Babysteps getting me through.

Hello everyone.

Let's see it's 10:40 pm, I've studied a total of 4 hours, 40 minutes today on a single subject. My goal is 7. Why seven? Today when I was studying in the hallway I heard one of Ghosh's students come out of a test they had today. He said to this other girl sitting there cramming, "I studied for like 7 hours and I still don't know if I'm ready..." Taking all my time combined this previous weekend I've spent 6 hours but I felt like most of it was playing catch up to where I should have been had I been keeping up with the material and my mind not in the clouds on prozac.

I didn't talk to Terry at all in Money and Banking and I noticed him kind of lingering after class and I thought he might ask if I wanted to study. I looked at him then shifted my glance and he asked Kevin P. I felt sort of this silent understanding that neither of us benefit much from studying together. It doesn't help either of us because Terry usually just tries to coattail onto what I'm doing and when I'm not 100% on the material I usually get too distracted by Terry's looks to think clearly.

Granted I still like sitting my Terry... being next to him always sort of gives me that "teenage crush" feeling even if I know it's not going anywhere. I have noticed this other guy in my econ class named Sam who I think is kind of cute though. He's blonde, nice build, seems really intelligent, doesn't have a facebook and once inquired about my tattoo... I sort of built up the courage to make small talk with him upon leaving today. We made small talk about the tests and I probably sounded like a paranoid goober as always.

So I totally missed the boat on halloween this year! 

(well I'll still get trick or treaters.... hopefully)

I mean I'll still be giving out candy on halloween and what not but everyone got wasted in costumes this last weekend. I missed my chance again!! Graaaaahhhhh!!! But for a good reason.. I know if I didn't rest and get work done this weekend I would have been freaking out right now. 

I do plan to wear my blue wig to Money and Banking on Thursday though, that will be really hilarious. I'm just planning on walking in like it's nothing. I also bought some blue tights. Maybe I'll wear my wig with black shirt, the blue tights with my black skirt... would that be too much for class? Probably. I'll have decided on that by Thursday morning I'm sure.

God I have been NEGLECTING reading my public finance book... Luckily the stuff that Sipic has talked about this past week or so has been really straight forward. I never feel lost during his lectures like I do during managerial.. I hate that feeling so much. I've planning on doing all of my homework for that class Wednesday night... Then I've got probably three hours of studying AFTER my big Managerial test to study for a money and banking quiz on Tuesday.

So yeah really all I've been doing is working today. Work, smoke, sometimes a little guitar, work, eat.... Last night I got invited to my friend Tyler H.'s house to enjoy some drops and watch South Park. His roommate was really cool too and their place was super pretty and clean on the inside... No offense to Tyler but I didn't know what to expect-- he's kind of... earthy I guess. 

Lol I don't tell him this but he also kind of reminds me of a hobbit... He's just really happy with his life, simple things, loves the outdoors... 

Happy he's my friend. I hope I get to hang out with him again soon. Little kickbacks like that are very much preferred to me than going and drinking with a bunch of loud people. 

Alright guess that's all I had to say, people. Wish me luck tomorrow... Having done over 4 hours I'm definitely feeling more confident than I did yesterday but I still have a ton of technical problems/applied problems to do before I'm ready.

 I'm planning to try another couple hours tonight... I know that the marginal utility of my studying diminishes the more hours I do so I don't know what good it'll do me but any work I do tonight will save me work I have to do after Money and Banking tomorrow.

peace. 

Metallica is in my soul

Hello.

Well it's 10:25. I had a pretty good day at work and came home and got in some really solid practice time. My practice sessions have become more structured like they were last summer and I am able to fully focus on what I'm working on. Unfortunately there are a lot of songs that I want to play around with but
I should really be focusing on Master of Puppets. I don't know when that recital is but I hope not any time too soon... It's been super fun to learn so far.

Today work was rather tedious and slow paced but it gave me a better chance to get a hang of the register. I got two credit card apps today so I'm pumped. There's incentive for me to do well because it gets me more hours. More hours = more money. My Dad likes to buy his t-shirts at jcpenny anyways so I'm going to have him do a "Findmore" and have it shipped to the store... lol so silly. The way I see it the company doesn't care who's buying the stuff and he'd buy the damn things anyway.

Here's me looking goofy this morning before work. dur dur dur... 

Anyway went into work this morning at like 11'. There's nothing up saying where I need to be so I went to Kids because that's where I was hired originally. I met a couple of the ladies that also worked in kids who honestly weren't as talkative to me as my previous coworkers I've met which is kind of nice. 

No hating though, seriously!! I want to go back to working downstairs in Women's dresses. But being upstairs has let me get used to the register. So that was a good choice today I feel even if I did miss working with my buddy Kevin, ha ha ha.

Lmfao, I need to tell you guys about Kevin.

He's this kid that got hired at the same time that I did. I added him on facebook and this is the picture that stood out to me the most... ha ha ha. Yeah he was a male cheerleader back in the day. That's intense though, that's a real sport. I mean check that girl out on top, that takes major athleticism. Anyway he's 17 and just graduated highschool. Very sweet person and apparently really smart. He's kind of goofy though and we crack eachother up.

ANYWAY. We both showed up to work kind of early so we were just chatting about whatever for about 20 minutes. I told him a little about myself and my hobby and tried to guess what he was into. He told me that he Didn't really have any hobbies because he was always sort of shadowed. I was like seriously? Idk, I guess I was sort of in the same boat. I immediately told him that he should take up an instrument with A sharp and went on about a schpeel about how it's helped everything in my life and yadda yadda yadda...

Seriously when I'm talking about where I get guitar lessons I think people might get the impression I'm trying to get them to join a cult. I'm just so serious about what people like Jake have openned my eyes too. I feel like musicians like Luke Jaeger, John Petrucci, Kirk Hammitt, chimp spanner, John Satriani, Michael Romeo, etc etc the list goes on and on.. All these guitarists have metal running through their blood and it brings together souls that know real pain. And even if it's not metal-- I mean most great guitarists play loads of genres just for the Hell of it.... guitar is just something magical. It's complete euphoria for me to be able to just be able to practice all day lately.

Luke actually lives in Seattle, so there could be a possibility of getting in touch with him.

I don't actually know him aside from through Jake. He's an outrageous guitar player. like Insanely blow your f*cking head off good. I want to know all about his story and how he got to this point and eventually would like to get some lessons from him if I move up that direction. It's not likely that he's going to stick around Seattle for that long though. He gives Skype lessons like Jake but he probably charges higher because I'm sure he doesn't even like teaching.

No, okay lemme back up... I'm not saying he wouldn't be a crazy good teacher. I'm just saying a lot of guitar players actually don't like teaching the basics. I've only been playing for two years and Jake has taught me a ton and still has a lot to teach me. Like before I stop taking lessons with Jake I need to know all the notes on the fretboard like the back of my hand, know way more scales, go back to working on arpeggios, different types of chords... There's still a ton of stuff that we haven't covered that I know Luke would probably be bored with. Luke teaches only other professionals. Jake enjoys teaching students that are more experienced as well. 

I've just been consumed by guitar and work lately. That's it guys. 

peace. 

I've got this under control, But there's no guarantee

Damn, so I told you guys the other day that Terry said Economics is the best specialization competitively.. That's really sat in my mind, so I sent my stats teacher an email on it because he's actually an economics adviser to see what he thinks. He hasn't responded back so I feel like a goob, of course I reread the way that I wrote that email like 5-6 times to make sure it didn't sound weird. He's probably really busy and I can't expect some immediate response. I just feel like I've bugged him more than I've bugged any professor ever.

It's not just my competitiveness with Terry that causes me to contemplate these decisions, it was more my overall experience this quarter. If I do switch over to economics from Finance I am not going to tell Terry because it'll look weird.


So maybe I'll be doing an economics specialization with a MINOR in finance.

I'm not looking forward to my stats lab tomorrow at all so I'm going to kind of study how to do the linear regression models on excel beforehand so I don't get lost on it tomorrow. My A is looking pretty good even with that low exam score-- 20% of the final grade is going to be based on an excel assignment that we turn in. If I can get some help from Kevin P. to make sure I'm on the right track that'd be really helpful.

This is Kevin P., aka Peter Parker from me because he's saved me on a few assignments that I haven't been able to get this year. 

Not saying I'm going to ask him to practically do it for me. In fact I plan on doing an online tutorial on youtube-- how about THAT... But no seriously, Kevin is really smart and he always knows the correct way to do things. He's better at reading directions than I am.

ZZZZZZZPPPPPTTTTTTT

Lol I was taking weird pictures this morning.

Pointing is rude in a lot of cultures so obviously I didn't post this, but I figure why the Hell wouldn't I post it here it's not like anyone really reads this. Or do you, for anyone that does that's super cool-- I don't proofread much when I write these.

..Which can occasionally get me into trouble. I found an old entry and felt super humiliated because it was SUPER open... I have no idea if I was drunk or depressed or super emotional when I was writing that night but GOOD God... I would never, ever be as open with this blog as I did with that entry nowdays. And it makes me wonder what else is back there, but I don't want to look.

Old entries are like old skeletons. I want to be able to dig them up someday when I'm old and be able to indiscriminately read because I'm older and wiser than I am as I'm writing these entries. Like I can read blog entries that I wrote on myspace a long time ago and not feel too embarrassed, but if I find something from 2011 that's super bias or gives off the wrong message I contemplate deleting it because I don't want people to think that's what I represent now. 

Whatever. I'm human, this is a good outlet, I'll say whatever I want on a given day for the most part.

I feel like everyone around me is so sick of school

It's like the weather sucks so bad here in Ellensburg that everyone wants to go home where it's warmer. It's so hard to get motivation when it's rainy so I haven't been doing much of anything but sit around and study. Really these rainy days couldn't have come at a better time because I'm not tempted to go anywhere. Meh... unless it's above 70 degrees I'm pretty good with the indoors. 

Alright it's guitar time. Gotta lesson today, hell yea!!!

peace.