Cleaning out my closet (or my mom's computer), my Japanophile phase pictures.

I feel so flattered today!

I posted a picture that I took in my room this morning because I figured I needed a new default, something a little less black and white to lighten things up. I posted the picture and it has like 18 likes on it. I don't really know why someone "liking" something should mean anything, but it does make me very complimented. Speaking of changes, I think I might change the background on this blog. It's all very clique and I like to change it up every so often. Not like anyone reads this thing anyway. Don't blame them, this is super boring. To be honest I prefer it this way.

Onto today's topic!



"Beauty and the Beast seemed like it all was really brown. The whole thing was just so brown and orange and yellow, like Burger King or something. I don't think I would have liked Beauty and the Beast at any age."
-Mike Judge(an awesome quote I heard earlier, completely unrelated, but the picture is.)

I absolutely cannot stand anything bento or "kawaii" related anymore. Because Kawaii itself is a breed of animation and products that can't be matched by anything in the West yet, I've just reached an absolute burnout. Seeing this picture above of a bento box makes me laugh at how much time and effort I put into those stupid little things! They provided barely any food and sometimes I would put items in there just for show because they looked good and knew damn well that later it wouldn't be very tasty. Ugh, I tried. Deleted on my mom's computer, thought I'd further immortalize it online. I'm trying to clear out some of the seas of images I've stored on this poor device. I'll just upload the ones that stand out.

When I was shopping for a cosplay dress, I saved this because I thought it was cute. That ridiculous thing. What the Hell was I thinking?

Yeah, no. Good ridance to that, forever.

Never uploaded because I hate this picture of me.

This is actually me this summer. Uhm, yeah, I think I'm going to start wearing at least some tinting lotion good lord, it was NOT nessasary to strive to be that pale in freaking July.

A sort of cute picture of me that I never uploaded and now I don't see why, it's a lot better than the picture that I did choose because God forbid you should actually see a little of my top lip. That's another thing, the top lip thing that I do in pictures is something I copied from none other than....

Fucking magibon!!! See a resemblance?

www.youtube.com/mririan

Yeah, wasn't too real about my personality there for awhile. I wanted so badly to be like Magibon, or Margaret Adams. Cute, shy, almost nervous... emulating a Japanese "kawaii" persona in a Western world. It inspired me to the point that I actually decided to LEARN Japanese, and it pushed me up until this point.

This point that I started playing guitar (this started around Christmas. Solid hour a day, THAT was the rule) and realized that music interested me a lot more than Japanese things. I wanted to learn all about it and experience it, as I'd always been envious of people that could shred on guitar. I decided that what the Hell, i'm going to actually put in the practice time to do this. This was a very good decision because it has helped my confidence significantly to develop a skill that nobody can take away from me. That, and coming closer to graduation and facing the REAL world.

I'm like, humiliated posting these you guys I'm not going to lie.

I'm not going to say that Magibon didn't have a possitive influence. When I discovered her videos, I was in the stage where I was wearing.. well, GUYS shirts-- black band shirts that covered everything, it was basically like a niqab of my femininity. I felt like I had something to prove my Junior year or so, after going through the Hell of my sophomore year I just wanted people to know I didn't give a shit anymore about what they thought and I was done trying to do myself up for them.

So because of Magibon's influence, I started really getting into cutesy Japanese style, mannerisms, and developing a way to become a mystery to people. But that's not me. I'm not a mystery, I'm an open book. I love to talk, listen. Watch some of Magibon's videos, she doesn't do ANYTHING! She just sits there, stares at the camera, and says a few very basic things in Japanese. It's worked for her very well, she's become almost a figurehead in Japan, had her 15 minutes of fame I guess. But that's her. I'm me. Granted, there are some really cute Japanese clothes and such and I will continue to dress as I please, I do not intend on trying to be something I'm not. I'm happy with myself and feel I look the most beautiful in yoga pants or a black tank top and jeans.

Edit: August 25th. I am not an open book by any means any more, actually I am a mystery to most people I work with and go about day to day life with because I no longer share unnessasary information with people that really don't need to know. It took me awhile to learn how to control things that I said. Really only over the last year have I become less of a "negative nancy" or someone that just... says too much. I can't explain it. I'm happy Magibon helped me be quiet so I could step back and realize the way I was behaving. 

So thank you Magibon for getting me back into looking feminine. In my first encounters with Jack, I was in the band shirt phase but then over time when I was with him I actually WANTED to look good. So she came along right at the correct time I suppose and long after me and Jack stopped hanging out I started dressing a lot cuter. Now I'm sort of in limbo. I don't wear band shirts very often, I have a couple and occasionally I'll wear my old ones to work out or go running. I'm not too preppy or accessorized either.





I often find misc pictures from cosplay conventions that I saved for some use. Deleting these...

It goes without saying that I no longer want to cosplay. I am going to continue to comment people's photos, though. The only possibility that I might cosplay once more is if I go to RadCon again, because you sort of have open territory to dress however you want. As for anime conventions specifically, I'm done cosplaying. To be honest I can't even remember the last time I watched an entire episode of anime, aside from Sailor Moon at the beginning of the year. I watched like 12 episodes of it and I was DONE. But do I enjoy hearing about it from my friend Samantha? Yeah, it's a neat story and it's actually cool to hear about and I love the animation. But I just don't have the time to sit down and watch that stuff. I'm so preoccupied with everything else and like it that way.

I guess the best way to describe how I live now could be related to Confucius, a Chinese philosipher that teaches for people to strive to be the absolute best they can be and live their lives to their fullest potential. This is often why Chinese, Korean, Japanese and Thai people work as hard as they do. Unlike mainstream Confucianism followers, however, I'm not Asian, and I don't have parents that could potentially disown me if I don't do perfectly. I just work extremely hard and obsess on perfection, but it doesn't mean I have an OCD. I'm happy I recently discovered what Confucianism is because it made me feel less abnormal. Like, I'm abnormally hard on myself and I thought it was an OCD.

2012 has been such a good year so far.

I talked to my mom today about getting ahold of Western about my rooming situation. She said that they APPROVED my housing!! WOO! So we are AHEAD of the game, and because I already submitted which building I wanted months ago, I'm now good to go.

I decided not to use the MyRoomate system online because I want to keep my roomates a mystery. I sort of want to get paired with random people so I can get the experience sans the predictability of MyRoomate. It's probably a good idea though so I don't get a Kelsey. Or worse. I could get some morman that gets pissed off about my pot smoking. Which reminds me, I have no idea how I'm going to smoke up there. This might be silly because it's such a liberal school. I don't know, i'm crossing my fingers that I get a room with a window of some sort.

I am not applying to be on a quiet floor because I can work around loud noises. I have in my own house before and at school, it shouldn't be a problem. I'd much rather have the freedom to come and go as I please than not, because I'm not a sneaky person you guys.. 

I won't say that I'm not still fascinated with the anime subculture.

And I have met some really awesome people!

But I just don't feel like I relate to this anymore.

Being a guest at one of these cons was one thing but actually volunteering was an entirely different story. I really did not have a good time this year, it was a ton of work at the maid cafe and after it was over I felt a little silly/embarrised about having walked around serving a bunch of guys in costumes and closet lolitaphiles for hours on end. And I'd driven to Spokane to do this! Very interesting experience. It cracks me up that Guy Stevens was trying to get ahold of me when I was posting these pictures that are considered completely wacky by mainstream society, but when I look back on it now he wasn't any big deal at all and don't know why I was so enamoured.

In all of this let me say that I do not discredit anyone who chooses to be into Kawaii things, anime, etc. I don't feel like I am better than anyone for no longer liking it because everyone has the right to do what they want to do and shouldn't be harrassed for it if it's not hurting anyone.

I just felt like sharing that, I guess. Waiting for Avis to get home. I've still gotta do my hour of "Freeplay" on the guitar but I'm done after that for the night because I already got post of my picking exercises done in the morning. I don't know if I'm getting better or not, I'd hope so. I hope I'm also practicing enough for what Jacob said we're going to start on this upcoming Wednesday. I never really know what's good enough.

Got a 92 on a Japanese test because of all my craptastic particle usage. Damn, it's like, I know the vocabulary and the grammar to the point that I can confidently put things together, but when it comes down to the minor details and kanjis... errg! I can read kanjis fine, but they have to be in some sort of context or I'm screwed. Furigana is always nice too.

Alrighty well gtg, sister is here with groceries.

peace







21 hours is MORE than I work in a week.

Wow, blogger created a new layout that I don't like. Thanks Google.

Now that I've wasted a couple minutes figuring out how to post this, i'm gonna post how many minutes I did this week on the guitar and see if I beat last weeks.

This week I got pretty fast at arpeggios and 2-string sweep picking. Unfortunately yesterday I was a complete dumbass and slammed my finger into the door so my arpeggios are a little bit slower and sloppier because of the pain. It sucks. It's gotten a lot better since yesterday though so hopefully if I run through them a little bit in the car before my lesson I'll be able to get that same speed. yes, I'll play in the car... what a nerd, haha. Last minute perfectionist attitude.

Alrighty, so here's my minute totals.

4/18: 190 min
4/19: 160 min
4/20: 200 min
4/21: 170 min
4/22: 200 min
4/23: 175 min
4/24: 190 min
_____________
1285 min
21 hours

Wow. And the thing is, that's not an exageration, at all. I time EVERYTHING and I pause the timer anytime I leave to go do something (unless it's just to go pee or something, that barely takes a minute). Only sixty minutes a day of the goal (180) is freeplay, the rest is just practicing all the picking exercises.

I don't know if my playing actually matches the amount of time I spend doing this in a week.. I can barely hear an improvement in my overall playing, but I like to think it sounds a little bit cleaner now. This week I worked on the song "Unforgiven" by Metallica, and it's done for the most part aside from the solo.

well, better get going. Gonna go get a bagel at Some Bagels, yum! I've got a big Japanese exam tomorrow that i'm not too excited for but I'll do fine if I squeeze an hour in tonight and another two tomorrow morning.

peace.

My wheels in constant motion . . .

This is my current cover photo on facebook.

I'm not particularily religious, but I think this is clearly about marijuana and I found that sort of funny that I've never heard anyone mention this before. It could potentially offend someone, but I doubt it. It's not like I captioned this "HEY LOOK GUYZ POT!!!" I'm just gonna leave this up for a couple days and see if anyone notices or "gets" it. I could be wrong, maybe it's not about marijuana at all. Lol or people that are totally naive are going to think I'm going super religious. Nope! I'm a spiritual person, but not religious by any means.

I've been listening to the Systematic Chaos CD by Dream Theater and so far I'm super impressed. I looove the song Constant Motion. I would love to learn how to play it and blow Logan's brain off, bah haha. That reminds me that Robert's party is going to be on Saturday. He said it's not going to be a guitar thing but almost everyone that he's inviting plays guitar so I'd assume I should have some sort of plan in case Robert asks me to play. It sucks though, I can't actually play WITH them because I'm not good enough (well, that, and I don't know any of the songs that they've learned to play together). Like, they know a lot of songs from the Black album by Metallica. I like Metallica and everything, but to actually take the time and learn how to play their songs takes a LOT of initiative.

 In order for me to spend hours upon hours learning a song, I need to make sure it's something I won't get too sick of.

1.	"Enter Sandman"	Hetfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammett	5:31
2.	"Sad But True"	Hetfield, Ulrich	5:24
3.	"Holier Than Thou"	Hetfield, Ulrich	3:47
4.	"The Unforgiven"	Hetfield, Ulrich, Hammett	6:26
5.	"Wherever I May Roam"	Hetfield, Ulrich	6:44
6.	"Don't Tread on Me"	Hetfield, Ulrich	3:59
7.	"Through the Never"	Hetfield, Ulrich, Hammett	4:05
8.	"Nothing Else Matters"	Hetfield, Ulrich	6:28
9.	"Of Wolf and Man"	Hetfield, Ulrich, Hammett	4:16
10.	"The God That Failed"	Hetfield, Ulrich	5:07
11.	"My Friend of Misery"	Hetfield, Ulrich, Jason Newsted	6:49
12.	"The Struggle Within"	Hetfield, Ulrich	3:52

Track list for the black album. Thanks Wikipedia.

I've liked almost all of these songs at one point, aside from of Wolf and Man and Through the Never. All of these songs are good, but to hear them over and over and over... This week I've been learning The Unforgiven because I think those guys know that one and it's not too hard. That, and it's standard tuning. I made a goal this week that I'd work on one song that's standard tuning, because Drop C is a pain in the ass to get down too and it requires me to GO ONLINE and tune the damn guitar down before i can play anything. Maybe I should get one of those portable tuners.  

Connor told me that I definately need to start picking up acoustic again, and I'm beginning to think he's right, it'd definately help me be more well rounded. Problem is, the frets are so far spaced and it's hard to find a song that I like on acoustic. Unforgiven might actually sound pretty cool, though.

I'll stop talking about that.

Japanese today was good, even if Taylor and Sean harrassed me about using a smartwater bottle. Taylor was like, "Are you trying to be cool with that? That smartwater bottle?" which I responded "Yup!! is it working?" He he. They shut up about it after that.

I'm gonna get going, getting hungry and light headed.

peace.

current party invite list, and the weird greasy bakesale.

Another week passed, hello week 3 of Spring Quarter. Yeah, week 3? Something.

I'm still just... so unexplainably thrilled with the fact that I'm only taking one class at CBC, though part of me wishes I wasn't taking ANY classes but that'd cause burnout of this guitar hobby pretty fast if I didn't get a chance to get out every day. This week has been going okay, I've been playing as much as I can every day and I've been improving little by little with the alternate picking and arpeggios. The alternate picking is a lot easier for me because you barely even have to touch the strings but the arpeggios are hard because you almost have to pull on your previous string as if you're strumming but still have a clean, muffle free sound. Very tricky, I hope I get a half decent grasp of it by the end of this week.

It's not nearly as difficult to play for long periods of time anymore. Sometimes I'll cramp up a little in the shoulder but that's the extent of it.

So, here's my current open for revisions invite list for my party in June. This is in no particular order, though I'll try to categorize by how I've interacted with these people..

Current Invite List

1. Katelynn C.

2. Alan Y.

Best friend and her boyfriend, yeah!

3. Samantha

4. Shawn G.

5. Kevran R.

6. Rachelle G.

7. Aaron

Shawn and Samantha, of course. Kevran because we've been cool whenever I've gone over to "House." Rachelle and Aaron because they're badass, and fun

8. Abby S.

9. Taylor M.

10. Nathan S.

11. Gillian J.

12. Rhiannon J.

13. Tucker G.

14. Josh H.

15. Daisy M.

16. Caitlyn Sweeney

17. Kat L.

Oh shit it's the drama kids. Ha ha, well, I can honestly say the Johanson's have thrown some awesome parties so I hope mine can match up. I also hope Kat L. can come to the tri cities for it, she's hella fun to party with too.

18. Betsy W.

19. Caitlyn C.

20. Nathanael T.

21. Phil M.

22. Sean M.

23. Jon S.

24. Andrew W.

25. Hannah S.

26. Ashley B.

27. Alex (Shiro)

28. Brenna A.

Japanese class kids, yahoo!! haha

29. JJ

30. Thor B.

31. Cameron L.

32. Jessika B.

33. Louie

34. Patrick F.

35. Mitch H.

36. Heather

37. David (Heather's Bf)

38. Josh F.

39. Josh F.'s girlfriend Melanie

40. Kevin S.

41. Nate J.

People I've met at CBC, and people I've partied with

42. Denae

43. Jimmy

Sister's best friend and boyfriend, we can assume we'll be there helping out.

44. Geoff W.
45. Sheldon M.

46. Brittney D.

47. Robert M.

48. Chelsea C.

49. Dylan L.

50. Skyler F.

51. Tyler D.

52. Brad P.

53. Megan P.

54. Amanda B.

55. Mitch M.

56. Eugene M.

57. Lindy C.

People I forgot to mention earlier but are DEFINATELY invited too.

You might notice Katharine is "not invited." That's only because she's going to be in Los Angeles, if she's in town she's still of course welcome to come. This is a list of people that I almost know for sure if told in advance would be able to come to this because they're not moving or going on vacation that weekend that I know of.

Yup it's gonna be a hell of a time if I plan early, make sure everything is good to go when it starts, etc etc... It's pretty exciting. Like I said before, planning on getting a big projector set up in the backyard and have dubstep going by using Spotify radio. I'm also going to borrow a trampoline, set up a buffet table, and just let people go free and see what happens. It won't be boring and awkward with that many people, I can assure. There was some awkward standing around last year at the Japanese club party thing but it was still a success. I want this year to be WAY better, wee!

It's 7:00 pm. I worked until 3 today, typical Sunday shift. Got home and cooked myself something to eat and played guitar for an hour. I'm about to do some... YOU GUESSED IT!! exercise!! Then I better do a couple Japanese assignments. Didn't party this weekend, either. Guess I didn't feel a need too. I guess the stress of gas prices is making me more adapted to being at home when I'm not working, driving or at school.

I didn't end up buying Samantha a prom dress, reason being we drove all around the tri cities looking for a dress and we couldn't find any that fit or were the correct color. You'd be surprised how hard it is for anyone outside the thin frame to find a dress to wear. I don't think Samantha's body is abnormal by any means. We walked around 4th street in Pasco, the mall in Kennewick, David's Bridal, and back to her boyfriend's house. We're talking about $15 of gasoline in one day. I offered an alternative option of maybe taking a road trip instead of prom but she's really wanting to go to it. I did my best, but I honestly gave up. I hope Rachelle can help her out, I know she will and Samantha will look great and everything will work out perfectly in the end. I know it. But now, I need to focus on my own life and finances...

This upcoming Wednesday I won't have to pay for the lesson but the following week I will have to cash out $80. I've still been doing well on the dishes. Keeping up this routine has kept the house pretty tidy though when I get done with this blog I should probably sweep up my room. It's getting pretty narly in here, makes you realize how much filth is in the floors. I want to get them nice and clean for the new week.

What a boring life!! : P He he, my life was a *little* more interesting last Spring when I was taking Math 96 with Josh Fischer in the mastrabator kid's class. "Good job Chris!" Hahaha, poor Mr. Zhang.. Wow, that means it's almost been a year since the Guy Stevens insident started. That does seem like a long time ago now, in maturity, self worth, patience, etc etc... The end is in sight now, and I'm happy I'm done with bullshit, shady people like that.

I've been using rubbing alcohol on my fingertips to create calluses three times a day. It dries my skin up so it helps build resistance faster.Bought it at Rite Aid for $3.99, wowowow!!!

Oh GOD, that reminds me...





rite aid had a freaking bakesale.

Those are the cookies I brought for it. They sold almost immediately, and were the first things to go! I knew it, who could resist, they're SOOO darling. I snapped this picture before work and uploaded it to facebook saying I got em at Viera's. They didn't taste too bad either, a little crunchy for my taste, and Mexican cookies tend to be a little bland, but overall pretty good. Anyway, MORE money for Children's Hospital. It was Claudia's idea, she set up the bakesale in the store on the back counter, which I thought was a little bizarre because.... uhm, who has a bakesale indoors? Especially when it was BEAUTIFUL outside.

That's besides the point though. Very sweet point, a little creepy, but sweet... and she left all the sweets on the side counter today with a tag that says "Pay at Register" so suddenly I'm selling baked goods along with people's Colon-Ade.

Idk it's all very weird. I gtg, gonna wash my face and do some cardio.

peace.



18 hours later, my fingers are feeling a little dead.

i'm too lazy to write exactly what I practiced this week and how many minutes I put into each specific thing, but my practicing consisted of: Alternate picking patterns (four of them, 20 minutes a day each), a chord packet with three pages, some arpeggio exercises, and 60 minutes of free play. I'm going to put this on my blog just in case I lose the clipboard that has all my info on it.

Total time practiced:
Wednesday, 4/11: 110 min
Thursday, 4/12: 140 min
Friday, 4/13: 164 min
Saturday, 4/14: 160 min
Sunday, 4/15: 150 min
Monday,4/16: 160 min
Tuesday, 4/17: 190 min
____________________
Total this week:  1074 minutes
18 hours

I'm pretty proud. 18 hours is a week is more than twice I was doing before (one hour a day, 7 hours a week). This week I learned Spiders at full speed and did all the crazy warmup exercises he had me do. I hope this is enough, and I hope more than anything that I don't screw up when I try to play..

Ugh, creepy guy in the library just looked over at me with tattoos and chains everywhere and he looks only a little younger than my Dad. Some adults can be so creepy.

The library is so nice to kill time in. I had a hot coffee and a chai scone filled with chocolate chips. Not very healthy, I know, but I've gotta treat myself once and awhile. Damn my abs look great by the way! I found the greatest video recently by a woman named Tiffany Rothe. Mix this with some Glitch Mob dubstep and I am good to go.

Super excited that tomorrow is payday and I'm going to take miss Samantha out SHOPPING!! I'm sure I've mentioned this before that I'm taking Samantha prom dress shopping. I'm actually considering taking her over to Portland now instead of just the tri cities. My Dad is going on a business trip and has a hotel that he's barely going to use. I am debating taking someone or just riding along with my dad and spending the day wandering the city by my lonesome. Err... that's probably not a grand idea. But who  would I take with me on a Sunday night? My dad wants me to go for a whole week with him. Yeaah like that's going to happen, bad idea.

Jack added me on facebook, again. I don't know if the add request was new or if it was just the old one he claimed to had sent before. I accepted it, why the Hell not I don't have any grudge with him anymore, especially after coming clean with him about my disgust with the whole Jessica situation, but that's life.I doubt we'll be hanging out anytime soon, but it's just nice to be on decent terms. Fuck, might as well add Guy Stevens on facebook too, add ALL my sortof ex's.

I like not being mad at anyone or having anyone mad at me... Sometimes me and Sean McIntyre argue in class but it's never anything serious. At least I'd hope he doesn't think of it that way. He's such a dick sometimes but he's so fun to mess around with. It's sort of a battle of wits, haha.

Japanese is going pretty well. I finally made the announcement on my youtube (and also to my facebook wall) that the Japanese thing is done. I'm really not interested in learning the language anymore, though it's been a fantastic experience in itself and I wish everyone that continues to learn it the best of luck! Ganbate~ Too lazy to convert that over because I'm in the library... DO YOUR BEST! :o)

My calluses are building up!! It doesn't hurt to play as badly anymore, which I'm very thankful for because the first day was atrocious. I feel like I can play for a good hour now without having to take a break. I typically choose to take a little five minute break every 20 minutes or so unless i'm working on something that I REALLY want to get done. This morning I squeezed in 50 minutes before school, but then I had to go study. I wish I got a chance to warmup beforehand...

Well, gonna go browse around facebook for awhile. I've got an hour or so to kill before this timer runs out and I head over there.. Hopefully this scone won't cause me an epic sugar rush and crash.

peace.

Even if I experience it, not believe I did it? xD

My mind works in funny ways.

It's Saturday, 9:00 pm... haven't got an idea what anyone is doing tonight, nor do I *really* care,  though if someone did bring it up I can't say I wouldn't go out. I saw Josh a couple times at work today and he insisted I swing by his house after work but he couldn't guarentee he'd be there because he had to run his nephew home or something. I don't really know, but he wasn't home, which made me look creepy to his mom who was outside watering the plants. He's going out of town tomorrow. Errk, he's busy like I am, so I don't want it to seem like I'm coming onto him too hard or something. Idk, best lay low for awhile. I am really starting to like him though. He's chill, really easy to talk too.. likes the same kind of music as me, huge plus.. doesn't take himself too seriously but isn't insecure. Also major plus. Meep.

Alright so guitar! Fourth day of this bootcamp schedule and going strong. I almost find it hard to believe that I've already gotten in two hours of solid playing today. I measure this by setting a stopwatch online.

This is what the stopwatch looks like. It's so ugly I can't help but love it.

http://www.online-stopwatch.com/world-games-running/

I also usually have a songsterr tab up as well as a metronome. I've yet to figure out exactly the proper way to use a metronome, but I've been doing the picking exercises for 80 minutes a day... they're extremely tedious and unsatisfying.. and I'm hoping it's benefitting me in some way because it gets so painful, too.

The hand gripper IS helping, though. Like my left hand feels a little stronger than yesterday and my fingertips aren't hurting as badly when I play. I know it sounds silly to worry about this, but it really handicapped my ability to play for long periods of time. The impulse purchase is becoming pretty handy.

I'll continue working at it.

Tomorrow I also definately need to study some kanji, vocab, etc etc.... I'm not gonna lie guys, I'm getting pretty tired of Japanese. I just feel like my mind is now openning up to other things that interest me more, like music and exercise (what I've been doing in practically all my spare time for a couple months now). I'm also getting really excited about my new discovery, the Human Services major that is. I think it might also be wise for me to pick a minor that more specializes my degree and puts me ahead of the game for hiring purposes. Like if I specialized in drug and alcohol dependency. Very excited for things to come, and as this old chapter in my life ends a new one will begin. Still going to have a little bit of trouble getting rid of the bento stuff, and if it comes to it finally cutting from the Japanese thing once and for all.

Will I ever regret it? I don't know. It's a second language, should I just continue to take it just because the knowledge will benefit me later in life? As my interest for the cultural aspects, anime, cosplay, whatever.. gets thinner and thinner, it's harder for me to learn it. Shit.



I'm not stressing guys, no worries. I feel fine, very good in fact. I'm gonna work out for awhile.

peace.

Today has been a good day so far. Sort of productive, I suppose. I got up at about 7 today, took a shower, and played from about 8-9 or so. I had some breakfast, got ready, and watched this show called Lincoln Heights. Really good show on some BET channel. Really enjoyed it. I watched a bunch of random shows today, and brought my guitar into the living room to practice the picking patterns while watching this show I was hooked on. Managed to get about 2 hours of playing in so far, that's ten minutes more than last night. The goal that he set is 180 minutes a day, so I'm going to do those last forty minutes later. I'm really happy I'm not taking accounting, this is like a whole class for me.

So this was an impulse purchase but now I'm super glad I bought it.

It's a little $10 hand exerciser thing that you can use to exercise each individual finger and I believe it also sort of helps build calluses. I like this thing because it fits comfortably in your hand and doesn't make an annoying noise or anything. I actually keep it with me in my pocket at work and use it while I stand at the register bored out of my mind. I also use it when I drive home, or just whenever I don't have to use my left hand. Oh wow that sounds disgusting. 

I don't know if it works yet. I'll have to post if it does or not later. Right now, my pinky can't push the whole button down because there's too much resistance and I guess if I'm sometime able to do that we'll know that it works. It's sort of a nice little ADHD thing too.. 

Alright well I gtg, me and mom are going into town

$20 papers flying all over the damn parking lot.

Oh hell, today I've played so much. Longest I've ever played thanks to the hard regime that Jacob set up for this week. I'm excited to say that the first lesson went well. It was an hour long because one of his lessons skipped out, so I probably got way more out of it than I should of. Me and him got along really well right off the bat and he showed me how to hold the damn guitar correctly! Thank God!! I'm so tired of not knowing for sure. My posture still needs work, as does everything else... But still, I'm excited to really work at this.

He gave me a big stack of papers-- practice logs, guides, chords, exercises that he handwrote, etc etc... I had printed some tabs from earlier that I had been messing around with throughout the last week (Under a Glass Moon by Dream Theater... which is WAY out of my league but it's fun to try and get little bits and pieces) and stacked Jacob's papers on top of them when I left. When I went out to my car, I'd stacked the papers under a little hard exercise device I'd bought as I raffled through my purse to find my keys. They were lost in a sea of junk. AH-HA! Found them!! Okay, walk over to unlock the door, and whooosh... papers, everywhere. It was a windy day so I had ALL the papers flying around. I was so lucky that the only ones that managed to get away were the tabs that I'd printed earlier. Still, I thought I had gotten all of them and then another one would pop up. This happened a couple times... I'm pretty sure I got all of them. I hope. Still, stupid. I need a new freaking purse so I can stop worrying about losing my stuff in it's mess all the time.

My first day of NOT having accounting went excellent! I'm happy to say that I'm now *sort of* on break! I mean, I've only got one class, Japanese... one that I've got total control over, and now that I have so much time to study it'll be a total breeze. My work schedule is consistantly boring and drawl but I can deal with it because I know how much I get paid. With accounting out of the way I can now practice as much as I'd like too. There's no reason that I shouldn't practice every day unless I'm being lazy as Hell. I've got no real intentions of going anywhere trip wise. I only need to study Japanese for an hour a day or so.

AND NOT TAKING ACCOUNTING allows me to figure out my transfer plans, my living arrangements, what I need before I go, etc. This summer should be about the same, sans the Japanese.

Which reminds me that my graduation is coming up! I need to get my damn shot records and fill out my graduation application! Maybe I'll pick them up before work tomorrow or something... I don't know, my mom has bugged me about it twice so it's definately past due.

Did I mention yesterday that I intend to buy Samantha's prom dress as a graduation present? Yup! I'm pretty excited about going shopping with her. It's going to be really fun, and I think it's on May 5th.

I couldn't be happier, really.

peace.

peace.

Human Resources Major!!!

http://www.wce.wwu.edu/Depts/HS/degree/Major%20Requirements.shtml

I'm dropping accounting 202, but check this out!!

Why?

I was having a horrendous time with my accounting homework tonight and my mom tried sitting down and helping me with it. It was getting so hard and tedious and I had literally broke down into tears. My mom and me then started talking and she told me to take some time this week to look at majors. She then out of the blue brought up Human Services, and how much of an awesome career it is for women.

I looked into the major requirements and course descriptions... Interpersonal systems, case management, interventions, hiring and firing practices, conflict resolution... NEAT!! Those all sounds interesting to me. And it uses my greatest skill-- being analytical and a good judge of character. I'm also a good writer so that will come in handy. It's employable AND involves people! I think I've found my calling!

So yeah, no more accounting for me, no more counting columns of numbers. I enjoy money, and someday I'm sure I'll have a great credit score, but I don't think I want my life revolving around numbers and if they add up correctly. My Dad will understand. The more I got into my accounting classes, the more I realized it wasn't for me.

I intend to spend my last months at CBC taking the time to figure out what my plan is. I'm still going to take Japanese, but I'm going to create a plan of action for Western and what courses I'm going to take per quarter, just to make my Dad happy. Tomorrow morning I will happily drop my accounting class and that weight will be lifted off my shoulders. There's absolutely no reason for me to be taking it if there's no way for the credits to transfer.

I'm excited you guys, completely thrilled.

peace.

I lied...

That was actually Taylor Morales. I suck with names.

Coming down from an awesome adrenaline high. I'm loving these wood floors to work out! Also, I set up a new blog for all my workout videos. You can find it here:

http://workoutvids.blogspot.com/

I know it's lame, haha.

Just got done re-reading chapter 10 in accounting and did my pilates workout video. Hoping to get a bunch of stuff done before midnight.

peace.

Couch sleep not adequate......

Lemon Streusel Creme Cake. I can see why my sister likes it but it's so painfully sweet that I wouldn't be able to eat much.

My mom has some fantastic ancient pictures here on this laptop from 2006. I'll find a random one to put on this blog to keep it interesting.

Ha ha AWWW it's Nicole Moran, that's so funny! 

Alright, I have to say one thing. Denae is a very good friend to my sister. My sister had surgery yesterday and now she looks and feels like absolute shit. Denae is over here, trying to see her through all the pain. I'm pretty sure Denae is the best friend Avery's ever had. Some of her friends have just sucked. I don't know if she feels betrayed by Karli now that they're not best friends anymore, or if they just grew a part. I think it's more the later. People that ride horses get really exclusive. 

At the moment I'm eating some lunch. Got done playing an hour of Under a Glass Moon. I would of continued but my fingers are killing me. I wanted to play more than just an hour but my left hand is killing me. I'm pretty sure that's the first information I'm going to get out of the teacher is the proper hand positioning because I don't want to get carpel tunnel. It would really inconvenience me. 

Katharine is coming over today at 7', I believe. I saw Katelynn this morning. To be honest with you guys I've just wanted today to be quiet and inexpensive. My mom is still working on my room, which has been a crazy project for her. I haven't helped with it at all, to be honest... I just work so much at work and at school that when I'm home it's very hard to get much initiative to do anything. Unless I have a friend here to talk too, then I somehow tend to get things done because it makes things less boring. 

Marlow is sitting outside staring at me. Poor thing, I wish I could let him inside but I realized how icky it would be if we had four cats sitting around here. Tabitha is up on the couch, Michiko is probably with my mom somewhere, and Miranda's more than likely in my sister's room with Avery and Denae. It sort of creeps me out having all of my stuff in the living room currently. I feel no sense of privacy or real get-up to do anything. This is that feeling that I get when I'm in California... just, exhausted, and wanting privacy and sleep. I've been sleeping on the couch for four nights and I'm getting more and more tired as I write this. I slept in until TWELVE today, I shouldn't need a nap. 

Ugh, fuck it I'm gonna take a little rest until Katharine comes over and then I can finish picking up around here.

peace 

Making my boring ass work day go faster....

1:23 pm... Dreading going to work today.

I know that thinking about how long and boring my shift could potentially be is a guarentee that the shift is going to go by LONG. What I'm going to do is grab a stack of flash cards, that way I can study my Japanese and learn all the vocab at the time that I'm stuck standing around at the cash register. Usually Linda doesn't have too much for me to do on Thursdays. I mean it makes no sense for me to do being frieght when you've got Traci AND Loraine working on the makeup by the time I show up. Their job is so much easier than mine.. If I could spend my time working out on the floor straightening and stocking stuff for a day instead of kissing ass I'd be much happier.

I decided to look up some tips on how to make the workday go by faster and this is what I found:
1. Try not to keep looking at the timeThis is nearly impossible for me because my clock is part of the interface on the register.

2. Take lots of breaksCan't do this because it's corporate. Someday I'll have a job where I'm not a slave to the stupid hourly pay system.

3. Draw!! Drawing is a great way to keep entertained if your co-workers/boss can see your computer. Preferably, use post-it notes, as they can be easily hidden (if done properly, it looks like you're writing something important!!). When you're done, you can throw each note out, and if you get caught doodling, you only have a small post-it note full of doodles as evidence that you haven't been working.

This is a pretty good idea... except I'm pretty closely monitored.

4. Set small, achievable goals.
I sometimes do this with time. I'll think of it as "two hours until my next break" intead of "5 hours until I go home."

5. Create some healthy competition.

There we go. There's the solution I was looking for. Today, I'm going to make it a goal to sell way more of those donation balloons for the Children's hospital with the power of persuasion with my looks, haha. Even if I look a little schleppy today...

Today is going to be interesting and I'm now a little excited to go to work. :) Also it's payday so I better check my balance.

peace.

WOOD FLOORS WOOD FLOORS YEAA!!!

What a fabulous day!

I spilt red paint on my floor, so my parents spent $360 to get me wood floors and they're being installed right now. I'm probably really spoiled. Okay, I know I'm spoiled, but I'm SO happy!! You guys don't understand, I've wanted wood floors for years.

On top of that, school went well. Accounting was really nerve wrecking, again, and that girl that sits next to me is still so on top of everything. She's going to help me a lot, but I think I'm a little jealous-- yet inspired to work harder. I almost showed up late today, another couple minutes and I would of been toast. Probably because I woke up at 6:30 instead of 6. I need to stop doing that, it's not worth it because it just leads me to have to drive faster.

I spent quite a bit of money this week, but I get paid tonight so that'll be nice.

So what actually made my day abnormally well, hanging out with Josh was awesome. We came back to my house, smoked a little bit, took a long walk, and watched a little of this weird juggalo documentary. I find him really attractive, he's got a good taste in music, talented, laid back, doesn't like drama, he's got a lot in common with me, likes being outside... That's definately my type and I hope we continue to hang out together. Another nice thing, he lives only a couple blocks away from work and walks over to the store to buy cigarettes sometimes so I'll see him. : ) Yep, not gonna lie, pretty happy with how today went...

It's 7:15, and my little desk is out in the dining room.

This would be perfect if my sister and jimmy weren't watching TV, so I'm gonna relocate to the family room. It's almost 7:30 and this is what I've gotta get done:

1. Guitar for an hour and a half
2. Do the outline for chapter 10 in accounting. (This'll take two hours)
3. Study Japanese vocab for 30 minutes.
4. Work out for at least 30 minutes.

So i'm driving all the way to Ellensburg on Saturday to go to this spa thing. I'm pretty sure i'll be able to get it off... Went into Rite Aid today to talk to Loraine but she wasn't there, so I'm gonna have to call her later when I find where my phone charger. . . Okay, I don't want to call her.

peace.

New beginnings :)

Helllllo.

I'm in the library right now at school. Yup, back to the old grind. I'm happy spring break isn't two weeks, I would of been bored as shit by now and my parents have been getting on my case about almost everything.

School so far is going very well, this is already looking like an easier quarter.

Japanese is well, Japanese.. People are a lot quieter than usual, which I appreciate because it actually allows us to get the lessons done in class. We've been right on time for the past couple days because people are paying attention. It seems like everyone in class is getting more confident with their speaking skills, too, so when we do speaking activities people aren't just like "uhhhhhhhh.....Onion kun ni... uhh... onion wo... wait, what is, uh..." Of course we all do this sometimes, but it's a lot less frequent when everyone is sort of in the zone.

I'm taking another 8:00 accounting class. Dwight said it's an easier class than 201 because once you have the basics down you're okay. The teacher, Wend, is really cool, and asked me to be a notetaker today. Sure! Why not, if you think my handwriting is half decent. It's a $100 in my pocket at the end of the quarter, too. Unfortunately I can only spend it at the student store, but it's a little shopping spree.

Wend organized us into teams and my team consists of this really smart hispanic girl that actually works as hard as I do (Awesome, someone I can use as inspiration when I'm slacking), a super quiet girl, and this one kind of cute tall guy. Our group is called "CANE" because it's the first letters of our name. I thought of naming our team Dunder Mifflin like on the Office, but we figured this would be easier for the teacher to remember.

So with this two hour block in between classes, I actually have time to get my homework done at school. this means more time for me to do whatever I want, so I think for the last four months of living here I'm gonna take some GOOD guitar lessons. It's $80 a month, and I'd be getting them from a guy that's really serious about his teaching. I sent him a message about it last night and he's already gotten back to me.

I told him that I needed lessons that were structured, and he told me that his lessons actually require a practice sheet, and he's going to teach me all kinds of technique and such. Guitar is my main hobby right now, and I think I'd be worth it to spend $20 a week on it. The only unfortunate thing is that I have to pay him a lump sum of $80, which is going to cut into my saving ability somewhat. This means I'll have to cut back on other things, like weed... That's fine, totally worth it. Unfortunately for me the two hobbies go hand in hand.

I get paid $280 every two weeks. I spend about $40 a week on gas, $20-$30 a week on misc expenses, and $20 a week for guitar lessons. That's approximately $180 every two weeks that I spend, which means I should be saving about $100 with every paycheck. I've been doing pretty well saving up to this point, and my parents help me out every so often. I'm just going to have to be VERY proactive about packing food with me to work to avoid spending money on that as well as avoid these splurges at Rite Aid. I won't have the temptation to splurge if I'm spending so much money as it is. Guitar lessons would be a major splurge, but because i've been playing an hour every single day for the past four months I feel like I might be ready for some structured help.

I've sort of hit a plateau with improvement, anyway.

Anyway! I better get going. Gonna go get Katelynn.

peace.