Thursday, March 19, 2015

I feel like I'm going crazy

Okay, I can't remember the last time I was so sleep deprived but unable to sleep. Its that part of me that won't let me sleep when I know there's more work to do.

These last four finance chapters have been hard, but I really dropped the ball on the last two chapters by dedicating too much of my time on the first two.  I studied yesterday for about 5 hours. Today I was at the library from 12 pm until 11 pm with a couple breaks in between to eat a quesadilla and have soup at Van's house.

Van is a girl that I'd seen in my finance class so many times and we finally introduced ourselves the other day when she saw me cramming for my marketing exam in the hallway. She told me some of the essay questions that she'd remembered from last quarter that helped immensely.

Honestly I should have been studying these last two finance chapters earlier. I just let myself get wrapped up in studying for marketing and figured two days would be enough. It really hasn't been.

I have to take the test in 7 hours. I don't know what its worth for me to just be laying here stressed out when I know I can't sleep. When I first got home I was laying here in bed praying to god to let me sleep for a few hours but all I could think of was the last chapters I needed to reread. Even now after I finished reading them I want to get up, shower and get ready and finish my "cheat sheet." It's 1 in the fucking morning and I didn't get a good night sleep last night because Marshall was meowing and being a turd!

Ugh. Like I said, its crazy. . Like I know my brain is tired. I know I would be better off for my test if I slept. But I just can't. I just have to get out of bed and keep going because my mind is not going to rest until 10 am today when the test is done. After I nap I then have to do this case study thing that was supposed to be due this morning but I convinced the professor to not punish those that turn it in on the same day because of how hard these chapters are. He understood and sent an email out to everyone saying they can turn it in until Friday. God, what an awesome guy. He has been so flexible with us this quarter because he really wants us to learn..

And *I* really want to learn!! I've done so damn well all quarter I can't do shitty on this test and have it all be for nothing!!

Okay.. I need to think positively. Yes I'm sleep deprived. Yes I have work to do. But God is here with me now and will help me get through this and do the best that I can possibly do given my current circumstances. .. . I just pray I haven't blown it..


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