Drinking wastes time and makes people sick

I was thinking a little earlier about how long I wanted to play guitar before I was able to fully dedicate myself and how happy I am that I've gotten to this point. I had my lesson today and had a really stressful week and so I was really happy to see Jake. He is so intelligent, direct and usually knows the correct logical perspective on all of my problems that I've ever told him about.

Like don't get me wrong, 99% of our lesson is just spent working. Any time that is not spent working is because I'm the one that's wasting time blabbing on about something because I want to get his advice on something. Lol he's not getting paid to listen to my problems or give me advice on anything.

But I really am going to take his advice on alcohol. He used to drink when he was in his earlier 20's and had a bunch of crazy shit happen like most people. Anyway he doesn't drink now because he says that it's just something that hinders progress and I think he's totally right. Like I could only play guitar for 40 minutes today, and the past few days I've been feeling better so there's no reason that I shouldn't be making 2 hours at least.

I need to know Master of Puppets like the back of my hand in 6 weeks and I've been making progress but seeing the speed that I need to have it at intimidates me. God, why did I decide to do such a difficult song? I'm going to put myself through boot camp practice the next week not only to escape some negative thinking that has dwelled on me this last week but also kind of recenter.

I took my probably one and only excusable day off work today. Last night I went out and felt so sick all night I couldn't move this morning. I've decided to never drink on a day before a work shift ever again. I know it's something that people just have to learn but with the medication that I'm on (Prozac) I feel that the alcohol has more sedative effects than the average person... like I get realllly tired when I drink. I have a good time and I'm usually quite attentive to what people are telling me but alcohol doesn't make me more talkative or confident in that sense.

Tomorrow I work at like 2. Jcpenny is becoming less stressful for me the more that I work there but it still blows working in kids. At least on the weekends they're more busy so it'll be more interaction with people versus mindless folding and sorting. Blegh, that's no fun for me. I've found that the task of dealing with clothes itself is much more obnoxious to me than other aspects like the fact that I'm not around any of the people I'd made friends with at work earlier. That's fine, though, it's a job and I shouldn't be able to make demands like what department I should be working in. But the second I get a new job I'm getting the hell out.

I feel really awkward asking people if they need help finding things because honestly my guess is as good as theres-- most people are just browsing around and don't have a set thing in mind. I have had a really hard time memorizing where stuff is because again, attention to detail.... It's probably just for the best that I look like I know what I'm doing, smile at people a lot, etc and everything will be fine. At least I hope so.

Today I was able to get a much needed errand done and reaped the reward of my paycheck. I'm caught up with guitar lesson payments until the end of the month. I get paid on the 19th. Alrighty then, good! I just need to focus on guitar... I feel like drinking once a week this past few weeks has made me very disoriented and lose focus on what's really important.


peace. 

Was finally able to get an opinion out of terry, it's a miracle! ha ha ha

I apologize if this is written really sloppily guys, I'm exausted beyond belief and I'm going to crash so hard when I finish writing this....

Today's been just a hard work day. I skipped speech class and pray we didn't happen to have that test today because I really needed that nap....

What's strange to me is that Central is having it's book buyback tomorrow which means I plan on selling back my speech and maybe economics depending on if I'm taking the final or not. I probably won't take it unless I got under an 85% on the exam today. I've done really well in that class overall and as long as I'm doing better than Terry I won't take it. I'm putting 100% effort into studying for my stats final right now... and feel as though I'm making little progress on it even if I read the material and do the practice problems again and again. It's just very difficult conceptually. When you are trying to learn stats concepts you feel like your brain is running on a treadmill backwards, it's just so different.

But like I said before, a really good grade on that final equals an A in the class and dropping that exam 4 grade.

So I did get a chance to sit down with Sipic and discuss my thoughts on switching from finance to economics. It didn't take much for him to convince me because I'd honestly made up my decision but he was able to whip up a new graduation plan for me in about 15 minutes. Turns out I could actually graduate at the end of next spring if I major in econ. He also told me that I should consider doing a double major (Economics and finance) because it would only take me two additional quarters (Summer and Fall).. I'm really thinking about doing that, I don't see why not.

I took my econ test this morning and I think I did pretty well. Terry and I met up at around 8 this morning to study for the exam. He didn't seem as solid on a lot of the content as I did but that's obviously because I had no life all weekend.... Anyway we had a really good study session. We had an interesting conversation monday night.

So I was finally able to get Terry to tell me what he thought of me... sort of.. We'd started this by me mentioning that I was starting to find of figure him out and he was like "oh yeah, prove it" you know so I started to list off some things.

I told him that he's "Driven, serious, and have high standards of success for yourself. You are closed emotionally. You're blunt and decisive." He said that was a pretty accurate analysis.

He told me that I am "Start and dedicated to school and your guitar, learning new things, you're kinda quirky but nice and like to do your own thing." I liked this description of me a lot.

Writing right now is painful, I have to go to sleep. night

peace.