Dynamite start to this month.

I got a crazy amount of stuff done today and for that I'm proud of myself. I got up at around 10 am and uploaded a drawing of Johnell H., her fiance Justin and his daughter that I finished last night. I thought it turned out really good, definitely more realistic then some of my previous work. Yesterday I was very sick so I didn't bother to take a shower and barely got out of bed so getting this early start was nice.

I took a shower after I uploaded the picture and put away all of my drawing junk. I then started the long process of redoing my chapter 3 finance homework yet again to solidify the information in my mind as well as figure out the problems I'd gotten help from Tenerelli on. I was able to get through that pretty smoothly. I took breaks throughout the day to clean... I got my floors mopped, bathroom scrubbed down, and even did the laundry. All of course while watching Family Guy and tending to Marshall's crying every hour or so.

Here's a picture of Marshall and I that I took this morning. His face in this picture cracks me the hell up, he looks so peeved. I captioned it "Here's us not watching the Superbowl!" It was superbowl sunday and the Seahawks lost. Apparently there was a lot of unprofessional bullshit that happened like one of the hawks mooned the crowd and there was a fight that broke out on the field. You can't really blame them though. All that build up and leading almost all of the game by a small margin and then Patriots score in the last quarter to win the game.... But no, I didn't watch it, this was just information that came up on my newsfeed.

This week I have my first finance exam and I've still gotta read the 4th chapter for it. I plan on doing that tomorrow. I also need to submit an essay for my marketing class which I hope to god I didn't somehow miss the deadline for. I wasn't in class on Thursday because I went back to Benton city for a doctor's appointment that turned out to be a complete fail. Again. Apparently these last 3 weeks wasn't enough to get the THC completely out of my system and I tested positive once again.

Luckily though I was actually able to fill a past prescription that had only been half filled last time I was in. So that'll help me get by until I can actually pass a pee test and get the prescription I really need. The longer I'm away from marijuana the less I miss it. But part of me wishes it wasn't off limits to me completely on the days that I feel I "deserve" it for all the hard work I've done. But if I'm smoking during that time how much of that information will I actually retain?

That's why I'm going to continue to stay away from it entirely this month. At the end of the month I plan to once again return to the benton city clinic to take another pee test that'll hopefully come out clean. After two months there shouldn't be any reason it's still in my system. Of course I was semi-confident it'd be out of my system when I went in for an appointment this last Thursday. Ugh. Reminder to self, make an appointment for Wednesday afternoon next time so I don't have to miss my marketing class again. It's only the third week of classes and I've already missed twice. At least I did good on the first exam, 13/15.

I'm getting tired... I'll tty guys later!

peace.

I'm tired of waiting for Kevin Swanson to give a shit hahaha

Hola.

Alright today is Sunday and I've been home practically all weekend. I mean yesterday I must have gone out to go to Fred Meyer for like... I don't know, an hour and then I went to Bradley's house for 20 minutes. Today I spent practically all day studying and practicing my guitar. I got up early enough that I got my playing done by around 2', I think I played approximately 65 minutes.

I started studying pretty early-- like I did my first 20 minute chunk of economics at 10:30 which sort of revved up my brain for the rest of the day. I'm pretty sure I did about 3 solid hours of studying which is all around impressive.

At around 4' I started looking through my phone and noticed the text I'd gotten the other night from an unknown number. I started investigating when I got on facebook and I realized it was Jack. I realize that I had yet again asked him "Who's this?" when he texted me. I always, always delete Jack's number after I get frustrated with him because of the emotional ups and downs with him. He has this tendency to text me out of the blue after not talking for months and act like we're going to spend time together and then... well, not. Or like this last time where he came over and we played guitar together-- sort of, I couldn't improvise what so ever back then but I was really happy to be able to play in front of him.

But yeah when we hung out there was no flirtatiousness between us. This was back in like October. Then around January he started texting me saying we should hang out when I was dating Brendan and at this point I was so fed up with him that I said no. I just felt like he was just going to blow me off again and because I was already dealing with major anxiety and depression that quarter I didn't want to lose this sense of having someone to lean on with Brendan.

The relationship with Brendan of course only lasted what... a week after I returned from winter break? Not long. I'd tried getting ahold of Jack again but by then he had found a different girl that he was interested in. And then Abe started talking to me and I sort of started hanging out with him for awhile.

I don't know, finding someone that fits right with your personality is a huge challenge in life. Jack is someone that has come in and out of my life at random times for six years now (literally, since I was a sophomore in highschool).. and whenever he gets ahold of me now I can't help but just wonder, okay what is your deal now? lol. He apparently finished his last season of lacrosse recently. I'm wondering if he's graduating after this Spring or what. Anyway, we'll see if I get the chance to catch up with him or not, guess it doesn't really matter either way he'll text again in 3 or 4 months guaranteed lmfao

I'm still not even friends with Terry on facebook even if I notice he's on there before class all the time.  He's so wrapped up in what his friends and teammates are doing, drinking, etc.. to seem to want to give any attention to getting to know me at all and it's wearing thin quickly. The only times he seems to get excited about talking to me is when we're talking about his life or I'm helping him get something for economics.

LOL!! I figured it out, Terry's personality is just like Kevin Swanson! He's just too attractive and talented.... completely confident, stubborn as Hell about the validity of his opinions, and seems to be entirely non-conflicted about where he's going in life. Why wouldn't I be attracted to that.

But yeah no word from him all day-- I texted him a couple times throughout the weekend but he barely responded. Terry and I could be done hanging out for awhile. It doesn't matter, we're going to have so many classes together here in the next year I just want to be friends with him and have him respect me. I think I've done a very laid back job attempting to get to know him but if he's not down to actually put in any effort to get to know me why would I bother...?


Alright well it's bed time, this weekend's been slow but I feel recharged for tomorrow.

peace.

Where did my appetite go? And SCHOOL IS TOMORROW.

I saw this last night on family guy and thought this was sooo funny and true.

Yo.

This morning I have work at 12. This means that I'm gonna have to eat lunch in about a half hour so that I'm not starving around 4'. I had special K this morning for breakfast... I'm telling you, anyone that actually goes on the Special K diet is probably starving all the time. Seriously, every time I eat that cereal I feel sort of unsatisfied, and then I feel REALLY unsatisfied in two hours or so.

Speaking of hunger, Wellbutrin really does it's job with making me eat less. I've lost some weight already from taking it, combined with doing pilates. I dropped weight really fast last time I was on it, but that was because it was a combination of the anxiety and lack of eating when I was with Guy with the meds. Now, I actually do eat, but a lot less than I used too. It's not about lack of hunger, because I'm hungry at about the same times every day, but it's more about lack of appetite. Food just... doesn't look as appealing anymore, partially because it doesn't taste as good. Wellbutrin dulls your pleasure sensors, both sexually and when you eat. For some people, they get a LOT of pleasure out of eating, and that's why they have such ravenous appetites. I could be wrong, but I think this is why a lot of obese people seek out magical weight loss pills that will automatically "melt the fat away" without having to change their daily lives of bad eating habits.


I'm a little nervous for work today, I guess because every day i'm expected to ask less questions. Granted, I don't ask too many questions, but now that I haven't worked for a few days I'm going to need a refresher on how to do stuff on the cash register.

"OMG! THERE'S THE CUTEST GUY IN MY SPANISH CLASS EVEREVEREVEREVER!! OWW!!"-My sister. Wow! I guess she's magically healed! She's been sick for days now... and she hogs the TV in the living room with her Kim Kardashian and her food network. Granted, yeah, she's been really sick, but now that she's gotten better I know that the tension is going to come back in the house. I just hope the new meds I'm on can keep me from having angry flare ups at my family. Things have been going good lately, and i'd like to keep it that way. Ugh knock on wood.

So, school is tomorrow. I'm wondering what this year will hold, and who will be in my math 98 class. I wonder this because in my last math class at school (math 96), I met a bunch of people and it set the stage for the craziness that happened this summer. Makes me sort of happy that I am taking math 98, not 97, because there would be a good chance that I'd be with almost the exact same group. Granted, they're fun, but Josh Fischer made it really hard to pay attention (on the days that he WAS there). He's so cute. Probably best that I stay away from him, he has a very serious girlfriend that loves him-- and I'm not a complete bitch. I sort of doubt he's going to be moving on to math 97... I remember how much he was playing catch up at the end of the quarter this last spring.

I'm wondering mainly what people I'm going to meet this year. I met a LOT of people last year in my classes, some of which i'm not in contact with at all. I know that some of my friends that I have now i'll probably lose contact with. I'm sad that Brad isn't going to be in my Japanese class this upcoming quarter. Neither is:
-Mike F., That is unless Leah pulled him into another quarter. I wouldn't be surprised if I did see him in class tomorrow, but he seemed pretty set on not taking it when I talked to him last, prodominantly because he says he doesn't need the credits and that it'd be pointless.
-Marisa M., She is at a university now, and had to take a Japanese placement exam. She was really nice, and it's going to be sad having her gone.
-Chris S. Because he's actually IN Japan right now in the JET program. Very lucky.
-Brad P. Because of the time slot, and wanting to spend time with his kids. I could imagine having it right in the middle of te day would be inconvient for him.
-David Garcia. I don't know why he's not. He seems like he wants too, and said he may or may not be taking it.
-Gladys. She's going to a university too.

So that narrows our class down to the three fangirls, Ashley, Geoff, Leah, the three gamers that sit in the back, Andrew, Hannah, Chris with the guages, Nathanael, Mark, Zach, Jon, Ken, and... I'm pretty sure that's it. I feel like I'm missing a couple people but maybe not. It's going to be a pretty small class, but I'm almost sure that THIS group is going to pretty much stay consistant until the end of the year, except for Hannah who's leaving at the end of fall and me (I'm leaving after Winter, of course).  I already have an idea of who's going to be in the Year 1 classes too. Well, i know a few people that are taking it.

Anyway, I'm gonna get going. Gonna eat lunch and go to work.

yours,
emily