Remember when I was so strange and likeable.

Sigh...

I'm sitting here in the living room at Carmin and Chad's. I watched Tori this evening, who was super well behaved. I was texted right after I got out of work. They should be pulling in here any minute but you know how it goes; I told them they could stay out as long as they want.

It was incredible to watch Tori today. She's gotten so much bigger and she looks adorable, I love her very much. It tripped me out because I watched her so many times as a baby and then to not see her for a year.. She's got her own little personality! She's so cute and bright, it makes me actually look forward to having kids someday.

As expected, I'm suddenly in contact with Jack again, what a huge surprise. He's not going to be moving back to the tri cities this summer though so I don't see us spending any time together. I've been sort of bitchy at him, honestly. I just find it almost impossible not too after my angst and frustration toward him in the past. At least we're on a communication basis to where I'm not trying to avoid him anymore.

Because I guess you could say the reality of Western is setting in with my whole family, and I just don't think it's in the cards for me. It's 8 hours away, which is a long ass drive that I don't know my car can handle. I probably couldn't transfer my job because its in an entirely different district. I could potentially feel quite isolated there, and the depressing weather doesn't help. Speaking of which, I JUST got over my depression, making the Western situation seem so overwhelming...

Central really is the best option. I know this, and I've known it all along but I was so worried about not having my own experience because the fear of Katharine "showing me the ropes" and not being able to figure things out on my own. Well, Katharine is leaving down to LA soon and if I ever need some advice on how Central works she'd be a great person to call, and I can still have my own experience even if I do know some people there. My Dad knows a lot of people in the business department at Central. I'd be majoring in business administration with a specialization in Human Resources.

I wanted to go to Western when I was so desperate to get away from everyone, but I've realized that maybe I don't want to leave Katelynn, Samantha... these people in my life in the tri-cities that I love so much. Granted, yeah I'm not going to be around nearly as much but going to Central will allow me to return home for the holidays when Western probably wouldn't of. Driving over the pass is dangerous as Hell, so scary.

This is a brief reminder to myself that I got a video request. I'll probably do it in one of my cosplay wigs. I've got four days to do this:

Cosplay Interview Questions

How would you define cosplay?

What factors led you to start cosplaying?

When and where did you first cosplay? What was your first costume? How did others react? Was it a positive or negative experience? How old were you?

How have you changed since you started cosplaying?

How do you obtain costumes? Do you make them? Buy them? Alter?

What do you understand as understood rules of cosplaying?

How do you feel about other cosplayers?

Who do you look up in cosplay? Why?

Do your friends cosplay? How do those you know react to your hobby?

How do you feel about cosplaying? Is it a social taboo?

What has been your best experience with cosplay? Your worst?

How many costumes do you have?

Do you prefer doing costumes by yourself or in a group?

Do you have any other interests/hobbies?

How do you think people who don’t cosplay view cosplay?

It's for Khillian, she's doing a school project. Great excuse to make a video.

It's 12:00 am. I'm getting tired. I should probably try to get a little shut eye before they get home.. I've got work tomorrow but I feel restless. My head is just swimming right now.

peace.

Even if I experience it, not believe I did it? xD

My mind works in funny ways.

It's Saturday, 9:00 pm... haven't got an idea what anyone is doing tonight, nor do I *really* care,  though if someone did bring it up I can't say I wouldn't go out. I saw Josh a couple times at work today and he insisted I swing by his house after work but he couldn't guarentee he'd be there because he had to run his nephew home or something. I don't really know, but he wasn't home, which made me look creepy to his mom who was outside watering the plants. He's going out of town tomorrow. Errk, he's busy like I am, so I don't want it to seem like I'm coming onto him too hard or something. Idk, best lay low for awhile. I am really starting to like him though. He's chill, really easy to talk too.. likes the same kind of music as me, huge plus.. doesn't take himself too seriously but isn't insecure. Also major plus. Meep.

Alright so guitar! Fourth day of this bootcamp schedule and going strong. I almost find it hard to believe that I've already gotten in two hours of solid playing today. I measure this by setting a stopwatch online.

This is what the stopwatch looks like. It's so ugly I can't help but love it.

http://www.online-stopwatch.com/world-games-running/

I also usually have a songsterr tab up as well as a metronome. I've yet to figure out exactly the proper way to use a metronome, but I've been doing the picking exercises for 80 minutes a day... they're extremely tedious and unsatisfying.. and I'm hoping it's benefitting me in some way because it gets so painful, too.

The hand gripper IS helping, though. Like my left hand feels a little stronger than yesterday and my fingertips aren't hurting as badly when I play. I know it sounds silly to worry about this, but it really handicapped my ability to play for long periods of time. The impulse purchase is becoming pretty handy.

I'll continue working at it.

Tomorrow I also definately need to study some kanji, vocab, etc etc.... I'm not gonna lie guys, I'm getting pretty tired of Japanese. I just feel like my mind is now openning up to other things that interest me more, like music and exercise (what I've been doing in practically all my spare time for a couple months now). I'm also getting really excited about my new discovery, the Human Services major that is. I think it might also be wise for me to pick a minor that more specializes my degree and puts me ahead of the game for hiring purposes. Like if I specialized in drug and alcohol dependency. Very excited for things to come, and as this old chapter in my life ends a new one will begin. Still going to have a little bit of trouble getting rid of the bento stuff, and if it comes to it finally cutting from the Japanese thing once and for all.

Will I ever regret it? I don't know. It's a second language, should I just continue to take it just because the knowledge will benefit me later in life? As my interest for the cultural aspects, anime, cosplay, whatever.. gets thinner and thinner, it's harder for me to learn it. Shit.



I'm not stressing guys, no worries. I feel fine, very good in fact. I'm gonna work out for awhile.

peace.

Human Resources Major!!!

http://www.wce.wwu.edu/Depts/HS/degree/Major%20Requirements.shtml

I'm dropping accounting 202, but check this out!!

Why?

I was having a horrendous time with my accounting homework tonight and my mom tried sitting down and helping me with it. It was getting so hard and tedious and I had literally broke down into tears. My mom and me then started talking and she told me to take some time this week to look at majors. She then out of the blue brought up Human Services, and how much of an awesome career it is for women.

I looked into the major requirements and course descriptions... Interpersonal systems, case management, interventions, hiring and firing practices, conflict resolution... NEAT!! Those all sounds interesting to me. And it uses my greatest skill-- being analytical and a good judge of character. I'm also a good writer so that will come in handy. It's employable AND involves people! I think I've found my calling!

So yeah, no more accounting for me, no more counting columns of numbers. I enjoy money, and someday I'm sure I'll have a great credit score, but I don't think I want my life revolving around numbers and if they add up correctly. My Dad will understand. The more I got into my accounting classes, the more I realized it wasn't for me.

I intend to spend my last months at CBC taking the time to figure out what my plan is. I'm still going to take Japanese, but I'm going to create a plan of action for Western and what courses I'm going to take per quarter, just to make my Dad happy. Tomorrow morning I will happily drop my accounting class and that weight will be lifted off my shoulders. There's absolutely no reason for me to be taking it if there's no way for the credits to transfer.

I'm excited you guys, completely thrilled.

peace.