You nerds out there that read this blog are going to love this.

On right...

Excuse my language but f&^*ing Terry S... lol, who's not even on my facebook friends list today, finally asked for my number. I'd deleted his number because he didn't save my seat in lab, I was pissed off. We did not text eachother for four weeks, and after awhile it became more of an experiment whether or not we'd ever talk outside of class again. 

After the long and... mediocre-difficult Stats test..Man Sipic looked good today up there reading his book... lol he's so intelligent you can tell he's trying to make it look like he's not looking for cheaters but in actuality you know he's using his peripherals. He's from a Slavic country, they encourage cheating and you know he could suspect a clumsy American cheater immediately. I have to admit, I was a little disappointed when he cut off most of his hair recently. I thought his long hair gave him the mad scientist-y look. POINT BEING: I REALLY REALLY REALLY hope I did well on this stats test. lol 

..Terry looked up at me and said "Hey, you want to study for econ tonight?" which was pretty ballsy because the room was dead silent during a test. I'm like "Yeah..." so I sat down and he's like sitting there scrambling looking for a piece of paper. I actually took a flash card from econ out of my pencil bag and wrote my phone number on an index card. 

I gave him some shit because he told me that he didn't have my number in the first place. Huhhh sooooo... in those 6 weeks of talking and three or four times seeing eachother you never added my number to your contacts? A-HA touche!!! I NEVER ADDED YOURS EITHER.

But I did delete all my text messages... thus deleting his number... and kind of forced myself to not talk to him for awhile. Sometimes he can act like a real dick so I can't tell if he likes me or what. He did ask me via text if I thought he was attractive.. I'm like...are you serious? Lol seriously he could get with any girl he wants I'd think, which is why I don't take half of his kind of half flirtatious passes at me that seriously. 

I think the closest he's ever come to asking me out on a date in person is when we were studying together and he told me that if I was right about a question being on an exam the next day that he would buy me a beer. This was 5 weeks ago. As you all can see, whatever this is has moved at a snails pace but surprisingly we're studying today. DUN DUN DUN.

But yeah today via text I told Terry about how he's my rival!! Ha ha, he of course didn't seem to get it. He's like "Wait so you don't find me attractive? Idk you compared me to pokemon." Like he didn't get the reference what-so-ever!! But he knows what rival means and he understands how being competitive has helped us this quarter so we intend to benefit from eachother in the future.

Also, YES, the Finance specialization is seperate from the Supply Chain management specialization. Me and Terry are the only two people in my economics class doing this particular specialization, which makes things more fun and competitive. Ha ha ha our last quarter will be the "Elite Four". Lol I'm thinking of my credit sheet as getting a certain number of badges. I'm such a nerd you guys, I could never tell Terry about the extent that my mind just took this. 

oh!! And tests are like battles. So every time Terry does better than me on a test I feel like I lost a battle. So now when I'm studying it's like I'm training my brain... as if it was a pokemon. 

I am the f'ing weirdest person you guys, I'm so sorry. Again, if any of you know who Terry or Jack or anyone I mention in this blog is please do not tell them about this page, I'd have to switch blogs to something more secluded and that would stink because it'd be like starting all over again. I'm hoping that if either of them ever do find these blogs... or anyone else for that matter, that they just don't tell me about it. My opinions about someone often change, sometimes I'll be frustrated with someone and other times I could care less.

Anyway

Check this out.

That's how many credits I have under my belt now, 69% isn't that sick?! Next quarter I'm taking Introductory Financial Management which will probably be one of the hardest classes I take here because it's the groundwork for everything to anticipate in the future. I'm also taking Money and Banking with Carbaugh. I just love the framework of his classes and how he's so annoyingly repetitive that there's NO EXCUSE not to learn it. He initiates the class too, which is sort of silly at times but he's really jovial so it just cracks people up and puts us all in a good mood even though to most of us we're studying very dry material.

Alright time to play some guitar.

peace. 

Learning more about the system.

Haven't much felt like writing.

Today I didn't have the best luck. I woke up with no plans and ended the day with no plans, which is never a good day on a Saturday. I did get some studying done and practiced for about an hour. Not great but my hands needed a break today.

Allie told me she wanted to come with me grocery shopping today when I told her what I had planned. Not particularly exciting. She told me she'd let me know when she was done at the gym and we'd go. Well around 6:00 she got back and took a shower and didn't feel like going. Ha ha I'm not surprised, who the hell would want to walk around a grocery store in circles with me when they just worked out for two hours? I was flattered that she wanted to go in the first place, so I used it as an excuse to sit around and watch documentaries about drugs all day.

That sort of creeped me out. I learned about some really scary drugs in Russia and Columbia. Heroin, meth, crack cocaine, painkillers, broken families... All things I'm going to avoid thinking about for the next few days. Drugs create such a horrible reality for people and destroy everything. I made a promiss to myself early on that those types of drugs are completely out of the question. I would never, ever try any of them. I am fortunate enough that I don't have any need to escape reality. I look at the horrible circumstances these poor people involved with drug using families go through and I can see how they turn to drugs themselves. It's a horrible cycle in the predominantly lower castes of society but alcoholism and drug use certainly destroys middle and upper class people's lives too.

I don't know. I live my life with thought, caution and discipline to keep myself safe. I would never think to use a substance that could potentially jeopardize my wellbeing. Loving your life and yourself means using restraint and discipline to become the best person you can be. Now I'm not saying people should work 24/7 to be better than everyone around them but work their best to fulfill whatever it is they feel a need to do in life. Nobody aspires to be a junky. It's sad to say not everyone starts life with a realistic goal and end up falling into the wrong crowd of people.

I'm so lucky to have the parents that I did. So many of these poor people on Intervention had such awful upbringing. You cannot be a meth head and raise a child, there's just no way. Even if a parent cares about the children the constant pursuit of drugs doesn't leave much room for the love, attention and care their child needs. These children often get molested because of the inattentiveness of parents or end up using drugs themselves at ages as young as 12. Babies in drug addicted communities born addicted to crack or opiates. It's disgusting and sad.

But yeah I'm going to work out and go to bed. It's getting late. I really hope I get the opportunity to see a friend tomorrow because I felt really lonely today. I did call Katelynn today which was nice! I had a lot to talk about and just went on and on.

I really shouldn't complain because I've had a good last couple of days though. This was taken at a party that Allie invited me to come too. I've met Allie's roommates as well as her some of her close friends at CWU now. This picture might be taken of me and Allie but for most of the party I was standing around drinking my hard apple cider with those 3 rednecks standing behind us. Nah, they weren't bad rednecks, they were actually pretty funny and interesting to talk too.

I can remember one of them's name was Taylor and I was talking to him for longer than the others. I wasn't particularly interested in any of the guys there. I just like to drink my beer and get into conversations, get to know people, and watch the interesting bullshit unfold around me as people get more drunk. 

The few minutes that I did walk away from these guys I stood over by the sink and briefly talked to Allie's roommate's.... I want to say boyfriend, though it's not facebook official so I do not know if they just party together or what. It seems like that's kind of what college "relationships" are like. Nobody actually wants to tie down with anyone unless they find someone absolutely perfect because they want to keep their options open in case they DO find that person. So instead of actually dating people just find their favorite person to hook up, drink and party with. I get it now. 

And I guess some people just hook up with someone new every week at parties. That to me is kind of gross.  Last night there was one girl who was completely out of control. She was so wasted and actually grabbed the tall guy standing directly behind me's crotch. It was so bad, one of the guys paid this girl $5 to do it. After she did she kept following him around the room trying to grind on him. Note that she was kind of big, with skin tight clothes and f**ked up makeup. Just a complete trainwreck. 

It makes me sad to imagine how people get this way. So hopeless that they have to make themselves completely wasted to feel comfortable in their own skin. That's what it comes down too. Ugh, here I go talking about substance abuse again. I feel bad for poor Abe, he texts me today and we're making light conversation about the party and then all of a sudden I go into talking about how drugs are so terrible and blah dee blah.

Anyway Allie's roommate cut between this guy and I, and kept on eyeballing me all night. I mean I can understand why. She doesn't know me, I could be a complete bitch who likes to ruin things for people. There's a lot of girls that would take advantage of a situation if they're given the chance to snatch a guy from someone else. I just don't feel right about that. I just like meeting and talking to people; I was not interested in her boyfriend what so ever. But feeling as though I had intimidated someone made me feel a little empowered. It's become very effortless for me to talk to strangers, which will benefit me immensely in my professional life.

peace. 

Where did my interest in learning japanese go?

Yet another test today. Yesterday was in math, which I'm pretty sure I failed and I've been depressed about it, and today is biology. I'm having a good feeling about this one, but I'm gonna have to start studying for it here shortly.

Yesterday I had Patrick, Louie, Seth and Dru over and I made dinner and we all hung out for awhile. We swam over at the Richland public pool, and it really cheered me up after that test and feeling like a failure. I was immediately discouraged yesterday because I got word that CBC now REQUIRES you to pass math 95 even if you've passed 96, 97 and 98.. So yeah, CBC, you've pissed me off again.


I've lost a lot of interest in the Japanese thing, again. It sucks because I have invested a year of my life into learning it and now I feel like whenever I'm trying to study Japanese that it's pointless for me and that I look like an idiot. It'd be so sexy if I knew French, or German, or even Russian-- but with Japanese I just feel like I look like another stupid weeaboo. I don't know where my interest went this summer.. it's sad. I don't even think I want to go to Japan anymore. Maybe I should watch Magibon and get my interest back.. Maybe. Though she's not really my idol anymore. I am not idolizing anyone, and I'm just trying to make myself look hot by regular American standards. Because though Magibon is white and I wanted to look like her, Magibon was trying to look Asian. So my mom and sister would make fun of me, and it pissed me off.

I haven't really studied all summer because of no ambition too, and I feel a little guilty about it every day.

Tonight I might be driving to Hermiston to go party. Though awhile back I decided I would stay away from this person because of information that has been given to me, I now realize that the SOURCE of that information might be bias. I'm just going to have fun, I'm not emotionally involved or anything. If I get up there without my car taking a shit, it'll be a good night.

I'm pretty sure Nuveou decided not to hire me because Giselle talked to me on facebook and said that they've been hiring a lot of... other people, but she said she's going to talk to them about me. I'm going to give them a call today and ask if there are any updates on the position, but I'm not crossing my fingers or anything. Guess they're just like everyone else-- She doesn't have experience, so we're not going to give her a chance.

yours,
Emily