54. Maybe it's best to leave it at that. :)

Ello.

At the moment I'm sitting here waiting for my favorite workout video to load. I'm gonna start cramming for my Japanese exam here at 6', hard to believe it's already time for another test. I feel fortunate though, my accounting teacher postponed a big chapter 5 and 7 exam for Tuesday, so I have a lot more time to get this material learned. I understand subsidiary entries for the most part, but it's the closing entries that I have problems with. That and distinguishing the different types of accounts. Nobody said this would be easy, and I think I'm doing well for the most part.

Above is the pilates video that I've been doing the past couple days. It's a really tough one, but you can really feel your abs burning when you do it. I can't even get through the entire thing yet, unfortunately, but if I keep it up I think I can tone my abs better than they are already. Seriously though, my body looks awesome.

I just heard my mom come in. Haven't talked to her all day. Well, haven't talked to really anyone all day except for the typical people at school and Heather. No texts or anything today, but that's alright I don't mind. I've got too much to do tonight to be worrying about anything social. I've really become outgoing, and I'd much rather be doing something or have plans to do something than not.

Right now I've got no real plans for this weekend, but I hope I can see Heather at some point. I'm anticipating a lot of work next week, but for the most part Week eight has been painless. And VERY quick, I can't believe how time is flying by.

Oh! Tomorrow is payday. I'm probably not going to make very much money because of how much I spent on Radcon and gasoline, lets just hope I didn't blow everything.... Gas prices keep creeping up again. I'll post my account balance to tomorrow to keep on top of it. I really want to be able to save to $5000 but the way it's looking now I can barely get above $1000 without spending at least a quarter of my paychecks on gasoline. : ( I need to stop going out so much.

I was able to play Parabola by Tool all the way through for the first time at regular speed, though it still needs a lot of work. Lateralus sounds very perfected now.

peace.

Why blogging is therapeutic.

I really don't like all this site at times because of all the glitches. I wrote up a big long thing about radcon but the site logged me out and the draft didn't save. That being said I really don't feel like writing about it again.....

I really don't like this site because it's associated so much with the Google account. I discovered the other day that this stupid site made me a Google + account automatically when I registered, which I really don't appreciate because I don't want to use that site and it's hideous interface. I am really NOT looking forward to the day that computers no longer have a hard drive and all of your websites are interconnected so that if you upload something EVERYONE you know has easy access to it. Really kills any privacy online.

Yes, I could make this blog private and available to NOBODY but then it wouldn't have the same therapeutic properties. In order for blogging online to work you have to feel like you're expressing yourself to *someone*, even if it's the occasional stranger that stumbles upon your page.

Right now I'm at school. I already took my Visual basic test so I don't have to take it today. I really should get going and study some Japanese before my next class. I just really don't want to make bullshit smalltalk with anyone.

peace.

Excitement for RadCon 2012! 52.

Okay, I admit it. I really do like cosplaying and conventions. Ha ha, like this was some big secret.

I'm really excited for dressing up like Tifa Lockhart this year for Radcon! It's sort of a closet cosplay because I decided to do this literally three days ago when I realized that the event was coming around the corner and I really didn't have any time to order anything.

This is actually my first time cosplaying at Radcon. The reason that I didn't really last year is because it's so close to home that I didn't want everyone to know how big of a nerd I was. . . But this year, I am all out cosplaying because I really just don't care what anyone around here thinks of me anymore. I've become much happier with myself, and I've accepted that you know what, I am who I am, nothing I do is going to change that. This self confidence has sort of allowed me to relax and have fun and try to enjoy things for the most part.

People on the Radcon page on facebook seem pretty snippy, saying they're not going to go because of how things have changed and how their ex is going to be there. Like literally, half the posts on the events page said "I'm not going to be there because my ex will be there..." How lame. Though I can't say I'm not going to see one of my ex's there though, there's quite a few guys that I've dated, liked or had some kind of encounter with that I'm bound to see one. But I don't let it stop me from going somewhere. o____o Wait.... fuck hypocricy is setting in. I won't go into details. But he won't be there.

Actually, eh, looking back on it the only guy I can think of that would actually be there would be Jay Weaver who I knew for like a few weeks. I saw him today in the hub, actually. He clearly thinks I'm stupid or something so I didn't say hi. But yeah, I'll probably see him there.

I'm going to meet up with Nate Scott and Abby probably. It's gonna be fun, they were a great time to hang with last year. Abby was dressed as Alice in Wonderland. I'm wondering if she's going to dress up this year. I'm planning on meeting them to buy tickets.

Anyway, my costume is coming along great! I first went to Genx, which is right down the road from CBC and found three of the main items on my list right of the bat. White tank top, mini skirt that's not *too* mini so I don't get kicked out, and even the suspenders. All check! I should of looked around harder instead of bolting to my next location. Actually, I should of bought those damn shoes. They had the boots too, but I decided I'd wait so I didn't have to spend as much money. Well, after searching around the whole damn tri cities for a black pair of gloves and those shoes I probably should of just splurged on the boots.

 I went to Goodwill next, and picked up a pair of black socks that will peek out over the boots for .99 cents. I didn't find any boots that were quite right, so I left and met up with Alex for some coffee at starbucks. I paid for myself and didn't really give him a chance to pay for me if he was planning on it, but he didn't offer either so I decided to just pay and not make it awkward. We sat and chit chatted for a bit, not about anything in particular... He's really not feeling well and was kind of zoning out. He looked super cute though because he was wearing his jacket that he wears when he rides his motorcycle. Errg, he's just a mystery to me, like he doesn't come out about anything and I can never tell when he's annoyed or happy or what. Keeps it pretty interesting.

Anyway, after our quick coffee thing I walked around Fred Meyers and saw Robert like 20 times. Our relationship has gotten weirdly awkward, it's funny I can never think of what to say to him anymore. He's gotten so skinny, it blows me away every time I see him. I mean I know he's not on drugs or anything, at least I'd really, really hope not and I'm pretty sure he'd tell me if he was. He just looks really worn out or something, I can't explain it. He's not on drugs, he's just working a lot I'd assume.

I then went back toward home, and decided to face stupid Wal Mart. Didn't find anything particularily great, aside from these gloves for $12 that were definately the right color but they were almost too nice to cut the fingers off. I'm almost considering going back and buying them, because the gloves that I did settle with...

...Are ones that I got at Target for a dollar. Sort of like these ones but more burnt orange. Anyway, these will cost a lot of money to not look like crap so I decided I'm gonna just go back to Wal Mart (more than likely after work tomorrow) and get the $12 ones. Watch, with my karma they'll be gone.

I did end up scoring a pair of long socks that I cut and will be used as the black sleeves under the orange gloves.

I pieced the costume together tonight and it looked super cute! I can't wait for the con, take lots of pictures. : )

peace.

50. Damn, don't do this now.

I skipped to fifty days because I have been playing every day but not writing nearly every day, but I feel it somewhat necessary to keep as an incentive to keep playing.

So tomorrow is Valentines day! Am I excited? Yes because the Japanese club event that I'm helping host is going to be happening which means a busy, awkward afternoon! I've actually advertised this quite a bit, so hopefully we'll get a good turn out. I'm a pretty good salesperson too; not afraid to talk to people. Today when we were filling the bags I probably gave the date/time of the event to six people that passed by wondering what we were doing.

Ahh, it's events like these that makes me happy I didn't get chosen to be Japanese club president. Because good lord, Betsy has been running around so much to get this thing together. She's done a good job though, and the event should go pretty smoothly tomorrow. I just hope my 50 cent bag idea was a good one though.

I am, however, NOT excited about the fact that Alex has not talked to me ALL day!! >:( And he hasn't mentioned Valentines day at all... granted we've only been hanging out for a week, so I guess it doesn't matter. I'll just lay low. Maybe he'll just total space it and we'll just blow over it. I'll have a lot of fun tomorrow at the event thing, though, so I don't care.

Today in class I tried natto, fermented soy beans, and it made me almost puke and the whole class thought it was hilarious. I'm gonna upload the video here shortly. It was so disgusting, I couldn't even hold them in. I'm sorry Japanese people, but what the Hell.... So, so, sticky weird!!! Okay, okay... Calm down...
In all honesty you guys, I really did want to try Natto and be respectful about it, and even had Hannah take a video so I could give a valid judgement. I figured it'd just be a little stale tasting or bitter, but no you guys. It was the single weirdest thing I've ever tasted. I can't even describe it.

Sensee is so awesome for bringing it though. Now I know what not to order if I ever go to Japan.

My mom just realized we have a ton of leftover fairytale brownies. I think we should freeze them.

peace.

Things are going super well, so I don't tend to write? 45.

Wow, so much to say. I apologize for my hiatus, things have just been very busy this week with school, friends, etc etc....

I just got done playing guitar. I'm working on perfecting Lateralus.I'm excited to be done with that one because that's something I *thought* I learned a long time ago when in reality I was playing the entire thing wrong, horribly. Well, with the playalong software on songsterr it's pretty hard to get away with playing what you *think* sounds right. Anyway, enough about that. So much to tell you.

I met someone recently. Now, I've sort of hinted about this on my facebook, but I haven't come out and told anyone about it yet because my lack of trust in men. And besides, why is it anyone's business what I'm up to in my love life? But I'll write about it in this blog because it's practically a secret.

His name is Alex, he's 25, he's a geologist and lives in a condo in Richland. To be honest with you, there's not much more I could tell you about him, and we've been hanging out for days. He's not really a talker, and doesn't come out to me about much, yet we have an awesome time when we're together, he tells me all the time how beautiful I am, and he's so CUTE. So for him, I am taking my time... like, I want to get to know him without bugging him too much and prying him to open up about things. It's been going pretty well so far, we've hung out a few times since I met him last saturday.

Last saturday was Jessika's party night, and she wanted me to tag along to be her wingman so-to-speak around this guy that she likes... a lot. I mean, Jessika will "like" a guy and then not care about him at all a week later, but she REALLY likes this one. So I figured, what the hell if I've been sick all week lets party. Jessika ended up inviting this guy Alex that she met at the court club in the sauna. Alex apparently CLEARLY dug her, according to all of the texts she was reading to me. So two guys that are into Jessika, Jessika, and me. Sounds like an interesting night.

It WAS interesting, though it had it's ups and downs. We went to a bonfire at Lost Lake first, after meeting up with Rose and her husband. We walked down there and hardly knew anyone aside from Clayne Cox, Wiley Shelton, and Cameron Benitz... Ohh yeah, me and Cameron got along when we knew eachother SO well! Ha ha, but that's years ago, so I figured what the hell nobody should give me any problems. I got bitched at a lot by people because I had a purse with me, but I would laugh and it would be okay. A lot of people that did know me were surprised as hell that I was even there, but when me and Wiley started talking it was actually pretty interesting to catch up. So I stood around and talked to Wiley, Clayne and a couple other people and took a few swigs off this Pendleton Whiskey deliciousness. (No, seriously, that whiskey tastes good in my opinion)

But man, I am such a lightweight because that stuff hit me really hard. I could barely walk in a straight line and suddenly got nervous that when I did meet Alex if I would come off like a dumbass. This paranoia became apparent when I became really quiet practically the rest of the night.

I immediately thought Alex was cute from the get-go, but it was obvious that he wasn't paying attention to me at all. This ticked me off more than I anticipated, especially when I realized he was attrative. I was not expecting him to be cute at all, so I was a mix of anxious and pissed off. So I just drank and sat around watching Jessika, Nathan, Cameron, and the guy Jessika liked play beer pong.

The night went on with no changes really, Jessika got a lot drunker, and I started to sober up. I don't drink very fast because I hate the calories of beer. That being said, though the hard alcohol hit me pretty hard at the beginning by the time we were wrapping it up at 2 AM I was not even buzzed. I was almost completely sober. Jessika on the other hand was wanting to make out with this guy, so they ended up going off into her room and making noise. Both me AND Alex wanted to bail, so he asked if I wanted to catch a ride back with him and stay at his place. I figured why not, even though he very blatantly said to me earlier that he found Jessika super attractive and he didn't find me that was so much because he doesn't like "shy girls." Wow, uhm, yeah what the Hell? Anyway. . . .

Basically, in the long run me and Alex ended up getting some time alone to talk and get to know eachother and ended up hitting it off pretty well. We've seen eachother a couple times since that night and even if I still feel a little irked by the fact that he wasn't nessasarily attracted to me, I'll try to look past it.

We ended up taking Nathan home that night and he talked all the way back. It was funny because me and Alex just sat there quiet the entire time and he went on and on and on. That sort of made me realize why Alex thought I was shy.... I barely said anything that night because I couldn't get a word in.

Anyway, that was my experience with that. Pretty crazy shit last weekend. This week school has been good. Got one of the highest grades in class on one of my accounting tests, got a 102 on my Japanese test, and got a bunch of projects done in visual basic.

Yeah, I'd say things are going very, very well.

44. Valentines Day presents

Though I have too much to do right now to write, I want to document here the favorite colors of people that I'm making Valentines day friendship bracelets for. I am doing this to force myself to practice making them, and thus maybe getting good enough to someday make some really pretty ones. I love these friendship bracelets and wear them all the time.

People I'm making bracelets for:
1. Taylor Morales. Purple, Green and Teal. Done.
She was the first to respond so I made hers first. It looks pretty cute if I do say so myself! She was also the first to like my status on making them.
2. Aki san. Black and White.
I'm actually happy someone choose those two boring colors, hehe. But I'll make this one look really cool.
3. Cece. Black, green and brown.
I DEFINATELY have a ton of brown and green. Looks like a lot of people chose black in their color scheme.
4. Katharine. Aqua, Black, and Purple.
Katharine is a mermaid, haha.
5. Shavonne. Dark purple, green and silver.
6. Alex Bollinger. Purple, green and black.
I think I actually knew this one.
7. Kaitie Cobb. Green, blue and black.
8. Brenna Akers. Purple, blue and yellow.

There are 12 people that I plan on sending one too. I am going to make it a point to get them done on time! But yeah, I'll post the rest of the names/colors later.

peace

43. Hands are shaking.

I played guitar today for three hours. It's been like this for days where I find myself playing for long stretches of time because now that I've gotten a little bit better it's openned up a lot of doors and made it a lot more enjoyable. I've now learned Lonely Day, Hypnotize, Holy Mountains and I'm working on Sad Statue and ADD. I also learned at full speed the solo for Hypnotize, which was something I wanted to play a LONG time ago but never really had the time or skill do so. It still needs work, mainly on the picking, but I've gotten so much better already and it's awesome. : )

So yeah it's 8:00 pm. Today Lindy and I went on a long walk after I got home from school and didn't have much to talk about. Maybe next time we should jog. The weather was actually very nice today, just a slight breeze. Tomorrow is groundhog day which means spring is already on its way! Yippie!

Yesterday I had a Japanese exam, which I have yet to get the results for. I did however get the results for my accounting quiz. 10/10 yippie! But Key hasn't let me give him my homework. Tonight I'm planning on getting the rest of those chapter 3 assignments done and I'm pretty much just gonna leave it on the podium and bail. He's gotta accept it, I'm irritated that I've carried those homework assignments with me for a week now.

Anyway, it's almos 8:30. I'm gonna do homework until 11' and get some shut eye. Me and Heather are gonna hang out on Friday! ..Hopefully. That'd be awesome.

Still no word from Katelynn, and it's wednesday again. Maybe she's just wanting to take a hiatus for awhile. Who knows. : /

peace.