It's 9:00 am. A friend of mine texted me at 1 in the morning and I did not fall back asleep. I feel asleep at around 6 or 7. I really would have liked to of exercised but not having my computer has made it a little more difficult. Today is Wednesday which means I have two more days here before I intend to go back (on Friday).
I plan on seeing Kari H. tomorrow! We communicate a lot on facebook and I plan to swing by and talk with her before my guitar lesson. I'd like to get back into the routine if waking up early in the morning.
Life has been quite strange the past couple days. After Katelynn and I stopped being friends I had a hard time believing it was real. I've recapped the entire story of what happened in my head numerous times and as the days pass details are becoming cloudier. I will try to back up to the very beginning, which was the day before the party. It's story time people!
Spring Break Party-- My first party with booze,
Trying to find closure with Katelynn
and the Situation 3/13/2013.
Prologue: Katelynn and I hung out the previous night and walked around Richland. Things seemed fine, just like any other regular night. I brought over the last of some brownies I had left in the freezer which we enjoyed. They were quite old, admittedly.
Katelynn and I went to the drive through at McDonalds that night over by Leyte, which I remember Jacob M. worked at for quite awhile. Jacob and I were friends and I liked him for awhile my Sophomore year-- I think after I dated Chino and right before I got my license. Anyway, that's off topic. We went to THAT McDonalds.
I ate a chicken sandwich and fries. I admitted that it tasted pretty good but when we took a walk that evening I started to feel sick. Katelynn is applying for a job at McDonalds while she looks for work elsewhere. I understand in her circumstances looking for work in this difficult economy you have to take what you can while you look for work to maintain your lifestyle.
I feel as though Katelynn might have gotten sick of my problems because they seem petty to her. I can understand that. I don't have to work and I still complain about being nervous about money. My parents have supported me while Katelynn's parents have caused her financial stress since she was 16. I've always respected Katelynn for being more independent than I am and I appreciate her for that.
Ryan, a friend of Katelynn's who at one time dated Katelynn's other friend Toni. Toni and Katelynn had a falling out and Ryan lost touch with Katelynn somewhere around our Junior year of highschool. Ryan is a really cool guy and plays the drums.
Behind him is Brandon. I can't remember how Katelynn met Brandon exactly, but I was very happy when they arrived pretty shortly after the RSVP time (8:00).
Katelynn and I cleaned the house... well, predominantly Katelynn cleaned it. I'm not going to lie guys, I am a puss when it comes to being tired. It's really hard for me to wake up if I didn't sleep well the previous night, even if I have a party that day. I slept at Katelynn's house the last night on their couch and I wasn't able to sleep at all so I found I was rather bitchy that night without even trying to be.
That is, completely unintentionally bitchy. I would never want to hurt Katelynn, ever. I feel like sometimes I just go on bantering about things but I'll end up saying something that could have offended her even if it had nothing to do with her necessarily.
Katelynn wiped off the counters, vacuumed the living room and probably straightened up the living room while I was.... in my bedroom, with Miranda, trying to sleep so that I didn't act feel and unintentionally act like a moody, lathargic bitch all evening. At around 8:00 Katelynn's friend Ryan showed up, who is the bearded gentleman in the picture. We all had fun hanging out and chatting for about an hour and a half before anyone else showed up-- but needless to say I was a little nervous when 9:30 was rolling around and nobody else had showed up yet.
One of the things I said that probably offendid Katelynn: "Why isn't anybody showing up!" I must have said this 3 or 4 times... It's not like I in any way meant that Katelynn and her friends aren't somebody to me. I was just as excited to have them there as everyone else. I was just thinking of how bad it would be if nobody that Jacob knew had showed up to my party and how lame it would be to say, "Err... yeah I tried to plan that buttttt...."
Brandon and Ricky were the next to arrive. I was sort of surprised they showed up, they brought a couple six packs too. That night I had bought a 28 can-box of Coors light, I believe-- I'm not that particular.
Then Glenn and Adolfo showed up, and shortly after Rhiannon, Kevin and Sheldon M. When Jordan S. showed up with his girlfriend I was like, yay! This is officially a party. I felt there was a respectable amount of people to not be considered a "kickback"-- which is impressive to me because usually Benton City is such a far drive nobody wants to come out here.
Samantha and Shawn were invited but were unable to make it because Shawn had to work in the morning. Josie originally told me she wasn't going to make it because she had a final the next day but then showed up shortly after Joan and Jared.
There's me and Josie. As you can see we're wearing practically matching attire unintentionally, ha ha. Basics are the best clothes. Anyway she dropped in briefly, we talked about college and kind of joked around with Joan and Jarred before they left too. Joan must be on spring break too. He lives in Pullman. Josie is currently going to cbc and will graduate in good time. She didn't do running start in highschool so I'm pretty sure she's in her second year there.
Anyway the night rolled on. We got more drunk. I tried to hang out and talk with everyone at one point or another so I didn't spend the whole time with Katelynn. I figured she was having a good time because she was hanging out with the friends that she'd brought.
As people started to leave I started to move the party outside because my sister had class in the morning. As you can see I sat down next to Katelynn and asked her friend to take these pictures. Again, thought we were having a really good time.
Fast forward to after the party. It's the day after and I'm exhausted hanging around the house all day. I get a text from Katelynn asking if I was busy-- and I wasn't, really. That morning I'd seen Rhiannon briefly and we walked around town for a little bit before she went to work. She had told me about a party she was going to and told me she would talk to Sheldon about me coming.
When Katelynn asked what I was doing I told her I might hit up Connor (granted I had tried but he didn't get back to me. I haven't seen him a pretty long time) but then later said I was planning to go to bed after all.
That day my Mom informed me that Katelynn had posted a status about like... 'so much for my friends being there for me' or something along those lines. I didn't see the post because my computer has been broken and I was using my cell phone which cut back my facebook contact reliability pretty significantly.
The next day Katelynn texted me saying she didn't want to be friends anymore with no real explanation other than that she felt the only time I was listening to her was when we were talking about me.
I would have to disagree but this is the way that she felt and she has every right to cut me out of her life. I just have a hard time believing it.
Forward: Messaged Sarah on facebook the day of the text messages. She told me that Katelynn does this unexpectedly, which I'm aware of, but I never thought it would be me. I thought I would continue to be the constant variable in her life. But times are changing, our lives are changing... And she wholeheartedly meant what she said and there's nothing I can do about it.
I'm just trying to move forward. Without my best friend I feel rather empty. She was a person that I grew up with in many ways, our personalities developed together through adolescence. I'm going to miss her.