On my way to work today I saw Haeli Z. at the gas station with her Mom. She yelled out "Nobody cares" and it seemed like her mom was trying to calm her down. Scroll down my facebook wall feed today,turns out her and Nick got married! Weird that I just happened to see her in the first time in years.
Good for them, they have a son together and I wish them the best.
During the summer I always tend to change my sleeping routine so that I'm staying up at night when it's cool and staying asleep in the mornings until noon or so. I do tend to get stuff done at night, like that's usually the best time for me to read, do any last practicing, whatever. I don't get disturbed much at night so I like it. During the day I have a hard time getting anything done because I have other chores and responsibilities. I think maybe if I tried to be more proactive about getting up in the morning to get things really clean and throw a load of laundry in I would have more time in the day.
My darling Miranda is so happy that I'm home from work. I've been out all day and she's been outside all day.
Today I did a lot of shopping, probably spent about $100 of my hard earned $300 paycheck. Woww-zaaah, big bucks. Lol. I still feel so poor even on payday because here I am trying to save money this summer but it's hard.... Mainly because like most people I really like stuff. Today I got some awesome stuff with my paycheck. A lot of it I got a really good value on because of my employee discount.
I got:
-It's a 10 miracle leave in product. Basically the constant factor that I believe has let me grow my hair out this long... -Big sexy hair shampoo/conditioner liters (these would normally be $40, got em for $24).
-Loreal Feria dye (Dark brown)
-Illuminator powder from Saphora
-1 "joe fresh" black tanktop and 1 striped b&w shirt
-Green tanktop
That's all the things on my to-buy list, aside from the mac foundation which I've decided to hold off until my next paycheck. I had a very productive day. Only got 30 min of practice in but my hands needed a break because I had a long day at work.
So I just got done with one of my main chores this weekend which was to deliver my resume/job application to the liquor store, as well as the Roadhouse, and then I also picked up a couple applications to deliver to WingCentral. It sucks not having a printer, I had to give the Liquor store people a copy of my resume that had another business's name scratched out.
I was hoping to see the manager today but I did talk to the man I'd talked to yesterday again. He said that they are planning on hiring a part time employee for the summer and I could potentially get more hours. Good, that's what I want. The more hours I can get this summer the more money I can make. There's a lot more earning potential for me here in Ellensburg then back in the tri cities because I don't have to drive nearly as much. That AND I'll be able to keep my place here...
Of course because I'm going to be working so much and still playing guitar I'm probably going to be a lot more busy and tired than I am right now with school. My schedule right now is actually pretty easy in comparison to the "real world." I only go to class 3 hours a day and then the rest is spent studying, playing guitar or messing around online.
Class registration for summer is tomorrow. Again I've decided not to take classes. I'm not in any race to graduate and have some investment planning job somewhere, I'm not ready for that right now because I need a better understanding of how businesses actually run in society.
So I'm really just crossing my fingers. If I can get this job part time as well as a hostess job I'll be set for this summer.
Last night me and Jack hung out. I'd gotten ready to go to a party with Allie at around 9' but ended up accidentally falling asleep... I guess I felt like meditating for a little while and... oops. Anyway I got a call from Jack at 1 in the morning, and he was walking around somewhere outside. He asked if I wanted to hang out, I said yes and unable comprehend directions of where he wanted to meet exactly he just ended up showing up here.
It's really too early to say what's going on in Jack's head at this point because I'm so shocked that we've hung out twice to be honest with you guys. It's just totally weird that we're suddenly hanging out and everything's cool after all this craziness. We had some really good talks yesterday about things, like about why things kept happening the way that he did..
I guess it just comes down to the fact that his friends back in Benton city always acted weird around me which is why we didn't really work out back then. He said this last night and I agree, they always did-- it's because I was never nice to them as kids. Like Jesse and Ryan... I was always kind of a snit because I was shy and they were always kind of mean to me when we were little. So as we got older things just continued to be that awkward between us, which is why I never came anywhere near his friends in highschool and when we hung out back then it was always really hush-hush which was really annoying to me.
The truth is however is I understand why he didn't want to bring me around people... I was kind of weird... and really negative. And a lot of that just comes from feeling insecure which a lot of people can read, and sophomore year when I met Jack was an especially bad year for me in general. I was dealing with.. the fallout of the Chino relationship ending, ...his psycho sister making those flyers about me, ...Kandyce's friends gunning for me, ...I took WELDING with Jessica S. and didn't have a partner in weight training that year ....Katharine and I weren't on good terms ..so I was hanging out with Tony's GIRLFRIEND at lunch... (awkward) ...And the hot new foriegn girl in school that Jack wanted to get with and would ask me advice on how to get her.
2008 was a complete bitch, yet at the same time I remember dealing with it pretty well considering what was going on. Lol video games got me through that time pretty well...
This is the game I used to play continually that year and I guess it numbed my mind.
First of all, I need to pick out a small piece of something showy that I can use in a video promoting Jacob's business. Apparently my two videos weren't the correct format that he was looking for so I need to do the following:
-Play 20 seconds (something fast)
-State my name, how long I've gotten lessons with A Sharp Guitar School, and why I like it.
Done.
I just have to find what I'm going to play. He told me to choose something that I'm comfortable with but I think instead I'm going to find something new, like maybe I'll find a piece of Phantom of the Opera and really shred on it over and over today until it sounds good enough for the video. Maybe not today but sometime this week this has to get done...
I'm probably just going to hang out with Katelynn again today. I hung out with Samantha for the last time before I leave yesterday. It was a really nice time, we walked around shops like Leyte. I'm planning on making some fried noodles tonight with tempura, yum!
And back to my project....
Project Year Timeline
Age 17, 2008-2009 Last year of being wrapped up in highschool, failed relationships and becoming a true metalhead.
Junior year I sort of found my first concrete group with Robert, Skyler, Logan and Tyler. I'd always liked Robert from when I'd met him in middle school, I remember the first thing I said to him (when I was about 12) is that he "looked like the guy in System of a Down." I think I meant Daron Malakian at the time. Anyway, Robert invited me to Logan's on halloween and I started spending time with them both in and outside of school. We all took Spanish together.
Junior year was my peak with soccer, I remember doing really well that year even if our season wasn't fantastic. Marty played me a lot more, but because of my aggression I really only got significant chunks of playing time against teams like Naches, Connell, etc... I started to get a little more control than I did my sophomore year, but my passing and dribbling skills were still crummy. Actually they always were. My only real skill in soccer was the human shield factor, and it served it's purpose on many occasions.
I don't miss that part of highschool at all.
One memory that I AM quite fond of is having Calligraphy with Skyler F. We sat next to eachother at this extremely crowded table of David P. (who I honestly sort of had a crush on that year even if he was a sophomore), Drake J., Zach K. and Dwight R. It was a pretty difficult art class but we had a lot of fun doing lettering projects. I'm pretty sure Skyler and I were the only ones at the table that passed the class, the rest of them would spend more time screwing around than actually working... I wasn't very good at calligraphy itself at the beginning and really had to work at it to get it down. Still, the class was two hours long and we had a blast ripping on eachother, talking about music and joking around.
I also joined the art club this year and went on a field trip to Seattle, another one of my fondest memories. I spent a lot of time with Sitthinee and learned about Thai culture.
I went to my only prom my Junior year with Robert, Amy, Samantha and Shawn. This was before me and Sam were really friends, but I think I was *trying* to be her friend so I invited them along. I remember singing System of a Down in the car with Robert like a f*cking nut and it makes me a little embarrassed but it makes smile at the same time.
Prom was really, really fun. We had an awesome time and that dress was HOT, HOT, HOT.
I had the craziest tennis season Junior year because of the problems I had with Nicki. This picture might actually be from sophomore year because it was taken at the courts across from Wolfies... What made Junior year interesting is that those beautiful new courts were built so we ALL got WAY more practice time than we did waiting in line for others when we only had two courts.
I said things to Nicki that I really would never think to say to anyone... it was horribly mean and out of character for me but she was being a two-faced bitch and threatened my 1st spot, I felt a need to damage her psychologically to better my chances to get ahead. To be honest we were very neck in neck in our playing skills, Nicki worked hard... which made me work harder. I got lessons, practiced with Lindy as much as I could, then was able to maintain my position. Not with the help of the coaches, they hated me that year. I had no support from them, which was frustrating, and I couldn't even celebrate my wins without feeling guilty about it. The whole season was an emotional mind f*ck; I hated it.
Somehow I was able to come back the next year and completely kick ass, but Junior year was a huge struggle in tennis because of all the drama. I did have a lot of support from friends though, at the time I'm pretty sure I was hanging out a lot with Lindy, who was also on the tennis team and more than happy to rip on Nicki with me.
It's sad when I look back on it, just to let the reader know, I DID apologize to Nicki. Though it wasn't all one sided (she admits to being out of line in her behaviors that CAUSED me to act like this), I still felt extremely bad a couple years later and said I was sorry at RadCon this last year. She's okay, neither of us ever became big tennis stars (hahaha) and none of it ever mattered so I don't know why we let ourselves get so wrapped up in sports...
I guess they were the most important thing at the time, everybody wants some sort of glory from beating others. Again, don't miss sports.
Overall:
Looks:
I wore a LOT of Metal t-shirts that year, I guess probably more to impress Robert and Skyler and them than anything, it's like I really wanted to prove that "Yes, I like this music too, I'm one of you guys."
I took that friendship pretty seriously, you guys have to understand that I never really had any close friends in my class of 2010 so finding a group that was only slightly younger than me and didn't know my past very well gave me a chance to have a clean slate and really be myself. I could never be myself around my own class because they were very mean and exclusive toward me; it's like nobody in my class really seemed to like me enough to want to spend time with me, I gave up. Wearing the metal t-shirts, again, was like quietly taking a stand against them.
Work:
Babysat for Carmin and Chad. This was before Tori.
Skills:
I mainly focused on sports, but I did learn calligraphy this year which I still remember the alphabet for today. Mrs. Mowery told us that we'd never forget and it's a skill we'll have the rest of our lives, it's true!
Love:
Chad reminds me of Hank Hill (I look back on him and I can REALLY see why him and Caitlin worked well together). He was so logical and didn't get half the crazy shit I probably talked about.
The main guy that I liked this year was Chad S., and I liked him for a pretty long time afterward because we ended up meeting up again late in my senior year (which didn't work a second time around, either. I'm not going to go into detail.) Anyway, i had Chad in my Junior honors English class. Chad was a year older but was taking the class because he didn't take English at CBC. This was so *like* him to just not do something because they didn't feel like it at the time; what I liked about Chad is that he really knew what he wanted.
He didn't want me. He might of... had I have been myself instead of acting like a stupid bimbo around him. Back then I'd never had much luck with guys because in highschool it seems like guys only go for stupid girls. So what does an intelligent girl do? She dumbs herself down!! Shouldn't have done this around Chad, he got annoyed quickly. He was really physically attracted to me, and I REALLY was toward him too, so initially our weird cat and mouse game that we were playing in English worked out. I bugged the shit out of him.
I remember going over to his house once, he basically lived on a farm. His family had all sorts of country decor and heads sticking out from the walls. We really had nothing in common but something about him really enticed me... Needless to say, it hurt pretty bad when he DIDN'T want to be together. At all. In fact he wanted to stay the Hell away from me after awhile because Caitlin D. (his ex girlfriend that played soccer with me) was giving him a ton of shit for showing any interest in me.
The time spent with Chad was actually DURING soccer season, which is when Caitlin was on the same team and probably had to hear me go on and on about how great Chad is. During Basketball season she told all the cheer girls that I was obsessed with him on the bus. Word got back to me and I wanted to kick Caitlin's ass, but ended up just confronting her about it... sort of, really all I said was that I was "disappointed" in her. I really should have said, "Look bitch, keep my name out of your mouth..." but at this point things were such a lost cause with Chad that I didn't care.
I probably did act obsessed. I was just really lonely at the time and didn't know how to handle myself I suppose.
I can't remember if this is before, during or after I liked Chad but I also liked Tyler D. during my Junior year when I was hanging out his friends (Robert, Logan, Skyler). At the time Tyler was an extremely closed book, I probably shouldn't have been as persistent with him... Actually a girl shouldn't EVER be persistent with a guy, I learned this lesson from guys like this. But when you never get pursued and everybody else has boyfriends, sometimes I just tried to do what I thought I had to do.
I was just so lonely in that aspect of my life after having serious boyfriends the previous year. I still must have had some faith in it my junior year at the beginning but after Tyler treated me like shit and Chad didn't work out I threw in the towel for anyone wanting a relationship with me. I stopped caring as much.
Me and Robert's favorite song to sing together, Holy Mountains by SOAD.
Music:
LOTS and LOTS of System of a Down. I REALLY got into them my Junior year with Robert and we used to sing in the car together when we'd hang out, it was so much fun. I wasn't THAT into Metallica at first, but my friends were listening to them all the time so I sort of had to get a taste for it. In time I ended up really into them too.
Confidence:
Pretty good, certainly better than Sophomore year. Getting some playing time in soccer kind of gave me an edge, which ended up being my major downfall in tennis when I got cocky. I didn't really know how to apply makeup back then so my eyes were oftentimes a smudgey mess but at least I knew how to properly spread foundation.
Some fun with me and Robert at the end of my Junior year.
That's it for now, I'm going to make a separate entry for 16, it's going to be a big one!
I'm sort of sore today, probably because of the exercise that I've been doing. I know that I probably drank too much of that protein stuff the last couple days and my body is indicating that I didn't burn all of it off. I need to only do the whey protein once every other day, though I do plan to still work out every day. Maybe I'll cut the half scoop down to a quarter scoop one day, then half scoop the next and see how my body reacts. Too much protein is not good for you, and I'm not used to much because I typically eat hardly any red meat.
It's still pretty early so I figure I'll do my blog before my practice session. I've got my second to last lesson today.
15 Days!!
yahoo.
I'm going to continue my project from yesterday. It still seems pretty nerdy to recap your life thus far on your blog, but I don't really mind.
Age 18, 2009-2010
Year of limbo between highschool and college, and kicking major ass.
This was a big year because it was my senior year and I was juggling taking classes at Ki-Be and CBC, but at the time I couldn't have been more ready. I had my last real year of the "highschool life" my Junior year, and I felt like I'd outgrown it. Sports were still a big part of my senior year, I finished out soccer pretty strong (We finally went to state, then of course lost, but whatever it was a good run) and had an incredible tennis season.
I still did a little of the highschool shit, like here's me and Robert before homecoming or some other formal, I can't remember. I didn't go to prom my senior year because I was way too wrapped up in tennis and figuring out graduation.
I babysat Tori for the little money that I made. I was of course driving back and forth to CBC every day, but because gas prices were lower back then it was a little bit easier to not have a job. It was getting a little awkward for Chad and Carmin as I got older to have me babysit because I was becoming an adult and needed to get an actual job.
Overall:
Looks: I was still wearing Metal T-shirts. Throughout the year as I discovered magibon and cutesy Japanese culture I started incorporating more cute things into my wardrobe, but would usually just wear them to CBC and change into something more dull/comfortable for ki-be. My makeup was still a little cakey and my acne was pretty bad at times but I was getting better.
Work: Babysitting, but more and more rarely. Chad and Carmin weren't working night shifts anymore because Carmin was a manager at a Starbucks. She didn't need me there anymore at night and would only have me when they went on dates. Those were only $10-12 nights and I was getting too old for it when I'd have a test the night morning. I didn't try that hard to find a new job, though. I did end up getting a really good babysitting job during the summer where I was getting paid hundreds each week to watch these two girls from 8-5 pm. They were little manacle bitches though and I had a hard time taking them. That summer I was trying to teach myself guitar with crappy lessons with Neilson and ended up giving up. I thought I'd never learn how to play the guitar.
Friends: Pretty all over the place. This is the year I really started becoming solid friends with Samantha. At first she seemed a little scared/intimidated by me because A) I was two years older than her and B) she saw a picture of me and her boyfriend together from the previous year--which pissed her off. But eventually she came around and we became really close friends.
Katelynn was wrapped up with Zach W. at Hanford, so I rarely saw her. We really only started hanging out once she got back in her Mom's house. We haven't had a hiatus since we started hanging out again back then. At the time that me and Katelynn DID start talking again she was dating Jon A., who I remember taking senior pictures for holding his clarinet. I was just happy she was away from Zach because he has a destructive personality, regardless of being really sweet to people.
Once me and Katelynn started spending more time together we were much closer than we'd ever been as friends. We really started to get eachother more than we ever had.
Katharine and I had become close friends again during the tennis season of my senior year. Katharine took a lot of good pictures of me playing during my first round of state. I gave those girls a hell of a run.
Skills: I ended up setting a record for most consecutive wins at Ki-Be. I felt accomplished with that and never wanted to play tennis again... It's been two years since then and I still don't feel like I'd want to play it. Sports were great but blegh they got old.
Love: Dated that guy James R. for a little while during the winter. This is a guy that Marco M. was best friends with and introduced me too after me and Marco had a falling out. Don't ask how this happened, I'm not sure myself but all I know is that Marco was spending a lot of time with Josie (Josie and I seem to have the same taste in men) and that led me to not talking to him.
James was not like Marco though. Marco was really spontaneous, kind of a chameleon with people, really flirtatious, and a little slow. James was a serious military guy, he REALLY knew what he wanted and completely fell for me immediately. Unfortunately we didn't have the same sense of humor and I got bored quickly, so I had to tell him I couldn't take that he was leaving.
Honestly though, if we HAD grown attached that would have been difficult. I was attracted to James at the time but not as attracted as I was too....
JackJackJackJackJack... Seriously he had me immediately. At the time I had no idea what I was getting myself into emotionally, had I known the amount of time I would end up spending waiting for this person to come around I wouldn't have come over to his brother in law's house that night.
That winter Jack and I started something, we'd hang out at his place or mine at these weird hours and do quirky things like make sushi or... Oh God, that same night he had this idea that we'd go to the Toyota Arena and build snowmen out the snow shavings from the zamboni, it was such a typical "outside the box" Jack idea that was a miserable fail but it was so funny.
This only lasted a couple months; it stopped when he transferred to Central. He'd start talking to me spontaneously over the next couple years but it would all be misleading garbage that confused the shit out of me until I confronted him about it (which was just this summer, actually).
I did date Lane Hammitt for a little while after the second falling out with Chad. They were friends. Lane was sort of dumb, though, we didn't click and I just think I wanted to have a boyfriend to hang around with. It lasted a few weeks. I also dated a Chinese guy for two weeks that Michael Z. introduced me too. It didn't work out, he didn't have anything to say.
Confidence: Not bad, actually I was sort of cocky because I got good grades at CBC and got sort of self important. Little did I know I still had A LOT to learn before I'd knew how to handle myself in college classes. I was so annoying because I'd ask too many irrelevant questions because I thought college classes were like highschool classes where professors WANT student input. Thank God I've changed. Tennis gave me some confidence too, I was just really ready to be out of highschool.
Here's some videos from 2010 when I was that age.
One of the really exciting experiences of 2010 was going to my first GOOD anime convention, Otaku Con 2010.
There's me in the costume was horrendously constricting and uncomfortable. I had a really fun time at the con though and met a lot of good people. This gave me more inspiration to study Japanese the next year at CBC.
Kuro neko con was really fun, I cosplayed on both days and my Grandma made me a really nice lucky star costume. I might even sell that dress on ebay, it's THAT well made and realistic. I remember we spent the night at that nasty hotel and had to SWITCH hotels because we couldn't take anymore. I remember having a lot of extra money that summer. Probably, again, because gas prices were lower and all the extra money.
(well that about wraps up 18, tomorrow I'll do 17 so stay tuned, haha)
Haven't written in ages because I've been really busy with work. Lately I've been working for like, eight or nine hours every day and going to school. I've also been hanging out with some new friends on my off time, so I haven't really been online. It's 11:26-- so it's almost my birthday! It was Katelynn's birthday today, but because I worked all day I didn't even get a chance to wish her a happy birthday until about 20 minutes ago.
I feel sick, I've had a bad cough and a sore throat all day. The sudafed helped some this morning, but by the end of the night I was like.. shit, I'm coughing all over. My voice was horse and raspy. Right now I'm drinking a very light beer that feels great on my throat. Tonight I'm gonna sleep good, so I'm probably going to write until my computer dies and go to bed.
I spend all day on my feet but I need to still watch what I eat because I'm not getting a chance to work out. I'm gonna still try to do pilates whenever I can. I also need to watch-- FOR SURE-- most importantly, how much I study. I haven't had much time lately at all. Tomorrow I need to wake up early and get a few hours of study in, if at all possible. Just work on my math... I'm already falling behind and it sucks. I'm not used to this hecticness, and at 2 weeks in I feel pretty overwhelmed. I'm looking forward to my first real paycheck, and now that I'm getting used to my job it'll get much, much easier.
Check out this picture that Gisselle posted under her "oldies" folder. I tagged myself once I realized I was in it. This was from my sophomore year, which I'm pretty sure was the most awkward, miserable year of my life other than 7th. It was miserable. That was back when lovely Kandyce Alley hated me and went out of her way to make my life a living hell after I pissed her off at the Warped Tour concert. Lovely!
But don't get me wrong, Kandyce isn't even half the reason why that year sucked. Nope, there's TONS more shit that I could go on about. There was a lot of reasons.
-Being in a fight with Katharine,
-Feeling alone,
-Being in a grudge with Haley,
-My awful tennis season of getting destroyed.
-Talking to Jack who ended up calling me for dating advice with rich, beautiful Alice from freakin' Milan. How the fuck could I have competed with that?
-After the Chino relationship, Chino STILL being involved with my life and talking about me all over the place.
-Hardly getting any playing time during soccer season and getting depressed about it.
..The list goes on. Fucking horrible year. That picture literally makes me sick just looking at it. Most of the people that made my life miserable at Ki-Be can rot in hell. Sometimes, it makes me sad looking at pictures like this because though I wouldn't relive highschool again for a million dollars (having accomplished as much as I did with sports, there's no way), I just wish I could of had more friends, went to parties, did things that most highschool kids got to do but didn't because I was pretty much completely alone until my junior year, when I started hanging out with Robert, Skyler, Dylan (somtimes), Logan, and Tyler. My senior year I didn't really give a shit about people because I was going to cbc and trying to get my last hurrah with sports. Didn't actually spend much time at the highschool though.
By the way, figured out what System of a Down lyrics I'm getting as a tattoo..
Dreams are made winding, through my head. Through my head.
It's from the song Spiders. Not actually one of my favorite songs by them, but it's very significant. My entire life, I've over thought things. I'm very much... in my head. There's not a minute that goes by that I'm not thinking of something. It's driven me to the point of practically-- insanity. So I think that's a good tattoo to get. System of a Down itself is the first rock band I ever got into, and continues to be my favorite band to this day. And speaking of highschool, they helped me SURVIVE it. I really got into them my sophomore year when Robert burned me the CDs. I remember listening to them when I was depressed about Chad not liking me as much as I liked him, listening to them to get pumped before games, blaring it in my car, etc... I was actually really into Coheed and Cambria BEFORE learning all of System's stuff, SOAD DID start my love of rock music.
I remember it so clearly. I was in the 7th grade, sitting in the backseat of the old Ford Taurus. We were listening to the same bullshit music on 98.3-- and at that point in my life I thought rap music was the shit, even though I never actually related to any of it. Hypnotise just HAPPENED to come on, and when I heard that beginning guitar line I was immediately in love. Though I'd heard it before, I hadn't realized how much I'd loved it until then. At the time I had a really shitty little mp3 player and downloaded, well, one of the shittier songs by them; though some might not agree, Prison Song. I listened to that in class and realized that I didn't like it much, and sort of forgot about it for awhile. The next year, at a school dance in the 8th grade, the song BYOB came on during a dance, and me and Whitney Diaz were jumping up and down having a freakin blast when a lot of people were sitting on the side because they didn't like the song, but I sure as hell realized that I loved rock, and from that point on I put rap aside. I listen to hip hop on occasion, but very rarely. I can't stand most of it, and probably couldn't stand most of it back then too. I practically lived with just the bullshit on the radio until I was 13.
I guess this is why System is so important to me. Because without them, I really wouldn't of ever gotten into metal, which would of changed my life entirely. I probably would of never had a healthy outlet with my anger problems. Metal music has helped me with that for years because when I'm enraged, it helps me feel not as alone I guess. Maybe I would of started cutting or something as an outlet instead. If I would of never gotten into System, I probably never would of connected with Robert Mosley on anything either. Then I wouldn't have a lot of the great memories I have with him, or any of my other metal head friends. Rock music connected me and Katelynn, too. Without rock, all we would of had as a common interest was anime, and since we both burnt out on that our love of Coheed and Cambria held us together. Never would of gotten into Coheed if I hadn't of been watching Fuse one day (which, that hour was all rock. See how this is all coming together?)
Ha, it's almost 12:30 AM. First half hour of my damn birthday. I can't believe it, I'm no longer a teenager. I can now tell people that I'm TWENTY years old. Granted, it's not drinking age yet, but that's still very scary to me. It's the end of innocence. Yet, I know that great things are ahead. It's time to stop living my life so miserably. Because I realized that literally I've been living the last 20 years of my life unsatisfied and pretty much miserable. You only live once, which with this lovely phobia I had with Wellbutrin I really began to realize, and I want to live my life to the fullest. There's no use being miserable and feeling unfulfilled even if I'm doing all that I can to reach my huge, long term goals.
So I might as well talk a little more about my day. Tonight it was pretty much just me and Linda, and we weren't very busy. I guess a bit busier because of the home game at Hanford, but for the most part, even if our parking lot was completely full, it was slow. I've got that stupid register down, aside from the loopholes in making returns. I've also learned where the cigarettes are located, what 100's are versus shorts, that most people like Paul Maul reds versus the other colors, that most people like Marlboro lights, that Pyramids are cheaper, and only young people around my age get Camel 99's. I've also learned how to deal with tax exempts, and I'm dealing with coupons quick and efficiently. From doing frieght I've also learned about the store's layout, and now can help customers more effectively as well. This is a good success for me because now that work has gotten easier, I don't DREAD going there. I feel more confident, and when work is easier, so will being able to focus more on school.
Linda is cool though, and really helpful. I enjoy working with her more than my other supervisors for the most part. I get very nervous of offending Claudia or her daughter Tammy. Don't get me wrong, they're both very nice and helpful as well, but I feel like when I'm around them I'm on eggshells because I don't want to accidently curse or say something stupid. I'm happy, my cursing has gone down a lot since I started working. I still cuss like a sailor at home, but at work I very rarely do.
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