Where did my interest in learning japanese go?

Yet another test today. Yesterday was in math, which I'm pretty sure I failed and I've been depressed about it, and today is biology. I'm having a good feeling about this one, but I'm gonna have to start studying for it here shortly.

Yesterday I had Patrick, Louie, Seth and Dru over and I made dinner and we all hung out for awhile. We swam over at the Richland public pool, and it really cheered me up after that test and feeling like a failure. I was immediately discouraged yesterday because I got word that CBC now REQUIRES you to pass math 95 even if you've passed 96, 97 and 98.. So yeah, CBC, you've pissed me off again.


I've lost a lot of interest in the Japanese thing, again. It sucks because I have invested a year of my life into learning it and now I feel like whenever I'm trying to study Japanese that it's pointless for me and that I look like an idiot. It'd be so sexy if I knew French, or German, or even Russian-- but with Japanese I just feel like I look like another stupid weeaboo. I don't know where my interest went this summer.. it's sad. I don't even think I want to go to Japan anymore. Maybe I should watch Magibon and get my interest back.. Maybe. Though she's not really my idol anymore. I am not idolizing anyone, and I'm just trying to make myself look hot by regular American standards. Because though Magibon is white and I wanted to look like her, Magibon was trying to look Asian. So my mom and sister would make fun of me, and it pissed me off.

I haven't really studied all summer because of no ambition too, and I feel a little guilty about it every day.

Tonight I might be driving to Hermiston to go party. Though awhile back I decided I would stay away from this person because of information that has been given to me, I now realize that the SOURCE of that information might be bias. I'm just going to have fun, I'm not emotionally involved or anything. If I get up there without my car taking a shit, it'll be a good night.

I'm pretty sure Nuveou decided not to hire me because Giselle talked to me on facebook and said that they've been hiring a lot of... other people, but she said she's going to talk to them about me. I'm going to give them a call today and ask if there are any updates on the position, but I'm not crossing my fingers or anything. Guess they're just like everyone else-- She doesn't have experience, so we're not going to give her a chance.

yours,
Emily

Planning weeks ahead of time to keep on top of things.

I'm at school right now in the computer lab and I'm happy to say I've just completed two lab reports-- now I don't have to worry about it later, woohoo.



I'm starving! I packed a lunch of two onigiri and some salad, which is sitting out in my thermobag in the hallway. I packed this because I can avoid getting any food from the vending machine. Not that I could even if I wanted too, I'm bone broke. Hell, I'm concerned I've cut into the credit line already. And I'm not spending any damn money until I get my first paycheck from whatever job I end up getting-- which could be in weeks. It's going to take a lot of strength to not spend this money that I don't have. It's a humbling experience being broke... But my car is filled with gasoline that my mom got me me and I can survive on food at home. This will probably be healthier for me anyway, eating out is expensive and bad for ya.

Not saying that white rice is any good for you, but considering that I'm going to be starving by the time I eat it, it's got a pretty low calorie yield in comparison to a cheeseburger or something. The kitchen at home is still a wreck, even if I did most of the dishes and whiped up a bit. It's still pretty messed up... My mom isn't gonna be thrilled when she gets home. At least I made an attempt to clean before I left.

Tonight my plan is to get one of the two sections of my math homework done, and I'll get the other part done on Tuesday. I have a math chapter test coming up here on August 2nd, as well as a lot of homework that's due this upcoming saturday. I also cannot afford to miss Quiz 4 on Thursday so I need to have that at the back of my mind. I just wrote it down in my schedule, and I'm going to have to keep on top of this every day this week.

Luckily, without much money and partying, it is easy to stay focused on school because I'm trying to keep myself busy.

I have a job interview coming up and when they ask me about my availability I'll have to mention the test on Tuesday and how I occasionally have math tests (every couple weeks) as well as my Biology class hours. Apparently they are looking for people for nights and weekends. Weekends I can do no problem, but I'm busy on Monday and Wednesday night which might mess up my chances of getting the job. Ashlyn put in a good word for me to get the interview, and I am very thankful that she did.

I mean, even if I don't get this job, it's still really nice of Ashlyn to do. I really, REALLY do hope I get this job though and I'm going to get together with Katelynn to practice for the interview at some point. It'd be great to get some income. I'm tired of feeling like a homeless person begging my parents for money.. It's the pits, especially when my sister is earning money and I'm not.

yours,
Emily