks like crud, just copied this onto paint...

This is all the classes needed to get the bachelors in finance. These are the classes that I would take after this quarter, so next year is going to be by no means easy, which is why I'm really working hard in statistics currently to understand this and have a better grasp of what's to come in the upcoming months.

I am really excited to take more econ classes-- especially international economics which I will definitely take with Carbaugh. That will be my third class with him probably. I just really like how his classes are set up, they're easy to follow and his lectures always make sense. Plus he's a kind person and doesn't act like he wants to fail all of us. 

I do not like professors that deliberately act like assholes, honestly. I've been lucky enough to not get any of those.

Because I was not in the greatest mood yesterday I did not do very well on my speech. I feel like I did not act very friendly in a matter of engaging with the audience, so I plan on acting friendier toward people today. Like this poor girl asked me a question about where I got my shirt and I answered that I had no idea and that I didn't care much about fashion. Shit, she was just complimenting my shirt, I need to learn to take a compliment and not take myself so... excuse my wording here, damn serious. Lol just kidding, it's not that, I just honestly didn't know the answer to her question and my nervousness compounded on top of the nervousness of being up there.

Not that I'm afraid of my class or anything. It's just a different group of people. All of the comm majors. It's something that I'm taking to avoid taking technical writing because I already suffered through that at CBC. Lol that was Spring quarter, actually, that was a fun class. That quarter I hung out with Josh F. and Tyson B. before class. Then I met Corey B. and of course Guy.

Speaking of Guy!

I added him on facebook the other day. We're cool. He's doing shows, has a girlfriend and his baby that he probably see's on the weekends, and I'd assume he lives at least somewhat close to his ex.

But yeah, uh professional speaking class. Honestly yesterday I was sitting in class trying to study stats but my calculator buttons were too loud. I need to be a good listener in that class to get a good grade but when I'm the last one on the list and I'm so bored with anticipating for my speech that I wanted to do something productive.

It's just boring. It's nothing against the professor, he seems like a super nice guy and he's trying to make this as interesting as possible by letting us pick our own topics and such. Speaking of which I have an informative paper that I need to do... I'm considering talking about the recent change in affairs with North Korea and how they are basically threatening the US and the South right now. 

don't even read the next three paragraphs, seriously. This is for my own personal reference later.

I think that would be interesting. And specific enough. I will spend part of the presentation talking about the Juche philosophy, and the "Father Figure" and "God" Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong Un. I will talk about how both of them have passed away, and how Kim Jong Un is leader to a country in a desperate situation and in order to draw attention to themselves to make changes have called for war. Of course people have to encourage this in order to not be sent to death camps.

The end of the last remaining command system, communistic regime is coming close to an end! My friend Ethan is currently stationed in South Korea and he doesn't even seem too scared about it because he knows the lack of resources North Korea has. However these people have been so far indoctrinated that even with starvation, lack of electricity, and brainwashing in this secluded country, perhaps soldiers will fight.

The question is what will become of our military? Now what would be CRAZY is if something actually happens between now and the point that I make my speech. Granted it's not likely but literally the North Korean media has been broadcasting it's serious decision to go to war with the US (...oi vey) and South Korea to achieve "Reunification" and the worldwide spread of Juche philosophy. Now, any moron, especially the son of the "Greatest Godlike Surpreme Military Commander that Ever Lived Kim Jong Il", Kim Jong Un will know that the likelihood of this actually happening is worse now than ever. The Juche philosophy and insane dictatorship was barely conceivable in the 1950's when North Korea was actually ahead economically of it's South Korean counterpart, let alone today where the DPRK has been hit with massive floods, starvation and death of probably a third of it's population by this point (I will definately double check this when I am doing the presentation. Unfortunately because North korea is so secretive this information will more than likely not be available. It's not like North Korea has a census, individuals in their society don't matter!)


Alright anyway, tty guys later. Gonna go to my speech class now... blarggg

peace.

Unexpectedly found this interesting

Hello!

I'm feeling very good today. Why? Because I found something else I enjoy. I can honestly say I am going to really enjoy my economics class this quarter. I just read the second chapter that talked about the major differences between the command and market systems. The command system is otherwise known as socialism or communism-- just like North Korea and the increasingly Capitalist China. America's market system explains why self interest and competition is what drives the advancement of society as a whole. Our market freedom enables us to grow and change in a land of unlimited wants and limited resources.

In North Korea, the government mandates what will be produced, how the resources will be acquired, what consumers will have access to these products, and who will distribute the products. Imagine if the United States government tried to regulate the millions of products in the market system today-- it would be impossible. These are jobs that are best suited for the individual. 

Communism tries to rely on the government for every decision. Personal freedom to advance and create is stripped from the individual in order to better conform to the group. Freedom to be an individual in the United states is something we truly take for granted. Thank God for the brave soldiers in World War II that literally saved the world from the spread of communism-- which has now proved to be an outright failure.


I don't mean to get too excited about this class this early on (as I've only had the class two days now) because opinions are often subject to change after the first test. However I will say I have a great feeling about it. The professor is really awesome too. His name is Dr. Carbaugh, he's probably about in his mid to late 60's. He's extremely attentive to students and flexible to their needs. I can tell he truly cares about his students and wants us to do well.

My economics class is in the same room as my accounting class last quarter, though I don't feel the same kind of stress that I felt entering Holtfreter's class. Holtfreter cared about his students, too, but he wasn't entirely straightforward on certain things that kept us on our toes 24-7. Carbaugh told us there will be absolutely no "pop quizzes" or anything unexpected. That alone makes me happy. I still plan to read ahead though because I actually enjoyed the first two chapters of the textbook.

Oh!! Talking about this class reminds me... I met someone! Her name is Julie I believe, I suck at names. Maybe she just looks like a Julie... She does kind of remind me of Julie P. in some ways. She has dark hair, pretty cute face, and she mainly wears thick rimmed glasses. She's very "nerd chic" I guess you could say. I might get a different impression as I get to know her better.

Anyway, we now sit next to eachother in two of our classes and she gave me a tour around Kamola hall! She's like "OH YEA it's haunted!" which cracked me up. You guys might remember an earlier entry where I talked about how Kamola Hall is supposedly haunted because a girl committed suicide back in the 1940's. Well she confirmed it, stating that her roommate flipped out when half a bagel she was eating mysteriously flew across the floor.

I've also recently got in touch with Eli, the girl I was originally considering living with at the beginning of the year. I had met her at orientation but we lost touch after she said she had another roommate that she had prior plans with. It was fine all and all because I found my roommate easily. Living with Kristin has been great because I've felt like I've lived completely on my own for the past 4 months. Oh my gosh, this is crazy, Kristin has a friend over. This is the first time this has ever happened. They sound exactly the same, lol I'm tempted to walk out just to see what her friends look like but I look super icky today. I've been smoking, my hair's a wreck, no makeup... And I don't want to bug her at all, lol. She never bugs me.

Ha ha, just another funny blurb before I go. I keep on waking up at 5:00 in the morning thinking Miranda is going to be in my room meowing at me to flush the toilet. I suddenly realize I'm back at school and go back to sleep.

peace. 

Excited!! My big list of plans to do

Oh god, this picture is embarrassing. I guess you could say with the challenge there really wasn't a second pick, Brendan and I took a bunch of pictures but we both looked like total derps until I just happen to get a good one. I've been using my Muscle Milk containers as tripods that I can use anywhere and actually provide a much more stable surface than any tripod I've used previously. Thriftiness!

We look pretty wacky in this photo. That's why I didn't choose it.

Anyway, that's Brendan! From my legal class! Ha ha, I mentioned him before and here he is!

I briefly talked to him before our final. I noticed he was wearing a "state" track sweater and I asked where he was from. He said he's from Zillah. I told him I played tennis for Ki-Be and he said, "Ohh you probably know some people I know. You know Rossetti C." I'm like, yeah, we had quite the rivalry Junior year and kind of cracked up. That seems like such a long time ago now. 

I'll leave it at that. Ha ha.

I rewarded myself with a nice long workout tonight. I sometimes don't work out even if I'd like too because I don't want to over exert my body and potentially lose too much weight. I've been snacking a little more lately. I just don't want to over exert by taking two bikerides back and forth between my apartments and Shaw then somewhere else.. yadda yadda, I'd rather not have a biking body. Too skinny. It's difficult to maintain the weight you want, I have to trust that my body appreciates what I'm putting in it and will let me know if I'm lacking any nutrients...

I just want what I'm eating to be the last of my concerns. I'd like to take a small grocery shopping trip when I get home to make sure I get what I need. I've managed it to where I've got about a weekly to a week and a half amount of time that I go between shopping trips. Sometimes I have to take in between trips, but they're usually smaller trips at around $25-30.

Usually grocery shopping costs $70-$100. I'll make two stops-- one at Fred Meyer to get frozen fruits and vegetables. The second stop is at Grocery outlet where I get most of my groceries now. I'm going to write out a rough list so I can know what to buy when I get home. 

Things I usually need:

-Beef, I'll get the small steaks that I can freeze. I eat one small steak 4-5 days out of the week, usually topped with sauted onion-pepper blend. Topped with rooster sauce, delicious over...

-Rice. I make rice about 3-4 times a week. Sometimes I will have the steak on it's own. Other times on white rice. I have to be careful with white rice because I have a tendency to bloat when I eat too much of it.

-Whole wheat bread.

-Lunch meat of some kind.

-Eggs

-Bacon. I tried buying bacon this last week but it was a complete fail because it was the cheap stuff and was DISGUSTING quality. All fat. I could barely choke it down even mixed in my eggs and mixed with cheese/salsa.

-Tortillas.

-Cheddar cheese. Right now I've got some of this in my fridge that will last me a good while.

-Frozen chicken. Have to make sure they don't already have some at home, they probably do, my sister loves her chicken salads.

-Sesame oil. I'm gonna try and score some to bring home. I intend to hit the Saigon Market when I'm back. One more thing I want to do...

-Bag of frozen peaches, bag of frozen green vegetable. 

-1% milk.

Okay now you guys want to hear the list of all the awesome things I want to do this Christmas break?? (in no particular order.)

1. Go shopping with Gardenia.

2. Hang out with Seth.

3. Call and catch up with Stephanie.

4. Visit Brenden tomorrow in Zillah.

5. Get coffee with Dani before my guitar lesson.

6. Check out Taylor's apartment in Kennewick.

7. Go out with Samantha.

8. See Brad after one of my lessons.

...And of course hang out with Katelynn. I wish I could catch up with everyone. I'd like to plan this so that I can figure out which people I'd like to see in Richland, then hit up those people in that day, of course dedicate one day to shopping with Gardenia which would be a trip and back from Kennewick. Hanging out with Seth and seeing Taylor's apartment will be in the same trip. Whenever I'm in Kennewick I plan to see Katelynn or be with Katelynn throughout the day as well. 

We'll see how this goes, I'm really going to make an effort this break to see new people, really enjoy catching up... Many people I do keep caught up with on Facebook. 

Gosh I'm getting a little drunk as I write this, I'm drinking wine mixed with some of the last of that orange juice in the fridge. Man, as I'm letting my groceries deplete to the bare essentials I'm starting to realize how scary it must have been as a North Koreans and Soviet Russians during food shortages. I literally feel so much sympathy for these people... especially the North Koreans that are putting up with this even today. 

peace. 

Weeding through garbage to find the right match, etc..

Hello friends, enemies, whoever is reading this.

I am excited for work today. Why? Because today marks 20 more days! This is my third to last Thursday shift. To make things more interesting, I will really try to work to my fullest extent the next nine days to really leave with a bang so it's good if I need to use them as a reference. Eh, it probably won't make a difference in the long run anyway, I've just got to keep the next nine shifts interesting or the next twenty days will feel longer then it already is.

I just need to think of the Tea Girl, and my Noh mask, and all my other strange symbols that have helped me get through the last few months of being extremely burnt out with my job.

Hard to believe it's been a year! The country fair is in town and lots of people are going to be at the rodeo tonight. I just remember that this time last year I was hanging out with Lindy, Mitch, Tyler and occasionally Samantha and Shawn. We went to the fair on a double date type deal, when really it felt a little silly for me to be walking around with Tyler. I mean don't get me wrong, Tyler is a nice guy, but he's younger than me and he's really not what I was looking for in a boyfriend. At that time, though, there was really nobody that I had met... my circumstances were the same as they are now, but at least now the end is in sight and there will be more opportunities to meet people once I get out of here.

Because really here my efforts on meeting anyone have been futile. I really did give up about six months ago and since then I've had random little flames here and there-- like I'll find someone attractive but I'll never actually commit to a relationship with them unless they meet my real standards. I don't hold too high of standards, I'd really like a guy to be intelligent, attractive, presentable, funny. Those are the four standards that I hold highest. A guy with no sense of humor is no fun to be around at all. I can't be with someone that's stupid or very unattractive. But if they're somewhat different looking the other three traits can easily make up for it and make someone more attractive to me.

It just never happened here. I feel like I've never really been close with anyone. The longest relationship I ever had was with Chino which was back when I was 15 (six months), it's been so long that it almost seems silly to talk about it. Ever since then the amount of time my relationships lasted got shorter and shorter until they evaporated into dealing with guys that only want to hook up and you basically have to wait and wait until it's convenient for them to talk to you.

On the New Year I decided I wasn't going to put up with any more shit and pledged that I wouldn't get close to any guy until I was out of the Tri cities. This actually lasted awhile until me and Connor A. started talking again (Connor being my ex boyfriend from when I was 16). I didn't want to be in a relationship with Connor again but it was really comfortable to be around him because I didn't feel like he was going to use or hurt me in any way so I openned up to him a little bit.

We had a few good visits together and he's really the only one I recall having any feelings toward in 2012. My feelings for him are sort of like "Love," but not in a "I love you" way, but more of a reminiscent connection that I will always have with him. When me and Connor spent time together it made me more forgiving of that time in my life, being 16 and a bit of an emotional rollarcoaster. Me and Connor always clicked really well, and I look back on our relationship as one of my fondest memories from my teens.

I doubt we'll ever spend time together again, he's very wrapped up in his own business as I am with mine. No way of telling if we'll cross paths but I'll always consider him a friend to me.

Things have changed a lot since that time, I'm sure when that guy does come around that I'll know. I'm going to have to weed through more garbage before that time comes, I'm sure, but with the amount of knowledge that I've gained from being emotionally isolated this long there's not much that can penetrate my shield that I've  built unless it really is the right person for me. I'm no longer going to put up with guys that want to hook up with as many girls as they can and still talk to a girl they're interested in emotionally on the side. It's a huge red flag and it's everywhere lately.

Alright I need to play more guitar. Wish me luck at work, hope it goes fast.

peace.

Tea girl, you inspire me.

Evening everyone. 

I got a toaster. It's red, $7 at Wal Mart. I bought a bunch of stuff today. Useful stuff that I look forward to using such as some moisturizer for combination skin, Neutrogena grapefruit wash, some boring bodywash that took FOREVER to pick out.

This is what I ended up picking. It smells okay, I'm kind of wishing I would have gone with something sweeter though. I really wanted the smell of pine. It sucks, they don't make pine smelling bodywash! I really love that smell, my mom has this handsoap in the kitchen that smells like it and I adore the smell it leaves on my hands so I decided while walking around in Wal Mart today... "HEY! I want to wear pine body wash. Wait, there is none." 

I was probably meandering around those aisles for 40 minutes before I found all the random junk I realized I needed. Happy I did though. I also got a few school supplies, whatever. I've been picking up things at Rite Aid lately, remembering things I'd need. It's funny, Wal Mart is a lot better about product placement, they really remind you of all the things you'll need versus the little dinky, overpriced sections at Rite Aid. Usually I'll just shop their out of convenience. I'm sooo happy my sister is getting groceries, I'll be able to pack a lunch tomorrow morning. 

10 More Shifts

I think I need to start packing a lunch from now on in general. The food that I buy at Rite Aid isn't good for me at all, typically. Sometimes I'll buy disgusting bags of spanish rice that you cook in the microwave. Everything is too high in sodium and long shelf life like that. God, I need to stop buying stuff, today was the last day I swear to God. Usually I'll also buy fruit or something but today I was in a rush because I'd bought shampoo and conditioner and wanted to get to the break room to text. Texting after dealing with all these people at Rite Aid is nice... 

My job gets old but as I've said before I'm making the most of it. Sometimes at work I think about the "Tea Girl." 

In North Korea one of the highest job titles is to be a tour guide to foreigners that come into the hermit country. The "Tea Girl" is a very pretty North Korean girl that works in a tea shop under the communist regime. The economy in Korea is dead, and goes there to work every day for one visitor every 10 months. You'd have to watch the documentary to understand this, I really encourage you to. 

This is the "Tea Girl" from the documentary by Vice that has caused a lot of comment "thumb ups" on youtube. She's struck a lot of people as both enchanting and well... sad, we all feel extremely sad for her circumstances, and all these other poor, innocent people under the communist regime in North Korea.

I could go on about the regime all day. That's not my point. 

Why she inspires me.

Because my job is extremely tedious. You're stuck all day doing and saying the same damn things under the corporate eye. Nobody is really in charge. This is sort of like North Korea. The Rite Aid (and Wal Mart, for that matter) corporate machine is parallel to the North Korean communist regime when you're working for them. You have to follow a certain protocol, act a certain way, wear a certain thing... it's all atrociously boring. 

So when I'm at my boring job and feel my knees ache or my stomach growl, I think of the tea girl, stand a little straighter, put on my Noh mask, and deal with these people as professionally as I possibly can. Of course she doesn't even get the luxury of customers. It is complete pointless boredom. 

S'okay. Not gonna have to do this again, 10 more shifts. 

4 sunday shifts, 6 hours each.

3 saturday shifts, 6 hours each. 

3 thursday shifts, 6 hours each. 

I'm not going to add up those numbers because it'll distort the truth, I've only got three weeks left! Three weeks until I move! Yahoo, things are getting really interesting. I texted Kristin today about buying the toaster and she said she's got a futon and end table that she's bringing for the front room. I feel like I should provide a chair of some kind then. I'm going to need chairs for my business. 

Deal with it later.

peace.