Tuesday, October 25, 2011

My head feels overloaded...

Haven't written in ages because I've been so freakin busy lately I don't have time to sit and write, nor do I have a computer at home to write on... and with the W building computer lab gone, I spend most of my time before Japanese class actually studying.

My writing in this entry is probably going to be really scrambled because I just can't think straight today. I guess it's a combination of stress and studying for hours on end every day...

I don't even fucking know where to begin. This tutoring center computer is annoying because it doesn't have a hand rest and the keyboard is wired to its location, which makes it really awkward to type.

Lets start with my new computer...

Ever since Mom returned the old #55 laptop to the highschool to get "Updated," my sister hoarded the only other computer and we got in constant fights about it. It got so bad that I went out and bought my own computer after my second paycheck (had about $600 in the bank, why the fuck not). Shawn Griffith convinced me when he told me that his "emachines" laptop only costed $200 and runs the sims 2 and all his music perfectly. My goal was then to find a computer similar to his-- not too flashy, doesn't have a lot of the extra garbage that makes computers more expensive. Cheap. Easy. Runs.

I went to Wal Mart and ended up finding a desktop computer that was only $320.00. One of the guy's that works in the electronics recommended it to me because he has one and said it was highspeed and has a TON of memory. However, the $320 bought everything you needed except for the screen. Not wanting to spend another $100, I drove home to see if I could possibly plug in the old screen from the shitty desktop Dell computer into the new one. I took a picture of the plug in (very standard, apparently) and drove back to wal mart.

When I got back to the electronics department, the original guy that recommended the computer to me was gone, and the only people at the front were this crack head looking woman and a man missing a front tooth. I couldn't tell which one I should ask if the port would match. I walked up and asked, "I need to talk to someone who knows a lot about computers." The man was preoccupied with dealing with someone with a $1300 purchase who wanted to void everything. He said to me, "That would probably be me, but I'm busy." They gave me NO direction what so ever. I just said fuck it and brought up the PC that I wanted to see if they would open it for me so I can look at the port.

They refused to open the box, and the toothless man walks over and pretty much snarles at me, "Yeah that one'll work..." [talking about desktop computer screen that I hadn't even shown him a picture of yet]. I argued, "Let me just show you a picture, please, so we can make sure." And then he barked back, "Well I can SHOW you what the cord looks like quicker than you can get that up on your phone." So, SO rude. Here I am, trying to make a $300 purchase and they're treating me like I'm an inconvience. Finally, he ended up seeing the picture, I bought the computer, and headed toward the front door to get the fudge out of there.

When I was almost out of the door, one of the front greeter ladies stops me to see my reciept. No problem, I thought, I had the reciept right there in my hand. She looks at it and shakes her head. She tells me, "Don't buy one of those computers, they're just awful. I had one and it crashed on me in a year." I was pretty concerned, and wondering if I should take it back. She starts telling me some story about how bad this computer ran and how her son built her a new one. I then asked her, "Was it the exact same computer?" and she responds, "No. Not the same. This was a long time ago."

So the whole story she told me about *this* computer was about some damn early 2000's emachine that she got a long time ago. So again, Wal Mart, you almost lost a $300 purchase. I intend on writing the company and maybe getting some free stuff out of this. I can't believe that garbage. Granted, I wouldn't want to get any of the employees fired or "trained" by mentioning names. I actually appreciate the elderly greeter lady giving me a warning, but it's irrelevant if they're not even the same computers. . . .

Anyway, the computer ended up running fine. I downloaded the sims with no problems. I am now very happy that I get to play the game that I've wanted to play for months now.

Now about math...

I've been working my ass off in math lately. I've been practically living in the tutoring center during any off work time to study this garbage Math 98 is throwing at me. It's gotten really hard, and Lambert is a terrible teacher, and nobody in my class understands what the hell is going on. I continue to get lost, and it sucks. Every day is a new day of at first understanding and then getting very confused as we get more in-depth into the chapter. I came into the tutoring center today to study math but I didn't get any significant help. The cute tall guy with brown hair tried helping me but all he really did was do the problem without really explaining how he got from one point to the next. That's really helpful, ugh. I'm just planning on sitting down at home and looking at it later. Maybe some time away from schoolwork will help me later.

I've been studying hard in Japanese too. This morning we had a vocab test and again, I managed to ace it with flash cards and rigorous study in the morning. I show up to school an hour and a half early to study out in the hall and I made up flash cards a couple days ago and I've been looking at them periodically as well. Japanese is no longer that fun, but my speaking and reading is getting SO much better so it's worth it. Like literally, I can now form basic present and past tense sentences (as well as "doing currently" or te-form sentences) almost effortlessly. It's exciting, my work is starting to pay off. Though I've been going back and forth a lot if I want to take Japanese V, I think I should continue and get as much out of this that I can.

That reminds me. I finally got first dibs on class registration. I registered yesterday morning, and got all the classes I need. I'm taking a full course load, though I don't technically *have to* to graduate. My parents want me to take an accounting course so I can see if I'd be any good at it or not.

So I'm taking Accounting 201 with Key at 8 AM, then Visual Basic at 9 AM, then Japanese at 11:30-12:30. And that's every day, no more of this 2 day a week class crap. I'm not planning on doing that again, anyway. It's going to be a LOT of work, but luckily they cut my hours back at work so I'll be able to do it. School is stressful, but when I get down about it I just think of how miserable I get when I have NO stress. Stress for me is good, it keeps my mind off of other things like my many anxieties.

So lastly, I think I should mention this...

I don't know if I've mentioned already that me and Ryan have been hanging out, but we have. For a few days it was like, every day we were together. We haven't hung out since a few nights ago when he called me drunk at 2 am and wanted to come over to my house when I was in bed, had my makeup off, hadn't looked good that day anyway, and I refused to go out and see him. He had been with Troy that night and I know damn well they were intoxicated.
I am sort of on the fence about this whole thing. I like Ryan-- he's really fun to be around, hilarious, my parents like him and I'd actually be able to hang out with him without them getting on my case, etc... But honestly, the fact that he's friends with Jack makes me sort of sick. I hate hearing about Jack at ALL, and Troy brings him up every so often and I have to try REALLY hard to not be negative. I never, ever, ever want to see or hear about Jack or Jessica Small again. They're the only people in the world that I know that I sincerely hate. I hate them more than I ever hated anyone who I *thought* I hated at the time-- like Nikki for instance. I don't hate Nikki, and never did. I was annoyed by her, but I didn't know the true meaning of hate until now.

That being said, the fact that Jack is Ryan's friend is a problem-- though not a huge problem because Jack doesn't come around often enough for it to make a difference. So, I'm just gonna play it by ear. More than likely nothing will end up working out like always and I have nothing to worry about! Lol, it cracks me up that I have zero trust or expectations for anyone's supposid interest in me anymore.

Alright, this is getting pretty negative. I should probably head home. I don't want to be at school at all anymore.


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