Today was a good day, one of those solid Sundays where I got what I needed too done.
Last night I took the time to write out everything I would ideally like to get done this week. I say ideally because I rarely complete every goal that I set for myself but when I make a solid effort to stick to these goals throughout the week the rewards I reap are always greater than expected. Things materialize-- grades improve, songs clean up.. I might also be getting healthier from going to the gym too. I've been going 3-4 times a week lately because I really like the endorphins.
A couple days ago I'd misplaced my connection card and was thoroughly disappointed when I couldn't go to the gym that night. I realize I like working out because it helps me not think about people.. I can just zone out and not worry, and be happy that I'm spending this time to benefit my body and clarity of mind.
If I continue to enjoy working out this much in life I won't have to worry about body image again. I'll be able to eat and drink more of what I want without guilt. Sweet.
Because the important thing of course is not to overdo it. I don't want to be rail thin. I weigh 140 right now and this is a really good weight for me. If I continue to workout at the gym I could potentially gain some muscle mass but I can't imagine going over 145... well unless I started really powerlifting and eating more steak which is not likely. On the other hand going to the gym could cause me to lose weight if I'm stressed out and not eating enough but again I couldn't imagine it dropping more than 5 pounds unless I had a really decreased appetite which is not likely either.
Speaking of food it's 2 am and I'm gonna make myself a grilled cheese.... Then I'm going to bed! And I realize I don't give a sh*t because it won't make a difference tomorrow.