Drinking wastes time and makes people sick

I was thinking a little earlier about how long I wanted to play guitar before I was able to fully dedicate myself and how happy I am that I've gotten to this point. I had my lesson today and had a really stressful week and so I was really happy to see Jake. He is so intelligent, direct and usually knows the correct logical perspective on all of my problems that I've ever told him about.

Like don't get me wrong, 99% of our lesson is just spent working. Any time that is not spent working is because I'm the one that's wasting time blabbing on about something because I want to get his advice on something. Lol he's not getting paid to listen to my problems or give me advice on anything.

But I really am going to take his advice on alcohol. He used to drink when he was in his earlier 20's and had a bunch of crazy shit happen like most people. Anyway he doesn't drink now because he says that it's just something that hinders progress and I think he's totally right. Like I could only play guitar for 40 minutes today, and the past few days I've been feeling better so there's no reason that I shouldn't be making 2 hours at least.

I need to know Master of Puppets like the back of my hand in 6 weeks and I've been making progress but seeing the speed that I need to have it at intimidates me. God, why did I decide to do such a difficult song? I'm going to put myself through boot camp practice the next week not only to escape some negative thinking that has dwelled on me this last week but also kind of recenter.

I took my probably one and only excusable day off work today. Last night I went out and felt so sick all night I couldn't move this morning. I've decided to never drink on a day before a work shift ever again. I know it's something that people just have to learn but with the medication that I'm on (Prozac) I feel that the alcohol has more sedative effects than the average person... like I get realllly tired when I drink. I have a good time and I'm usually quite attentive to what people are telling me but alcohol doesn't make me more talkative or confident in that sense.

Tomorrow I work at like 2. Jcpenny is becoming less stressful for me the more that I work there but it still blows working in kids. At least on the weekends they're more busy so it'll be more interaction with people versus mindless folding and sorting. Blegh, that's no fun for me. I've found that the task of dealing with clothes itself is much more obnoxious to me than other aspects like the fact that I'm not around any of the people I'd made friends with at work earlier. That's fine, though, it's a job and I shouldn't be able to make demands like what department I should be working in. But the second I get a new job I'm getting the hell out.

I feel really awkward asking people if they need help finding things because honestly my guess is as good as theres-- most people are just browsing around and don't have a set thing in mind. I have had a really hard time memorizing where stuff is because again, attention to detail.... It's probably just for the best that I look like I know what I'm doing, smile at people a lot, etc and everything will be fine. At least I hope so.

Today I was able to get a much needed errand done and reaped the reward of my paycheck. I'm caught up with guitar lesson payments until the end of the month. I get paid on the 19th. Alrighty then, good! I just need to focus on guitar... I feel like drinking once a week this past few weeks has made me very disoriented and lose focus on what's really important.


peace. 

35. Feeling sick, so aimlessly researching.

This is gonna be a quick entry because I'm planning on going to bed here in a few minutes.

I'm sick; first time for the year 2012, how exciting! I went to school this morning just to get my accounting test back and take my Visual Basic test, which I doubt she's posted the grades for yet. I got an 82% on my accounting test. Not bad, I'll do better on the next one because I was a little nervous about it and found myself rushing when I actually had plenty of time. My main problem was on the multiple choice, but I did pretty well on my journal entries.

http://www.nndb.com/event/229/000118872/

I've been reading about all these suicides by famous people. It's really interesting. Originally I somehow ended up reading all about Hitler's many women that he had relations with and how almost all of them committed suicide, which led me to this page above and I've just been looking up people and watching videos and reading articles.

I really should be sleeping. I took a mucinex and I'm starting to get really tired. Hopefully I feel better by tomorrow.

peace.

My entire face hurts.

I hate being sick, I really do... and it happens to me way too often. I'm pretty sure I have a sinus infection. My eyes are sore, my nose is runny, my teeth hurt, I've consumed way too many bad calories and I feel gross. No coffee, caffiene or bronkaid all day. Maybe I would of been able to rally this morning had I taken some. I took a bath a couple hours ago, which helped sort of... I was angry though because I keep on being reminded that my mom busted our bath drain when she replaced it to make it look prettier.

Stayed home from school today. Probably wouldn't of made it otherwise.. I feel like such shit, there's no way I could of gotten any work done. And with all the work that I have to do this weekend at my hellish job, today was the only day I could of slept. Slept for probably nine hours or so. Felt nice... But as always, when I miss school, there's the guilt. The guilt of not being there, of damaging my grades, of missing out on something... it makes me so paranoid. BUT not as paranoid as missing a day of work, that'd be more of a nightmare to lose my job. I feel like I have more control over my grades because I'm good at cramming and studying, but I don't feel like I'm good at my job and could get easily fired any time.

I found this earlier and thought it was funny. I actually think a couple of these guys are cute.

You know what I feel like doing that I haven't done in ages? Playing my DS... I just want to zone out and play pokemon.

My sister was working on some articles for school for like 3 hours and didn't save ONCE and lost all her work. Been there done that, but my god for how long she was working how could she not save once? She's out there crying. I can't say I feel that sorry for her. It's a tough lesson to learn but how many times do you have to learn it before you realize that it's a good idea to save your work?

God I'm getting cotton mouth something fierce. I just took my motion sickness relief pills for sleep and I smoked a little earlier, I'm starting to feel pretty weird as I write this. There's a lot that I want to say but typing on this computer is really uncomfortable and I want to go to bed soon. This desk gives me splinters and I can't lean comfortably in my bed. mehh.

Today is my payday, sort of. I'm happy that I have $347 in the bank right now that my paycheck is going to stack on top of. That's a decent amount of money to get myself a new purse and a knitted hat. I also have to start thinking about Christmas shopping. Two months is awhile, but I've got a lot of people that I need to buy for.

People that I need to buy for:

-Katelynn

-Katharine

-Shavonne

-Samantha

-Mom

-Avery

-Dad (ugh)

-Grandma Marty

-Mandy (maybe. Haven't talked to them in ages since the facebook insident this summer. Thanks Zoe!)

idk the rest. Things might change over time but that is all that it looks like I'm buying for right now.

Yeah I don't have very much family.

It's sad, there's going to be a big family get together down in Pheonix at my Grandma Chris's house, but we cant go because it takes two days to drive there and we only get five days off for Thanksgiving. Granted five days is enough time of a break in my opinion, but it's not enough time to take a trip.

I'll write more on the subject later.

goodnight