I give myself permission to be useless on friday evenings

Hey all, it's 6:47 pm on a Friday...

I'm wondering what I should do tonight. I just texted Allie and hopefully I can get some sort of plan together. I'm going to put on another layer of that nice smelling tanning lotion. It actually works surprisingly well, and hasn't been all streaky and ridiculous looking. I'm sure the reason it used to look that way is because I was doing it poorly when I was in middle school and highschool, ha ha that and sports made me all sweaty so it would get all messed up.

Lol the last few days I've just been messing with Terry via text. I've discovered that our relationship is like mush, it doesn't look like it's going anywhere yet nothing's changed since we were initially into eachother at the beginning of this quarter. So that's been nice, really drama free for the most part... I mean most of the time we spent together we spent studying.

This morning I skipped economics because I felt unmotivated after spilling coffee all over my legs. Soo I fixed myself some more coffee, read my econ book for like 45 minutes then went to Stats. I felt like it was pretty lame of me to get up, get ready and skip class but it felt pretty worth it after it was over.

lab today went well! I barely needed any help, but when I reached some snags the redheaded girl that sits in front of me helped me out a lot. Yayy!!! And Sipic told us today that he has basically uploaded a format of EVERY. FREAKING. CONCEPT. that's going to be on the test. There is NO excuse for me not to knock this one out of the park and get a high grade in that class. And he did get my email by the way, but he told me he's been really busy. It seems like a lot of other students are hitting him up to be their adviser too.

He reminds me of Snape, like he made this poor lady feel like such an ass today for being out of line. It was like 11:15 or so in the computer lab and this probably 40-some year old lady (offf course...) comes marching in to get her papers out of the printer. 

"What are you doing?"-Sipic

"Oh I'm just printing some stuff from my other class!"-Knitted hat lady wearing rain coat

"We're have a class, I suggest get out of here as soon as possible"

Love it.

Well I was hoping Allie and I would go out tonight but she's going away this weekend. Damn it, like I said I'd really like to do something... I just wish I had other girls that I'd want to spend time with here. There's this one girl named Dominique in my speech class that seems really smart. She's cute and pretty clever too, and she hates that class as much as I do.I tried adding her on facebook yesterday.

Alright well, guitar time. I want more freaking episodes of intervention but I'm still broke til tomorrow. blagh why is my taste in shows so limited.

Maybe I'll write more later. If something comes up probably not, either way I'll tell you what ends up going on tonight. I'm curious myself. Will this be an interesting memorial day weekend? Or will I just be getting more work done to preoccupy myself? We shall see

peace. 

I give up, you look like a complete....

It's unfortunate that some people have to act so rudely to get through their every day life, even if that person is quite attractive. It's like girls that think they're just too hot for everyone so they choose to flaunt it by acting like a bitch to everyone without consequences. It's kind of nasty, honestly.

I'm happy I'm not one of these people. To be honest I just all around can't stand mean people. Like I will try to find the good in anyone but the second that you act straight out mean and hateful toward people for whatever irrational reason you're only setting yourself up to be a very alone person.

I don't know, just something on my mind right now...I just wish it wasn't this person's girlfriend that didn't hate me automatically. And she posted this picture today that was just... blegh, so dark and trashy looking--we're not on the same wavelength and I know that there's no way this person will ever like me or want me around in their personal life.

I'm making chicken. It's 7:10 and I haven't studied yet today but I did a very good job of staying alert in class today. That's a plus, thanks Rhodiola or whatever that stuff my sister's boyfriend is selling me.

It's an energizing multi-vitamin, very good! 

Well I went on Katelynn's facebook today and noticed that I am not the only person she's cut out of her life. She's also cut out all of Alan's other friends like Chint and Stu and is no longer friends with Shyanne either. I hate to say that I'm a little relieved because Katelynn has actually done this before when she has problems that she builds up and doesn't tell anyone.. but it usually doesn't extend to me. This time she's cut me out and just like Jon A. after they broke off their engagement I am totally bewildered. 

I just want her to be okay. I have no idea what's going on with her and nobody seems too. I presume Alan is the only one who knows and it's not like I'm going to ask him if she's doing okay because I respect her enough not to talk to her if that's what she wants.... But this has still been a hard adjustment for me to swallow. 

At least school is going well. My speech class is starting to look like it's going to be one of my easier classes. I really have no trouble speaking in front of people anymore. Youtube has helped with that and saying "uhm" and "uh" too much. I just need to remember good posture. I'm not scared. 

There's a lot of really flirty, hyper, tanned girls in there. Lol it seems like that's what the comm department is full of. 

My statistics class, oddly enough, has a lot of attractive people in it too. Maybe people just look better because they were out in the sun all spring break. I certainly was not. Getting a tan never even crossed my mind. I love being different that way.

peace. 

Jack's new bag.

Check out Jack's new bag.

Look at that big nose on her! Nice thin lips too, just the way you like it. 

And I say "bag" in the most literal sense possible because this bitch literally looks 30. On top of that she looks HUGE. Guess I'm not tall and mammoth enough for him. Of course there's some picture of them together and that was the most recent post on Jack's thing. I can't say for sure if they're together, but knowing him she's probably the hottest thing since sliced bread right now.

So that's it! My first experience with love! Fell in love, got led on and ditched three times. That's a lovely romantic story I'll tell my kids someday; which hopefully will have a father that won't leave me and I'll tell them about how happy I was that I moved on. 

Because I have too. I might only have feelings for one person, but he doesn't have any interest in me back, clearly, or he'd be talking to me and not her. I decided that I'm not going to delete him from my facebook this time. Let him witness the cool stuff I've been up too lately if he gets bored and lonely again. I'm not going to talk to him though, ever. I've said what I need to say, I'm more at peace with myself now with him than I've ever been. I just don't want him talking to me again if he's going to do this, and to be honest I don't think I would... I can never trust his intentions again. 

If he wants to be with ugly girls now though that's his business, it's almost humorous now. She's going to age SO badly, hahahaha, seriously what the Fuck Jack! xD What are you thinking?  

Today I'm planning on going to the park to meet up with Michael Zhang. We're going to tan, maybe I'll make myself a passion tea or something. I haven't played my guitar yet but I played practically all day yesterday. I'll probably just play all evening. 

peace.