Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Trying for years to fix this....


Today was pretty interesting. For the first time this summer I had the balls to visit my grandma regardless of the fact that Ty owns everything now. Ty did call in a number of times, probably to ask whether or not I was still there and could come home without feeling awkward. I appreciate that he *did* leave today because it made it a lot easier to see my aunt and Grandma without bringing up the elephant in the room, but there was still so much tension.

My aunt Traci had come a few days ago to visit and my Mom couldn't help crying about how fragmented our family has become. She talked about how my Dad felt like he was exiled from his family and didn't know if anything would ever change it. I thought years would heal the pain but it's only made it worse. My Dad wants a relationship with his mom so badly but the tension between Ty and my Dad is too much to even step foot in that house after all that has happened....

It's such a catch 22 because Tyler plays a substantial role in my grandmother's life and none of us wanted to take that away from her. Having grown up LDS and always having a man tell her what to do, my Grandma has been afraid of feeling purposeless since my Grandpa died. She has taken care of Ty like she took care of my Grandpa and it makes her feel special so she's been willing to sacrifice the relationship with my Dad to give Ty what he wants. She felt that Ty should have the farm because my Dad has a great job, wife and daughters so he didn't need it.  What my Grandma didn't realize is how much the farm meant to my Dad which to this day destroys him.

At this point there's nothing we can do. Tyler has full ownership of the farm, including the shed and the land my Dad so carefully tended to all those years... I remember coming out to his barn in the evenings and I would be so proud of the beautiful gardens he planted. I would roam around and look at the tools he'd collected or catch frogs around the irrigation ditch. I remember listening to crickets and running through the weeds during sunset like it was the most beautiful place on earth. When that was taken away from us I didn't realize how much of an impact it would have but the repercussions have been more obvious every summer.

Annnyway..... Went over to my Grandmother's house today to visit. Traci had to deliver something to an elderly woman she used to care for so my grandmother and I had about an hour to talk. We talked about the usual-- About school and that I'd be graduating in one quarter, I asked her about her involvement with the Mormon church, etc etc... Anthony showed up and sat down, which was interesting having talked to him for the first time in a few years.

Here's a picture of Anthony and Wyatt. 

Anthony has gotten so tall! At least six foot... He's not a bad looking kid but definitely into  video games and anime to the point that the mainstream girl would be like "Whhhaaat are you talking about?" Lol about where I was at that age. 


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