Wednesday, June 20, 2012

You can't be something your not. Be yourself, by yourself, stay away from me

My ego is so big and I think I'm soooo hot, just like Paris Hilton. Ha ha ha.

Jessika called a couple days ago freaking out and I didn't pick up her phone calls; for obvious reasons, one being I didn't want to deal with a manic girl and second because I was practicing. Last night when I was over at Katelynn's house I realized she'd left a message. Jessika left me a text saying "Did you get my voicemail?" and I listened to a five minute rant from her about how I've made her so upset and frustrated with me. Originally this was happening via text, but I'm sure she realized going into an argument with me via text is debate suicide because I'm much better at making my point via text than speaking.

To avoid any problems with getting my point across when I actually do speak to her, I wrote down all of my rebuttals. I'd post them here but that might be too personal, even for me; well that and I'd want no chance of her finding them. I take on arguments like a politician; quick, effective, direct. She gave me the time to prepare this as well as a RECORDING of how frantic she was acting about this, when really I did nothing to her at all. 

She's trying really hard to make me out like the bad guy that has been making snide comments and accusing her of being something she's not (i.e. "slut"). I've never called her a slut, but I did comment that she flirts a lot.  Because she does, she flirts blatantly with everyone. She told me on the way to Robert's party that she'd want somebody to flirt with, she always has to have that. I'm sorry if my party "Wasn't her crowd" because she didn't have some guy to flirt with and hang all over. She's gross, her reputation IS bad, people DO think she's a slut. I've witnessed how she works, she's ashamed of it, and now she's freaking out on me because she thinks I've discovered the truth about her. No, I've known all along. She's painfully easy to read. 

The honest root of all this is jealousy. The reason that I know this for a fact is that the better I get at the guitar and the more confident I feel about myself, the more cold and "angry" she gets with me. She's acting just as I did towards Katelynn in the 7th grade. That indicates a bad friend that doesn't actually want what's best for me, so I'm going to cut things off when we actually get a chance to talk. I'd like to get my point across though, and she can take it or leave it. 

Yesterday I had a really good day in town with Katelynn. I'm really broke so I probably shouldn't have spent the money to go out to eat. We went to Red Robin and got turkey burgers, this is me and Katelynn's favorite. She also ordered a hummus platter that was really freaking good. I feel like I've been so cheap around her lately with everything but it's because I've been so broke, it's embarrassing. My mom needs to pay me back, she still owes me $260.. that's like my entire last paycheck. My dad paid me back for the tuition money but I need to check and see if it got put into my bank account or what. 

I ended up sleeping on Katelynn's couch. I had anticipated maybe spending more time with Connor but he had to work all night.
I don't want to worry about money... not right this second anyway, it's 9:00 and I've probably got until 11:30 before anyone bothers me. Today's going to be another great day I think, got guitar lessons which is always a nice refresher. Might also be spending a little time at House. We'll see.


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