Let's just be honest here.

Being back in your hometown with family is great for a little while but I'm really happy to be back in my own place in Ellensburg.

The ride here was scary as hell, there was heavy wind and rain the entire drive.. I found myself going 55-60 mph on average which made the drive pretty long. Luckily my brain felt super wired. Having decided to not gone out last night, I feel really rejuvenated when I got up today, even if I did sleep in quite a bit so I wasn't able to make time to practice like I'd planned. I spent most of the time before I left trying to locate and pack all of my stuff.

This weekend I did hang out a lot in my Mom's craft room (where my bedroom was originally located...) because being downstairs is never motivating to me and the living room is too noisy. Anyway I used some of my mom's clay to make this. I love how it turned out, honestly. Clay is an addictive and relaxing but TIME CONSUMING and expensive because as you get more ideas you  need more supplies. 

I'm hoping my mom eventually acquires such an abundance of the FIMO stuff (as my family tends to do, my Dad will end up finding a bag of them at a yardsale or a Goodwill) so I can jack some from her and it wouldn't be noticeable. My mom is on a roll with her projects though, and they look awesome!

Friday night I went to Jack Didley's with Sheridan who I hadn't seen in a pretty long time. The club was having an 18+ night with an open bar if you had ID. Sheridan and I had figured I'd be able to give her a couple swigs of mine when the bar tenders weren't looking but I'd underestimated the security measures preventing this. There was a fence up around the bar with a guy at the entry checking wrist bands. If Sheridan wanted a drink of a beer it'd have to be through a fence hole. She did try to get me to do it though, I was like "Yeah I don't want to get kicked out..." 

The place was slow last night.. so slow that it was around 11:20 pm and it still wasn't packed enough that people were dancing. My friend Jeremy had texted me asking to come out to Joker's because his cousin was DJing and he said it's a lot better but my friend wouldn't have been able to get in because it was 21 and over only. Next time I go back to the tri cities and want to shake my ass I'm going there instead. 

Anyway, regardless of the fact that not many people were around Sheridan did see a couple guys she knew that we ended up leaving with pretty shortly after to go to a party in Richland that she'd been hearing about. We drove back to Richland and this Mexican looking dude in a bandana walked out to our car and told us that the party just got shut down. We were right in this guy Colt's neighborhood so we went to their house. 

Neither of these guys drank or smoked or anything... At this point I had my fair share, having drank 3 coors lights that were on specials and a corona a guy bought me. It ended up being a fun night. Colton's 21, pretty tall and handsome enough, and works construction in Naches which is actually only about 20 minutes away from here. I doubt I'll see or hear from him again. But yeah I guess you can say I did do some partying this weekend as intended. Hanging out with Sheridan was pretty random but fun and I got a chance to see Mikey and Violet's new house. 

Violet made me a homemade McMuffin type sandwich yesterday morning. It was delicious and she's a great host. 

peace. 

BANG BANG BANG... silence.

Weekend again. It's almost 7, Friday evening.

I have this policy analysis that I have to do this weekend. I feel lame having not put any significant effort into it at this point.. But I have all of tomorrow and Sunday to get it done. I've got that "rough draft" that will at least get me started. I'm taking the rest of the night off.

Most of today was spent studying for my public finance test (midterm 3) and of course was one of the last ones in my class to finish it. I'd made the decision to prepare more than adequately for this test to assure that I wasn't getting another C after last week's shitty test. So yeah, studied the material super well this week... I know I did well on the multiple choice and didn't bullshit any of the essay questions except for 2 because I forgot to read the damn Facebook articles. 

When I'd made this realization toward the end of the test I was sooo frustrated... Like I stayed up late last night, then woke up at 6' this morning to study for a couple solid hours before money and banking (debated not even going but I'm glad I did...) then studied with Mike H. then went home and studied for another 40 minutes before the test!! But somehow completely forgot the f*cking facebook articles-- didn't cross my mind once the past few days. Now the highest I could possibly get is an 87. Doesn't give me much wiggle room for mess ups on the rest of the thing at all, and I'm really hoping that after all of this work I at least pull a B.

Yesterday I had a quiz in Money and banking that I was not feeling comfortable on what so ever, even if I did a pretty good amount of studying. True/False questions are tricky but I usually do surprisingly well on them.. I guess better than I expect. I think in some ways I've always had a good nose for bulls**t.. Like I can tell when someone is lying or when something's kind of off, so naturally I guess I would be good at true-false.

When I was going through the stack of papers Terry was standing behind me. His was on top of mine at the bottom of the stack and when he reached down to grab his he picked up mine too. I snatched that paper out of his hands so fast, I did NOT want him to be the first one to see it.. Especially because I thought I did really bad and I always just assume Terry's scores are within a 5 point margin of my scores (*give or take). I put the quiz under my textbook cover when I was debating looking at it and was pleasantly happy/shocked to see that I scored a 22/28 (78%... Still a C, but a more respectable C than last time!).

Terry didn't do so hot on this one and told me he wanted to go drink... Lol it was like 10 am. I know how that goes though, you just feel sick for the rest of the hour... if it's bad enough the rest of the day. Which is why I didn't even want to look at the score in the first place.

Oh! Also I got 41/50 (82%) on my managerial test. I was pretty happy with this. Every day this week has been spent cramming for one test or another.

okay, school was designed to make us all suffer, we get it, moving on...

Here it is, Friday night. I do want to have fun. Hold on I'll take a picture of my kind of filthy self after a long day...

Right now I'm feeling kinda greasy, blah and unmotivated. I got my guitar practice quota done (my hands are honestly kind of sore from working on rondo alla turca, it involves a lot of middle finger technique that I'm not used too), feeling accomplished with this week for the most part... I want to have fun!! 

I've texted a couple people (Oscar and Marlowe, the girl I met last week) but haven't heard back from either yet. I am debating texting Allie.. I don't know, I tried to hit her or Kala up the past couple weekends and I didn't get much response so I'd rather the next time they want to hang out they text me so I know that they don't like... dislike me or something.

I think the next step in my evening, regardless of what happens, is to go get a couple Coronas and relax with my kitty cat and I'll be quite happy. It's been a tough week, this quarter's coming to an end and I'm excited to spend some time with my family soon. Tomorrow I might be meeting my Dad  in Yakima for lunch and do some wandering around at thrift stores. I'm still on a hunt for some funky, retro refrigerator magnets!! And a bigger coffee maker that I don't have to refill three times a day.

Alright goin' on a beer run.

peace. 

OH... Weirdest ass thing happened yesterday. Weird because I was just thinking about her (well of course, she's my ex best friend how could I not...). I got a text from Katelynn yesterday saying that if I have a problem with her I should say it to her instead of going to Alan about it (wtf..? I haven't said a word to Alan in months...) and then said something completely off the wall... I'm debating even posting it but I guess because all the bridges are burnt what difference does it make. 

She said "Alan doesn't want to ^&*%, you, nice try..." Woah. Woah.... What? Which is basically what I said in response. I'm like Dude, the last time I talked to Alan was after you dumped me as a friend pretty shortly after you'd dumped him as your boyfriend. I sent him a message saying I was sorry, they ended up back together, and I haven't talked to either of them since. I've never wanted anything to do with Alan that way. I turn down guys all the time here, why the Hell would I want to pursue some guy in the tri cities? I mean among all of the reasons that make that statement just outright crazy. 

Makes me wonder if she was even trying to text me or someone else... She didn't respond when I responded to her a couple hours later basically asking what the Hell was she talking about. I know that shortly before we stopped being friends she became friends with S. Wilson's older sister and might have been trying to text her or something. I don't know... It was just weird. Maybe with a few beers in me I might not be so hesitant to ask her about it..... 

Adddddventure time!

Nick you are NOT too cool to be in this picture... ha ha ha

Yesterday was fun. Had a wild hair and set up an event on facebook for pretty much anyone around benton city to meet at the rope swing today. I had a really good turn out actually, considering pretty much everyone has jobs. My tan has certainly faded and people always enjoy pointing out how white I am because I could honestly care less. 

Cameron L. and his friends were really the one that helped me with this. My friend Kellen came to my house at 2' and we sat outside while I ate a sandwich until Wiley rolled up in his sick Chevy. Cameron and Chris C. were in the truck bed and Zach M. was in the passenger seat. Cameron acts so goofy, he cracks me up. 

We went to the store and this guy Chris C. who's been at the rope swing with us every time I've been there that I can remember. He had a bottle of whiskey with him and would run down those scary cliffs like it was nothing. Wiley brought some Strawberry-Ritas or whatever and some Rolling Rock. I had one of those at around 2 pm... I know crazy right, that was the first time I've ever drank in the afternoon. 

But honestly it was because I was a little stressed! At this point in the day I had heard some really hard news... News that I unfortunately can't talk to you guys about much on my blog because it could potentially make the situation worse. Of course I don't know how it could get worse now, seems like administration has already made up it's mind to send my mom packing for the dumbest little shit weasel on earth. 

So yeah. Cheers. I spent the next hour scrolling through my phone looking for girls to invite to this thing. Rhiannon said she was coming on the event page so I was really hoping she'd be there. Not that I have a problem with any of the guys that I was hanging out there with at this time... it's just kind of awkward being the only girl there. I had thought for sure Alisha (Zach's girlfriend) would be there but she was sick. 

Luckily Rhiannon showed up at around 4' or so. On the right of her with the beanie is Chris Cul. (Not Chris C. mentioned earlier). He's just your typical kind of eclectic, "high on life" street kid that probably had a rough upbringing. He says some crazy things and enjoys lighting things on fire. Then to my left is Cameron L., then Zach, and Zach's brother who's really sarcastic like Zach is. 

Katelynn came and brought a box of pabst which was highly appreciated by everyone when the beer cooler was running a little low. Katelynn, Kellen and Kevin were in the water practically the whole time. Katelynn says that she hardly ever goes swimming and doesn't know why more people aren't in the water. For me personally because it's cold to me and I'd rather stand around and socialize. That water is shallow but you still can't see your feet and that can be a little bothersome to me too.

OH.... weird side thing that I just realized... last night I had a dream that Abe P. from school was with me yesterday and telling me he didn't want to swim in the water because he "remembers when the water was clear and you could see your feet." What the hell is that supposed to symbolize?

The 6 of us that came first stayed for quite awhile and I was ready to go home around 6'. I drank 2 beers which kind of got my mind off the situation at home but by this time I was getting a headache. Timmy had shown up a little later and was like "What you guys are leaving already?" And Wiley's like "Dude! we've been here for 4 hours!" ha ha ha

So yes, very fun yesterday. Part of me kind of wanted Jay to show up but I knew he'd be much too exhausted. Instead of saying "no" Jay just chooses not to respond to things sometimes. That's alright with me, I get it. I hope I see him this Tuesday. I've got work from 5-12 am tonight and another closing shift tomorrow. This next Friday's payday should be pretty good.

peace. 

Learning more about the system.

Haven't much felt like writing.

Today I didn't have the best luck. I woke up with no plans and ended the day with no plans, which is never a good day on a Saturday. I did get some studying done and practiced for about an hour. Not great but my hands needed a break today.

Allie told me she wanted to come with me grocery shopping today when I told her what I had planned. Not particularly exciting. She told me she'd let me know when she was done at the gym and we'd go. Well around 6:00 she got back and took a shower and didn't feel like going. Ha ha I'm not surprised, who the hell would want to walk around a grocery store in circles with me when they just worked out for two hours? I was flattered that she wanted to go in the first place, so I used it as an excuse to sit around and watch documentaries about drugs all day.

That sort of creeped me out. I learned about some really scary drugs in Russia and Columbia. Heroin, meth, crack cocaine, painkillers, broken families... All things I'm going to avoid thinking about for the next few days. Drugs create such a horrible reality for people and destroy everything. I made a promiss to myself early on that those types of drugs are completely out of the question. I would never, ever try any of them. I am fortunate enough that I don't have any need to escape reality. I look at the horrible circumstances these poor people involved with drug using families go through and I can see how they turn to drugs themselves. It's a horrible cycle in the predominantly lower castes of society but alcoholism and drug use certainly destroys middle and upper class people's lives too.

I don't know. I live my life with thought, caution and discipline to keep myself safe. I would never think to use a substance that could potentially jeopardize my wellbeing. Loving your life and yourself means using restraint and discipline to become the best person you can be. Now I'm not saying people should work 24/7 to be better than everyone around them but work their best to fulfill whatever it is they feel a need to do in life. Nobody aspires to be a junky. It's sad to say not everyone starts life with a realistic goal and end up falling into the wrong crowd of people.

I'm so lucky to have the parents that I did. So many of these poor people on Intervention had such awful upbringing. You cannot be a meth head and raise a child, there's just no way. Even if a parent cares about the children the constant pursuit of drugs doesn't leave much room for the love, attention and care their child needs. These children often get molested because of the inattentiveness of parents or end up using drugs themselves at ages as young as 12. Babies in drug addicted communities born addicted to crack or opiates. It's disgusting and sad.

But yeah I'm going to work out and go to bed. It's getting late. I really hope I get the opportunity to see a friend tomorrow because I felt really lonely today. I did call Katelynn today which was nice! I had a lot to talk about and just went on and on.

I really shouldn't complain because I've had a good last couple of days though. This was taken at a party that Allie invited me to come too. I've met Allie's roommates as well as her some of her close friends at CWU now. This picture might be taken of me and Allie but for most of the party I was standing around drinking my hard apple cider with those 3 rednecks standing behind us. Nah, they weren't bad rednecks, they were actually pretty funny and interesting to talk too.

I can remember one of them's name was Taylor and I was talking to him for longer than the others. I wasn't particularly interested in any of the guys there. I just like to drink my beer and get into conversations, get to know people, and watch the interesting bullshit unfold around me as people get more drunk. 

The few minutes that I did walk away from these guys I stood over by the sink and briefly talked to Allie's roommate's.... I want to say boyfriend, though it's not facebook official so I do not know if they just party together or what. It seems like that's kind of what college "relationships" are like. Nobody actually wants to tie down with anyone unless they find someone absolutely perfect because they want to keep their options open in case they DO find that person. So instead of actually dating people just find their favorite person to hook up, drink and party with. I get it now. 

And I guess some people just hook up with someone new every week at parties. That to me is kind of gross.  Last night there was one girl who was completely out of control. She was so wasted and actually grabbed the tall guy standing directly behind me's crotch. It was so bad, one of the guys paid this girl $5 to do it. After she did she kept following him around the room trying to grind on him. Note that she was kind of big, with skin tight clothes and f**ked up makeup. Just a complete trainwreck. 

It makes me sad to imagine how people get this way. So hopeless that they have to make themselves completely wasted to feel comfortable in their own skin. That's what it comes down too. Ugh, here I go talking about substance abuse again. I feel bad for poor Abe, he texts me today and we're making light conversation about the party and then all of a sudden I go into talking about how drugs are so terrible and blah dee blah.

Anyway Allie's roommate cut between this guy and I, and kept on eyeballing me all night. I mean I can understand why. She doesn't know me, I could be a complete bitch who likes to ruin things for people. There's a lot of girls that would take advantage of a situation if they're given the chance to snatch a guy from someone else. I just don't feel right about that. I just like meeting and talking to people; I was not interested in her boyfriend what so ever. But feeling as though I had intimidated someone made me feel a little empowered. It's become very effortless for me to talk to strangers, which will benefit me immensely in my professional life.

peace. 

Milk in the sink day.

I looked up Milk jugs in cart and got this. I was nervous to look up much else on Google image search with the word "Milk" in it. 

Milk is weird.

It's not something we tend to think about very often because it grosses us out... or not, but one thing's for certain. . . when milk sits out it gets BAD. 

Originally today I was supposed to do blue dots in the cosmetics section, which seemed like a good project for me because I like looking at cosmetics. Within 20 minutes of opening the store a woman told me she was going to buy a gallon of milk and it was warm. The freezer said 60 degrees... Within minutes Linda was bringing up cart fulls of milk that I had to dump in the sink.

Overall, though, today was a good day.. it was not very busy so I was able to finish my project throughout my six hour shift but still had customers to talk too. Linda and I get along well, I think she respects that I'm a hard worker. Jay on the other hand probably hates me because I didn't put some security tags on some razors. He acts like I don't do anything around there because he's never worked one shift with me (thank God). 

Still counting down the days. Let's see, after tomorrow it will be... 

17 more days!

Sunday 8/26 

Thurs 8/30 

Sat Sept 1

Sun Sept 2

Thurs Sept 6

Sat Sept 8

Sun Sept 9 When I say my final goodbyes to the couponers, the little old ladies, or whoever else happens to come in that might've recognized me from before. I've become a recognized cashier at this place to some of them that always make their saturday beer run at Rite Aid.

A few of my favorite beer runners:

-"Gimme some-a those Marlboro blacks." guy. 6-pack of Keystone Lights. He usually beings in a black recyclable Albertson's bag that reeks of cat pee. He wears a bucket hat and speaks in an extremely monotone voice that cracks me up every time he comes in, he's pretty funny. 

-"HEY BRAT." Funky old man with probably late 40's tan lady that somehow knows Josh K. They've always been pretty nice to me, and come in multiple times a day. He usually likes to harass me (in a joking manner), and at times it's annoying.

-Sunday school teacher that comes in at the ass crack of dawn and buys a 6-pack. He's really friendly and he tends to be my first transaction of the day. More than likely, he will be tomorrow too. 

Things get REALLY repetitive there.

I'm so ready to move on, of course, but it's nice to get some of this in writing so I won't forget the many weird details of the memories I've had there. 

peace.