Venus Palermo, an interesting character I discovered on My Strange Addiction last night.

She's a 16 year old "Living Doll" from Switzerland living in England, pretty much the new Queen of Lolita style on Youtube. She's really talented and dedicated to what she does. She spends long hours working on her videos and practicing Japanese and I think she has a very good chance of being successful model or actress in Japan someday. The episode gives you a very interesting look inside her life. But she's a diamond in one of thousands of girls like this:

Emily, another lolita fashion lover featured on the episode. She's very dedicated to what she does and likes to dress and wear her makeup like this anytime she can. Problems obviously arrive when she's trying to spend time around her family and they're criticizing her and she's unable to get a job because society doesn't accept this. That's the reality of this style of 99.9% of girls that try to be a "living doll." I do wish the best for Emily though. In the episode she seems really insecure and just wants to escape which I can relate too, I was a lot like Emily back in like 2010. 

So yeah I was super excited to find their third and fourth seasons available on Amazon for $1.99.. I bought the "I'm a living doll episode" and another episode called "Proud to be Plastic" about this woman that's gotten massive plastic surgeries...

Yeah soo... Let that first little paragraph be a representation of how productive I was yesterday.

Yesterday I had horrrible body aches, felt unmotivated to do anything and felt really lonely/on the verge of tears. A good majority of the day I spent sleeping, the rest was eating, cleaning my kitchen, practiced about an hour of guitar and had a good lesson with Jake (but right after that practicing ceased for the night.....), and read about half an econ chapter. So really I only had a couple productive hours yesterday and the rest was either spent sleeping or sitting on my ass because I felt so drained. 

PMS sucks. 

Here's living bombshell Lacey Wildd and her hilariously humongous tits. If I haven't already convinced you to go check out this series I'll convince you to at least buy this episode "Proud to be Plastic" to see what this bitch can do with a flashlight.

Anyway today is going to be a much better day because it's Friday and I'm going to see Ryan! I'm hoping we're going to go out tonight, I want to go to the 301 and dance. 

I'm also planning to get some schoolwork and practicing done before this evening as well. Gotta get more done than yesterday.

peace. 

I've been spoiling myself, really.

New video I posted today about shopping from ebay. Funny, I've been over the anime/cosplay subculture for a year now but my videos are still talking about it on youtube. 

I went to the mall today and saw a lot of people from school, like David, Kotey, Austin... Those guys are starting to look a lot older, it's surprising, I just remember us all so vividly being in grade school and now they're starting to really find themselves as adults. Or not, they're just goofballs, but they're starting to look older, definately! David has really pretty eyes, he looks handsome with his short hair. He's going to do fine finding girlfriends and stuff.

Michael and I had a really nice chat, walked around and looked in Hollister and other shops but I didn't see anything that stood out to me as being worth $25. I love thrift stores, and I love that Hipsters are in right now because it makes it easier to be a thrifty person. There's no shame in it, if it's prewashed and good quality there's no reason why you can't wear second hand clothes. Of course some things like bras and underwear probably should be new. 

I had my guitar lesson today that was over an hour long. Jacob taught me a LOT in this lesson, but the number one thing was we finally got my hand and arm positioned correctly for playing. He pinned my forearm to the body of the guitar momentarily to make a point. Now every time I play I am reminded of this and have to keep that adjustment, but it's difficult because I'm so used to moving my arm almost freely and picking more from my elbow, it's a very bad habit. I'm going to practice it, though, like anything else and hopefully break this habit.

I'm supposed to do all my playing through my wrist. It's difficult to get correctly, this has taken me four and a half months now. 

He's also given me advice on other things, like that confidence and self worth is really the only thing that matters, especially in appealing to the opposite sex. He also told me that people will tell you what they want you want to know if you ask them. If you ask them how things are going with their boyfriend/girlfriend, they will tell you. It sounds simple but it's something that a lot of us don't do when we're hesitant in meeting a person and though it's good not to be too forward but it really is better to ask someone straight out than not and get confused when things don't work out. 

I should work out tonight, I feel like even if I've been working out pretty often again I'm still eating out too much and ruining my diet. My mom made some ground beef-noodle-"season in the box" dish tonight that was alright, definitely hot so that was nice. Those things contain way too much sodium though and taste/look disgusting just hours after you make it. Makes you wonder what's really in it. Don't get me wrong, they don't taste too bad.

Tomorrow I'm probably just gonna relax and hang out, probably study. I'm not going to go out because I already spent $20 today on a MAC mascara and I'm not planning to spend again until I get paid on Thursday. Not having my lesson on Wednesday is nice, Wednesday had become sort of a hectic day when I was hanging out with Samantha after almost every lesson. Now I can really get refreshed before my work weekend. He he he, only three more weeks to go you guys! 

peace. 

18. Wind keeps me up.

Not because it scares me but because I love the sound of it. It makes the mood a lot more interesting.

Todays been slow, but productive. My sweets consumption has been lowered, at least somewhat. It's still pretty bad though, the holidays make it so hard to stay away from chocolate. You guys know me, I love chocolate. So yummy, delicious.. but bad for you, so I've been exercising a lot too. That being said I haven't really gained any weight, in fact my mom says I look pretty thin, but I still feel gross if I eat too much chocolate or whatever other sweet things are around. It's hard for me to go into the kitchen without grabbing a little 3 Muskateers bite (those little tiny 3 Muskateers bite sized that usually come around the holidays. About the size of 1/8th of a bar). Guess it's not the worst thing I could be munching on if I only have one or two, but still. Way more than I eat during the spring or summer.

That planner worked wonders for me today. I wrote out everything that I needed to do, and got it all done. I have to say, I've been getting a lot better at the guitar. I have Hypnotise completely 100% down, aside from that stupid chord transition during the bridge. I'm working on Holy Mountains right now. The only unfortunate thing about SOAD is that their tuning is really specific, and it makes me nervous when I switch back and forth between this Drop C weirdness to Drop D for Rammstein. I only have five strings on my guitar right now... my littlest one broke when I was tuning-- AGAIN. Ugh. It snapped really hard and hurt my hand. Its been like that for a week but I very rarely have to use that small string so I don't worry about it too much.

My mom actually overheard me playing tonight and flipped out because she said it actually sounded really good! That's huge for me.

When I get paid I'll get a new string, among other things that I really need to buy. Like my Visual Basic book from Delaney. School is coming up so quickly!

I studied a little Japanese today, reviewed. I remember a lot more than I expected, especially grammar wise. It's starting to come semi naturally to me now. I really need to work on my katakana packet tomorrow. That'll be my goal, really make an effort to study five out of the next six days before school starts.

Madoka Kugimiya from Negima!
Student Number 11: Madoka Kugimiya (釘宮 円, Kugimiya Madoka) Birthday: 3 March 1989. She is the serious one of the three cheerleaders in the class. She makes sure that the other cheerleaders (especially Sakurako) do not get into any trouble. She likes gyūdon and silver accessories and generally into Western music (currently is a fan of Avril Lavigne from notes), but hates playboys and is mildly obsessed with her husky voice

I've found that another sort of fun way to study my Japanese is, as clique as this sounds, watch anime.

This actually works because I can semi understand the grammar now and it helps me remember old vocabulary.

I'm really excited that I might be going to Sakura con this year! I think it would be really fun if I got a group together that was really into the cosplaying aspect of it. Maybe do a Sailor Moon group or something. Fun fun fun. . . But expensive, I should have enough by then though.

This morning I got called into work at 7:30 and I was there at 9'. Worked til 2'. Quick and easy shift, and I look forward to getting paid in 24 hours.

yours

Emily