I give myself permission to be useless on friday evenings

Hey all, it's 6:47 pm on a Friday...

I'm wondering what I should do tonight. I just texted Allie and hopefully I can get some sort of plan together. I'm going to put on another layer of that nice smelling tanning lotion. It actually works surprisingly well, and hasn't been all streaky and ridiculous looking. I'm sure the reason it used to look that way is because I was doing it poorly when I was in middle school and highschool, ha ha that and sports made me all sweaty so it would get all messed up.

Lol the last few days I've just been messing with Terry via text. I've discovered that our relationship is like mush, it doesn't look like it's going anywhere yet nothing's changed since we were initially into eachother at the beginning of this quarter. So that's been nice, really drama free for the most part... I mean most of the time we spent together we spent studying.

This morning I skipped economics because I felt unmotivated after spilling coffee all over my legs. Soo I fixed myself some more coffee, read my econ book for like 45 minutes then went to Stats. I felt like it was pretty lame of me to get up, get ready and skip class but it felt pretty worth it after it was over.

lab today went well! I barely needed any help, but when I reached some snags the redheaded girl that sits in front of me helped me out a lot. Yayy!!! And Sipic told us today that he has basically uploaded a format of EVERY. FREAKING. CONCEPT. that's going to be on the test. There is NO excuse for me not to knock this one out of the park and get a high grade in that class. And he did get my email by the way, but he told me he's been really busy. It seems like a lot of other students are hitting him up to be their adviser too.

He reminds me of Snape, like he made this poor lady feel like such an ass today for being out of line. It was like 11:15 or so in the computer lab and this probably 40-some year old lady (offf course...) comes marching in to get her papers out of the printer. 

"What are you doing?"-Sipic

"Oh I'm just printing some stuff from my other class!"-Knitted hat lady wearing rain coat

"We're have a class, I suggest get out of here as soon as possible"

Love it.

Well I was hoping Allie and I would go out tonight but she's going away this weekend. Damn it, like I said I'd really like to do something... I just wish I had other girls that I'd want to spend time with here. There's this one girl named Dominique in my speech class that seems really smart. She's cute and pretty clever too, and she hates that class as much as I do.I tried adding her on facebook yesterday.

Alright well, guitar time. I want more freaking episodes of intervention but I'm still broke til tomorrow. blagh why is my taste in shows so limited.

Maybe I'll write more later. If something comes up probably not, either way I'll tell you what ends up going on tonight. I'm curious myself. Will this be an interesting memorial day weekend? Or will I just be getting more work done to preoccupy myself? We shall see

peace. 

Let's make this next four weeks as painless as possible, shall we

I've got five minutes before my speech class.

Last night I prayed to God I could work really hard today. I asked him that my mind feel energized so I can get things done because I'm not feeling particularly comfortable about the statistics material right now. It's STILL taking time to click even if I've studied the material for about four hours in the last couple days. The day before the test is the only day that I skip in stats because he only reviews the old material which I can do from my apartment and get more retention for my time.

Granted I know that I can't teach myself this. I always feel like crap when I skip a class but if I actually study and use the time I feel okay about it. Today is one of those days. Chose to skip statistics because my attendance in speech isn't fantastic and I can't afford to skip that again. Speech class kind of drains me and I always want to take a nap afterward which is frustrating because the evening used to be prime guitar practice time for me while I make dinner.

I've tried to control this problem by letting myself relax in the late evening around 8'. Unfortunately what this can sometimes do is make it so that I'm going to bed too early.. Which I suppose is better than sleeping at 4 then waking up at 8, making myself dinner and studying until 11...

I'm always trying to get the perfect regime to make my life the least stressful. Shoot I gotta go to class, write later....(2:43 pm)


3:52 pm:

Today I threw up about 15 minutes after class started (rushed to the bathroom.. honestly I don't know how much longer I could have made it) because I took a prenatal on an empty stomach. They've good multi-vitamins but they can make you feel sick because of their potency levels.

Speech today wasn't bad I guess. There was this girl that did her presentation on her resort-vacation that she goes to during the summer, that was entertaining. What was probably more painful was that the MC was the Hawaiian girl today. She kept reading these completely inappropriate facts or bullshit statistics off her phone and I'm just sitting there trying to keep my head low. Whenever I listen to her I have to REALLY put on my Noh face... closed mouth smile, because I have to keep myself from cracking up.

So yeah uh.... That's definitely THE class I'm excited to be out of this quarter.

I signed up to do my persuasive speech first. The professor was watching if I'd do that and he's like "OHHH she did it!" and people started laughing. Going first ds ,oesn't bother me at all. Waiting for a bunch of other people to go is much more stressful for me because I start overthinking it.

I've got more than a week to get it done. Tomorrow I'm actually going to have to skip speech class to go to the "Bite of Insight" speech for the outside critiquing assignment. I feel like sending him an e-mail about my absence on that one because this is going to be the 4th day that I'm absent. I'd really not like to lose participation points in that class when it should be an easy A.

I'm going to go back outside and enjoy the sunshine and read over one of my stats chapters again before tomorrow's test. I want to do really well to make up for feeling like a dork for not getting the lab on Friday. It's totally my fault that I've fallen behind in the excel stuff because I've barely touched it outside of class. I'm really hoping there's not going to be an excel skill exam or anything at the end of the quarter because I would really need to get on figuring out what the hell I'm doing. It's a hard program in my opinion.

But everything in life is hard. I just need to work at it like anything else, won't come over night.

have I posted this before? Yes? No? Oh well. Took this screenshot awhile back, lol Peggy whipped out the "Funsaver."

Jack and I haven't talked since Saturday morning. This is expected because Jack doesn't really like texting. I wouldn't mind texting every so often but definitely not continually... Idk, he told me to download this app called SnapChat that you can send photos back and forth and they disappear in 3 seconds or something like that. My phone isn't compatible with it so until I get an upgrade I'm pretty sure we're not going to do that much communicating outside of when I spontaneously see him on the weekends.

And to be honest your guess is as good as mine whether or not I'll continue to see him because I like I've said this has happened so many times I just can't ask questions of what he's doing anymore. It's like when he came to my house on Friday night. He immediately held my hand when we walked outside. BUT it was 1 am. See it makes you wonder if he would act that way during the day time, probably not. Again I have no idea, we'll see what happens either way.

Wow I've been writing for an hour already. I haven't played guitar much all day because I've been studying a lot but I still plan too later this evening. 

alright I'll stop rambling

peace.

Switching my major around, sort of

Hey all.

Let's see, it's 1:26 pm and today's been really good. This morning I woke up realizing why I'd been angry all day yesterday. I was really emotional about nothing. Terry and I talked today, everything's cool. I don't know if he's interested in me or not but I've decided I don't really care because it doesn't matter. Terry and I are the same major-specialization so I'm going to see him around for another year.. well that is, if he stays at Central. Since his family is from Aberdeen he might want to go to school closer to his family at some point. Or maybe he'll get picked up by some other team, who knows.

But it's all good. Seriously. If I do hang out with Terry again it will hopefully be to do the second attempt of our statistics homework that is due on Monday. I did the first attempt at that today. It took an hour and I was feeling VERY confident about my answers but was shocked when I got about a D on the assignment score. Luckily Sipic gives us 2 chances (again, I like his class, there's a lot of resources to learn the material including online questions which is a plus. Working online is nice, too) on the assignment.

So because I've liked my Stats and economics classes so much this quarter I've been considering changing majors. Oh that and I can't stand my comm class. And something tells me the Human Resource Management specialization classes will have similar gender distributions as my comm class that has a bunch of Public Relations majors. Lots of females. Now I have nothing against women, obviously I am one! But now that I've started to get a better understanding of economics and statistics and my mind is like-- OH HEY, I CAN kind of do this, I would like to go into Finance and Supply Chain management!

But how do I know if my brain is ready for this? I have to work especially hard. I never anticipated to be taking on this incredible challenge. Finance is a much more difficult choice in regards to the amount of math than Human Resource Management. Professor Sipic really inspired me when he said "Statistics is hard. Math is hard. Get used to it because it will be like that for the rest of your life."

It's so true! And I realize now that my brain has no disadvantage to any other student in class because math is hard for EVERYONE. Granted I do not want to take any more accounting. There is a lot of accounting that goes into this stuff but the finance major is much different:

okay this looks like crud, just copied this onto paint...

This is all the classes needed to get the bachelors in finance. These are the classes that I would take after this quarter, so next year is going to be by no means easy, which is why I'm really working hard in statistics currently to understand this and have a better grasp of what's to come in the upcoming months.

I am really excited to take more econ classes-- especially international economics which I will definitely take with Carbaugh. That will be my third class with him probably. I just really like how his classes are set up, they're easy to follow and his lectures always make sense. Plus he's a kind person and doesn't act like he wants to fail all of us. 

I do not like professors that deliberately act like assholes, honestly. I've been lucky enough to not get any of those.

Because I was not in the greatest mood yesterday I did not do very well on my speech. I feel like I did not act very friendly in a matter of engaging with the audience, so I plan on acting friendier toward people today. Like this poor girl asked me a question about where I got my shirt and I answered that I had no idea and that I didn't care much about fashion. Shit, she was just complimenting my shirt, I need to learn to take a compliment and not take myself so... excuse my wording here, damn serious. Lol just kidding, it's not that, I just honestly didn't know the answer to her question and my nervousness compounded on top of the nervousness of being up there.

Not that I'm afraid of my class or anything. It's just a different group of people. All of the comm majors. It's something that I'm taking to avoid taking technical writing because I already suffered through that at CBC. Lol that was Spring quarter, actually, that was a fun class. That quarter I hung out with Josh F. and Tyson B. before class. Then I met Corey B. and of course Guy.

Speaking of Guy!

I added him on facebook the other day. We're cool. He's doing shows, has a girlfriend and his baby that he probably see's on the weekends, and I'd assume he lives at least somewhat close to his ex.

But yeah, uh professional speaking class. Honestly yesterday I was sitting in class trying to study stats but my calculator buttons were too loud. I need to be a good listener in that class to get a good grade but when I'm the last one on the list and I'm so bored with anticipating for my speech that I wanted to do something productive.

It's just boring. It's nothing against the professor, he seems like a super nice guy and he's trying to make this as interesting as possible by letting us pick our own topics and such. Speaking of which I have an informative paper that I need to do... I'm considering talking about the recent change in affairs with North Korea and how they are basically threatening the US and the South right now. 

don't even read the next three paragraphs, seriously. This is for my own personal reference later.

I think that would be interesting. And specific enough. I will spend part of the presentation talking about the Juche philosophy, and the "Father Figure" and "God" Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong Un. I will talk about how both of them have passed away, and how Kim Jong Un is leader to a country in a desperate situation and in order to draw attention to themselves to make changes have called for war. Of course people have to encourage this in order to not be sent to death camps.

The end of the last remaining command system, communistic regime is coming close to an end! My friend Ethan is currently stationed in South Korea and he doesn't even seem too scared about it because he knows the lack of resources North Korea has. However these people have been so far indoctrinated that even with starvation, lack of electricity, and brainwashing in this secluded country, perhaps soldiers will fight.

The question is what will become of our military? Now what would be CRAZY is if something actually happens between now and the point that I make my speech. Granted it's not likely but literally the North Korean media has been broadcasting it's serious decision to go to war with the US (...oi vey) and South Korea to achieve "Reunification" and the worldwide spread of Juche philosophy. Now, any moron, especially the son of the "Greatest Godlike Surpreme Military Commander that Ever Lived Kim Jong Il", Kim Jong Un will know that the likelihood of this actually happening is worse now than ever. The Juche philosophy and insane dictatorship was barely conceivable in the 1950's when North Korea was actually ahead economically of it's South Korean counterpart, let alone today where the DPRK has been hit with massive floods, starvation and death of probably a third of it's population by this point (I will definately double check this when I am doing the presentation. Unfortunately because North korea is so secretive this information will more than likely not be available. It's not like North Korea has a census, individuals in their society don't matter!)


Alright anyway, tty guys later. Gonna go to my speech class now... blarggg

peace.

I give up, you look like a complete....

It's unfortunate that some people have to act so rudely to get through their every day life, even if that person is quite attractive. It's like girls that think they're just too hot for everyone so they choose to flaunt it by acting like a bitch to everyone without consequences. It's kind of nasty, honestly.

I'm happy I'm not one of these people. To be honest I just all around can't stand mean people. Like I will try to find the good in anyone but the second that you act straight out mean and hateful toward people for whatever irrational reason you're only setting yourself up to be a very alone person.

I don't know, just something on my mind right now...I just wish it wasn't this person's girlfriend that didn't hate me automatically. And she posted this picture today that was just... blegh, so dark and trashy looking--we're not on the same wavelength and I know that there's no way this person will ever like me or want me around in their personal life.

I'm making chicken. It's 7:10 and I haven't studied yet today but I did a very good job of staying alert in class today. That's a plus, thanks Rhodiola or whatever that stuff my sister's boyfriend is selling me.

It's an energizing multi-vitamin, very good! 

Well I went on Katelynn's facebook today and noticed that I am not the only person she's cut out of her life. She's also cut out all of Alan's other friends like Chint and Stu and is no longer friends with Shyanne either. I hate to say that I'm a little relieved because Katelynn has actually done this before when she has problems that she builds up and doesn't tell anyone.. but it usually doesn't extend to me. This time she's cut me out and just like Jon A. after they broke off their engagement I am totally bewildered. 

I just want her to be okay. I have no idea what's going on with her and nobody seems too. I presume Alan is the only one who knows and it's not like I'm going to ask him if she's doing okay because I respect her enough not to talk to her if that's what she wants.... But this has still been a hard adjustment for me to swallow. 

At least school is going well. My speech class is starting to look like it's going to be one of my easier classes. I really have no trouble speaking in front of people anymore. Youtube has helped with that and saying "uhm" and "uh" too much. I just need to remember good posture. I'm not scared. 

There's a lot of really flirty, hyper, tanned girls in there. Lol it seems like that's what the comm department is full of. 

My statistics class, oddly enough, has a lot of attractive people in it too. Maybe people just look better because they were out in the sun all spring break. I certainly was not. Getting a tan never even crossed my mind. I love being different that way.

peace.