I've got soo much on my mind right now. It's 12:30 pm, spent a little time BSing on facebook before I decided to write.


I worked until about 11:30 pm tonight. Kids was an absolute mess because of back to school shopping. I'm exhausted. No luck with findmores or credit apps today because I was more focused on trying to work as hard as I could to fix some of the havoc. I have no doubt that my coworkers are trying their hardest. It's just very difficult to keep up with people. I have recently developed a much better knack of locating items on the floor in childrens, which is a lot to remember when I'm trying to help maintain both fitting rooms. Blegh. Lots of running around. Which I like... I keep busy which makes the time go faster. I feel like I do help customers and they generally appreciate my help but I rarely push the credit cards or hassling people to buy shit online.

I saw a few really sweet kids today. A hispanic family walked up and their daughter said "You look pretty" just totally out of the blue. Their were wearing these little matching hair piece things that I'd said looked pretty too. There was also this super cute little blonde girl that came with her parents and her Dad's brother or something that looked about my age. She said "Hi!" to me just out of the blue and waved and I'm like "Hi how are you?" I'd mentioned the family because that guy that looked about my age knocked over a rack of skirts and actually helped me put it back up because the stupid screw wasn't working.

I don't know, in retrospect today was a very good day at work. It might have not been perfect in there when we left but I definitely worked as hard as I could and feel like I'm generally getting better at my job. Good news for me because I'm almost positive I'm going to be in kids for the rest of the month. I mean I realize now that they kind of need me there, I mean it needs help more than the downstairs does, so I just need to stop bitching about not working downstairs.

There. That's the last I will speak of it. I kind of groaned when I learned I was working upstairs today but I know now it's just for my own selfish reasons-- you know I just wanted to work with Katelynn, Angie, Chad, etc... That's not logical, it's just bullshit selfishness. Shame on me, lol.

Okay enough about work...



Texted Jay a little bit today. Well I got one text this morning in response to the one I'd sent him last night. I admit I do feel sort of awkward when I send him a text and I don't get a response at all.. like you know I'll double-read it like "Did that sound stupid?" Ha ha. But yeah I'm not worried about it because for all I know he might not even have a phone charger where he is. He's on a work trip all weekend doing construction, after an entire week of 5-day shifts.

\Here's Patrick, Janell, and Seth D. I've actually talked to Seth somewhat extensively because I was pretty interested in the cross country trip that they took. Jannell is dating Patrick, who worked with Katelynn at Wal Mart. Patrick's a pretty unique guy, I can appreciate his personality but we've never really connected so I've always thought of him more as an acquaintance than Seth who I feel is my friend. 

I try not to think about Jay that much because it's dawned on me how weird it is that we're actually spending time together and don't know if it's going to last because of our previous experience. I honestly thought I had burned my bridge with him completely after texting him that day back like... last August before I moved out. I remember I'd been at Samantha's house that day. Jannell had come up in a conversation, who had just hung out with Samantha awhile earlier. Samantha and Jannell are pretty good friends, Jannell and Jay are also good friends... Me and Jannell however have never really clicked. Anyway when samantha had brought her up it had made me think about the previous radcon and how frustrated the second day had made me when he "bailed" and was raving about it to Jannell that night. Turns out he actually wasn't at the con that day because he was hungover, but I'd taken it like he was doing it to blow me off.

So I texted him all pissed off and was like "I heard you're a player" and yadda yadda ya... it was so stupid. He replied, "... what was the point of you sending me these messages?" lol...


I don't know now that I look back on it, it seriously sounds doesn't even sound like me. I have enough confidence that I'm a different person than I used to be to some degree. But I still think back to some of the things that Jay said to me when I was younger about how much my personality bothered him which still makes me think he's not going to stick around long. So I try not to think about it either way and just let things roll. But yeah, of course I have to write everything out to make sense of my thoughts lately.

peace.

Guess who doesnt have to find a new job. Patience.

Evening everyone. Technically goodmorning because it's almost 2 am.

I had such a fun day at work with Angie in the dresses department today. I don't know if I've ever mentioned Angie before but she's this super pretty Mexican girl that lives with her husband and son. She moved up from Mexico a few years ago so an accent that makes her really entertaining for me to listen too. Having friends that I'm working with downstairs is super nice..

I got home from work at 11' and practiced guitar for an hour before calling it quits a little while ago. I browsed around facebook to see what people have been up too. Didn't find anything interesting really and have seen the news feed a number of times today because I was bored in the break room at work. I really shouldn't waste time but sometimes it's very relaxing to do so.


Working in Kids was difficult and made me prepared for anything honestly. I'm not saying working in Kids is harder because there are annoying ass, tedious tasks in every department... what makes kids more frustrating is the little pieces. Folding little teeny shirts and stacking them on short shelves. The racks are shorter too to cater to younger critiques.

Baby clothes are the worst because they have three pieces per set on special hangers. Luckily most people don't try to cart their baby into a dressing room and put clothes on it before purchase.

So I forgot to mention this. A couple days ago when I'd hung out with Josh H. and some of his buddies after work (Josh is rarely in town so I went over to Travis's house after work. This was the first time I'd talked to either of Josh's friends honestly.) at around 12:30 am. I hate late night phone calls but they're especially bad when they come from really creepy automated voices.

It was a "CWU Alert" calling to inform me of the following: "On July 20, 2013 at approximately 10:45 pm a male who appears to be in his early 20’s   was found lying in the O5 parking lot on the campus of Central Washington University. The male had what appears to be multiple stab type wounds and medical aid was notified. The male was transported to the hospital." 

That's exactly what the message said. These guys that I was sitting with were joking around like "Wow by the look on your face that looks like a call I'd want to get!" They were kind of drunk... I think they meant the other way around. Anyway after that disturbing phone call I'd decided to not think about it but later I opened my email to find it again and now I'm wondering what happened. It's actually really weird for something like this to happen in Ellensburg, and I'm sure scared the hell out of the lucky few that are living there this summer.

If I was communicating with Terry I could ask him if he'd heard much about it but we haven't talked since the night I texted him saying I'm done trying to see eachother. I know that he doesn't take me as seriously as I am but I meant it. I'm literally likely not going to talk to him the rest of the summer. That's Terry f*cking S. for you. And then we'll see eachother in the fall and act like that didn't happen and that not seeing eachother all summer should have been expected. I can't say it wasn't... But he still did get in touch with me off and on so I didn't know. He's so weird, I don't get him.

I've honestly really had my mind on someone else. It's never worked with us so I don't know why this time would be any different but I would just really like to spend time with him. But yeah I'm not going to contact him. He needs to show initial interest in me because the last time we'd tried going there he basically told me that doesn't like my personality. I could see why, at the time I'm sure I acted pretty crazy. I just really liked him and didn't know how to act right yet. But I was 18-- and so torn over the Jack thing at that time that I'm sure I was looking for someone to latch onto. The guy that I'm referring to is very laid back, independent and kind of a no-BS kind of guy and that's what I've always been super attracted to. 

We'll see.

peace. 

You can't save me, I am fading

So this is what I've just started today because I've literally just been practicing invention for the past week, it's been stupid overboard but the time of that recital is creeping up on me and that song is freaking hard to pick correctly.

Anyway I really like Slash's work in this. I'm not a big fan of the vocals but the lyrics aren't bad and neither is the vocal quality. It's just not my favorite style particularly.

Here's a bleeping picture of me today. Yay, you know what's totally awesome, closing on a saturday.... blegh. I am going to work hard today though. Whenever I get down about work I think about what Hank Hill says: "Find the job everyone hates, and then do it better!"

According to Hank Hill in order to do a good job you have to have a "Can-do" attitude and do what your boss tells you without asking a lot of questions. Babies don't work and need everything handed to them. Therefore if you are an adult you work. Ha ha all these things ring in my head when I start bitching about my job and it kind of humbles me because it's true. 

But yeah obviously I'd rather just be playing guitar and sitting around at home. Nothing really new to talk about but I'm going to try to make the best of today. It's definitely hot and there's a bunch of motorcycle drivers on the road which always makes me a little nervous. I always drive slow so if I get caught in the left lane and a motorcyclist gets behind me trying to go 75 and always feel like they're going to lose their momentum and fly off. Motorcycles are so f*ing dangerous.

Damn I've lost some of the tone in my core because I am not exercising as frequently and have been eating more than when I was living up in ellensburg. I'm not worried about it. My back has really hurt though. I should really make an effort to start practicing standing up to take the tension off my back. When I sit at my computer I get slouchy naturally and I do all I can to improve my posture. Back problems later would really suck.

peace.

Night shifts making me more nocturnal. Some cool stuff

On my way to work today I saw Haeli Z. at the gas station with her Mom. She yelled out "Nobody cares" and it seemed like her mom was trying to calm her down. Scroll down my facebook wall feed today,turns out her and Nick got married! Weird that I just happened to see her in the first time in years. 

Good for them, they have a son together and I wish them the best. 

During the summer I always tend to change my sleeping routine so that I'm staying up at night when it's cool and staying asleep in the mornings until noon or so. I do tend to get stuff done at night, like that's usually the best time for me to read, do any last practicing, whatever. I don't get disturbed much at night so I like it. During the day I have a hard time getting anything done because I have other chores and responsibilities. I think maybe if I tried to be more proactive about getting up in the morning to get things really clean and throw a load of laundry in I would have more time in the day.

My darling Miranda is so happy that I'm home from work. I've been out all day and she's been outside all day.

Today I did a lot of shopping, probably spent about $100 of my hard earned $300 paycheck. Woww-zaaah, big bucks. Lol. I still feel so poor even on payday because here I am trying to save money this summer but it's hard....  Mainly because like most people I really like stuff. Today I got some awesome stuff with my paycheck. A lot of it I got a really good value on because of my employee discount.

I got:
-It's a 10 miracle leave in product. Basically the constant factor that I believe has let me grow my hair out this long... 
-Big sexy hair shampoo/conditioner liters (these would normally be $40, got em for $24).
-Loreal Feria dye (Dark brown)
-Illuminator powder from Saphora
-1 "joe fresh" black tanktop and 1 striped b&w shirt
-Green tanktop

That's all the things on my to-buy list, aside from the mac foundation which I've decided to hold off until my next paycheck. I had a very productive day. Only got 30 min of practice in but my hands needed a break because I had a long day at work.

peace.

New job and buying junk out of boredom

Well I've got some good news, guys.

For those of you that don't know already I got the job at JCpennies so that'll be starting here in a week or so. I'm really hoping both of my jobs will start soon because I am bone broke. Still haven't gotten word back from Rite aid about the drug test or when I'd be starting so hopefully that's around the corner as well.

I went to the mall with Katelynn yesterday and spent a bunch of money on stuff I probably didn't really need, like a new bra, an eyeshadow palette from Sephora and a ton of jewelry at Claires for their 10 for $10 sale. If I was smart about how I spent my money I would have bought some black slacks for work... nope!

Whatever, things like this really add a little extra joy to my day...

Onigiri earrings. I have a bunch of little sushi earrings with smileys on them like this and I look forward to wearing them to work. Sort of a blast from the past for me, but what the hell they were a dollar.

I've been off Prozac because I've been unable to get my prescription refilled without meeting with my doctor. I'm going to my appointment on Monday at 9:15. Prozac has really worked for me so it's irritating to not have it for the weekend because I will inevitably be feeling lethargic and headachey... like today I slept about 4 hours after I'd eaten breakfast, what a waste! Regardless of this I've been feeling pretty good the last couple days because of my recent success in getting the job so I'm just hoping to kick back this weekend and not worry about anything. 

But yeah haven't been up to much aside from working on getting my job, playing a ton of guitar and hanging out at home. I feel pretty content lately, and for that reason don't have much to say. Goodnight all.

peace.