Unless I write it down for real, PS

Evening.

It's 10:07 PM and I'm feeling sort of drowsy. Today was sort of boring and I'm happy school is starting the day after tomorrow. Still no word from the Subway manager so I should probably try to call him tomorrow. I'm thinking he might have reconsidered hiring me. Hopefully not, I could definitely use the money, but this quarter is going to be hard and will probably hit me like a ton of bricks by this time next week. 

I didn't do anything remotely academic over spring break. Michael warned me that I should be looking over R which I didn't get around too. I also need to email updated copies of my resume to another couple internships I was looking at for this summer. It's really important that I get that stuff squared away too.. Doing well in an internship will really help me find a job after school and then I won't have to potentially move back into my parent's house after I graduate. 

I also had the intention of briefing the first couple chapters of my finance book to get prepared for what's to come. I actually might have done this had I brought the book back with me to benton city, and the stress of not having it made me want to leave home since Tuesday night. Of course I didn't because my Dad told me how silly that was and that I just needed to relax.

Stress is my biggest struggle. It prevents me from getting a lot done, especially when I'm not diligent about writing down what I need to accomplish in any given day. That structure alleviates a lot of stress for me and when I'm back home I feel like that structure completely evaporates. Whenever I sit down and try to do something productive it doesn't take long to get distracted. Whether it's someone talking to me or talking in the background, some loud TV somewhere, cats meowing at the door trying to get in or out, feeling uncomfortable because I'm in some unusual spot... 

Working out helped my stress a lot last quarter.

Luckily these type of distractions in my apartment are non-existent but I have to learn to adapt to being productive in other environments so I am not so frequently confined here.  Last quarter instead of working out at home using those videos I started using the gym which has been great, I really missed the gym this last week. 

....I've also missed the flipping library! One thing I did do a ton of over spring break was draw and I've got some awesome ones that I'm excited as hell to upload on Monday. Ever since I stopped taking lessons and allowed myself to more diversify my skills my drawing technique has shot through the roof and I'm having a blast drawing anyone I feel like....

peace. 

Grades! Spring break, Stuck in the library.

"Sample Photo." I'll put this as my cover photo on facebook. Hey guys look how cool this picture is that you also all had on your windows computer when you bought it.

 

Why am I wasting my picture bandwidth on this. I've got to be getting to my maximum of available uploads on this site....

The f am I going to do with myself until Monday.

So did I tell you guys that my computer's busted? I'm in the library right now trying to get my fill and maybe print out some tabs before I go back. It's really hard to be in my room without the computer because it's so quiet and I do like youtube, netflix, etc while I play guitar. Guitar Pro is on that computer too, which is another thing I don't want to lose.

It's definately worth it to spend some money to get that computer fixed instead of trying to fix it myself and potentially making things worse. It's going to cost about $110.

I woke up today feeling really lazy. I was up late last night because I was thinking about Abe and how I really don't think I'm going to see him again. I just feel like he's avoiding me or something and I don't want to bother him but it's still a depressing thought. It's been 4 weeks, officially, since we've hung out together.

Right now I have $1,400 in my account that I live on. I feel like I've been depleating my funds at a relatively steady rate. I haven't been splurging on anything really, I pay my $80 a month for guitar lessons, money for gas, groceries, occasional makeup and other beauty stuff... I really need to buy some clothes, though. My clothes are lose fitting and funky now, it's like I've worn them all too many times. I honestly haven't bought any new clothes for myself at all since I've moved here. Like I'll get clothes when I go home. My clothes are starting to bother me and I'm just too damn lazy to do anything about it.

I'll try to get a few new things when I go home on Tuesday.

Anyway, woke up late today, got in the shower at about 7:15 for my class at 8'. Needless to say I didn't get out the door on time, intentionally, because I had realized that we were going to have to write a paper in class today for some diagnostic thing. It's not graded, my mind was so effing exausted from the days of studying finite math for hours on end.

I got a 7 on my last midterm, and a 90.5% overall in the class. Isn't that great? My goal this quarter was to get two A's and I think I did well enough in my English class to maybe make that grade as well. If not, it's because I did bad on a couple reading quizzes which is lame.

I got an 85% in Carbaugh's ecomonics class overall. That I was pretty happy about. That class wasn't the hardest class I've ever taken but business class material is sometimes so dry it's hard to stand. I learned so much in that class this quarter, though.

OH! And I got a new student. My student Hassan refered his friend Abdull to me. I might have already mentioned that but that is really exciting to me.

I really have learned a lot these past couple quarters and I feel accomplished enough that I'm trying to just enjoy it instead of worrying about whatever else is bothering me. Things are pretty damn close to ideal for me. I just wish I knew if Abe and I were going to see eachother again or if I'm just going to hang around here until Tuesday when I go home. I'm excited for my party on Wednesday, it's going to be really fun.

peace.

..Flat. Out. Not talking to me now...?

Today's been uneventful.

Though successful enough I suppose. After I get done writing I'm going to do none other than (drumroll) play guitar and watch NETFLIX! Wooo!! Yeah I really haven't played much guitar today, nor did I study econ like I'd intended. I did study about an hour friday and saturday though so it makes up for it I suppose. 

As hard as this is to admit to you guys because I hate seeming like I need a man for anything... I've really had a hard time focusing today because I've been thinking about Abe. We haven't hung out together in two weeks. Caring this much about seeing him is a good sign... for Abe, that is if he actually wants to continue spending time together or not. I feel like he's barely been texting me because he doesn't know when to break it to me or something if he's not interested. We just haven't been texting hardly at all. He either doesn't respond to my texts or takes hours to reply. For said reason, and the fact that we haven't hung out for weeks, makes me think he's reconsidering spending time with me. 

I have three weeks left of classes before finals week. I'm so happy that I do not have a final in econ or in finite. The only final for English that I'm aware of is my research paper that I'm doing on exotic animal ownership and how it should be illegal in all states. I'm HOPING I'll be able to find recent articles on the issue. I need at least 2 that were published in 2013. That's only 2 months of articles. 

So I might even be lucky enough to get an extra week of spring break if I don't have any finals! That would be sick, I'm excited to get all my shiz packed and go home. 

peace. 

Making little traveling plans...

Right now I'm sitting at Robert's house with Skyler in Robert's living room.

This has been pretty fun, it's always nice catching up with Robert. I played a couple things that I've learned with him, but not Skyler. Tool's songs are just so fudging long that it's hard to play it for anyone without feeling like it's show-y. The songs that I play are nothing like Metallica though, way more basic and slower paced. Some of the timing is a little tricky, but nothing too demanding like some of the Metallica is.

I took that random dog picture from Robert's computer. I do that every time I'm using somebody else's computer to write a blog. 

Wow, Skyler's playing is pretty incredible. They're a huge inspiration for me to keep playing. They clearly have been working their asses off at it for months on end. I've been going for uhmmmm.... 3 months now? Just gotta keep practicing I guess.

Right now my car is in the shop so I'm gonna be stuck here for a little while.. the shop meaning some random guy's garage that my dad knows. Apparently he's going to repair a bunch of stuff that will make my car as good as new. My dad is also paying off the car completely so that it's 100% mine. In my amateur accounting language no longer a payable, it's equipment, an asset to ME! But the depreciation on this equipment makes it valued far lower than what I've paid for it. lol, don't think I'm taking myself seriously good Lord. That's what I hate about accounting, there's so much jargon.

I'm about ready to go home. I can already tell where this is going. 

So now that finals are over, I'm on Spring break!

What am I going to do this whole time? I have no clue at all. Probably play a lot of guitar, smoke a lot of bud, play sims, hang out with friends... what I'd usually do on the weekends. I hope it doesn't fly by too quickly, I could use a good break from school. I got pretty burnt out there for a minute. All I would need to see is my grade GPA from the previous quarter to want to keep going, but sometimes it's really hard to push forward when all I want to do is....

That's the thing. I don't know what I want to do. I'm soo bored at school and with the school routine, yet I'm also sooo bored with my at home routine. Bored, but comfortable. Also comfortable with my lame work hours. Comfortable with getting up early practically every morning. Like me and Robert started our day off really early. I realized that I had to pay for Spring tuition so I texted Robert about it (who I thought was coming over)and he realized he hadn't paid it either. We were at the school at about 10 this morning and now here it is only 12' pm. I sort of like this morning routine, I get a lot more done.

Maybe I just need a change of scenery. Yeah, I need to get out and take a trip. I know Connor likes road trips, and I'd be down to spend a little money to go spend a day in Seattle. Walking around, maybe shop at Uwajimaya with my Japanese prowess, yeah that would be really fun. I mean it's not like I'm working every single day during spring break, and once my car gets prepared I'm going to be good to go. The only problem is that I don't know if Connor would necessarily have the money for it. That and I don't know if he'd want to go. We had a lot of fun last weekend but it's still a touchy situation. And it's not that I really have strong feelings for him again, I just like spending time with him and he'd be fun to travel with. Like he'd make it an adventure.

So it's decided! This spring break, at some point, I'd like to take a little road trip and maybe even do a little clothes shopping or something. I'll have to make this trip semi-purposeful. What's something that I need... well, nothing really. Just to get out.

peace.

emily