You can push down any pain you might be experience you're feeling by doing a task that by now requires little to no thought and still makes you feel good about yourself.
This last weekend was the pits for a number of reasons. Friday night I thought I'd get a chance to hang out with this really hot guy I'd met recently and thought our personalities had clicked. Wrong. He flaked on me the last minute because his ex girlfriend called. Okay, stayed up all night for nothing.
The next day I told him once again that if this is part of some kind of game just leave me alone and be with her. He responded the next morning with a lot of wishy-washy excuses and I kept bitching him out saying that there's no excuse for keeping me up all night waiting and then flaking on your way here. And that i didnt want a relationship with him but if he is going to act like this any time we make plans to get to know eachother than screw it.
So he responded on Saturday night saying I should call him at a number he gave me so he could explain himself. By the time I got the number it was too late because I was up that night practicing and trying not to dwell on what had happened the *previous* night with this goombah.
The next morning I sent him a text saying he could call me whenever and he responded "who is this?" I responded Emily. No response. 2-3 hours later I wrote "so you decided not to talk after all?" And he responded "who is this" AGAIN. Shortly after sent another text, 'i think you have the wrong number.' Okay. .
First thought that came to mind, "wow. This totally is his number and he decided he didnt want to talk so now he's claiming it isnt..." Then, of course because I'm manipulated by how attractive he is thought, "Well maybe he just gave me the wrong number."
I have no way of knowing either way. Because I dont know any of his friends that have his number and would rather not go around digging I don't know. We haven't talked since that night. Part of me wishes I would have had my phone on to receive that message alert but the other part of me thinks even if I had he would have changed his mind talking to me anyways.
I dont need him to explain why he flaked on Friday night. To me its pretty obvious that his ex girlfriend probably called having an emotional melt down and out of habit he decided to go to her rescue instead of hanging out with a girl who doesnt need his help but he knows is a way better catch.
Regardless it doesn't matter now because we're not talking. And might not talk again. Who knows.
And that's why being an artist is awesome. To have the ability to satiate your emotions regardless of the bullshit that's happening like this.