My day was not great but not completely useless. After having such a hectic study day on the 29th I admittedly slacked a little bit preparing for my money and banking quiz. I'm probably going to have to face the nasty effects of that tomorrow because I can honestly say I guessed on quite a few of them. There's a good likelihood I got a crappy score on this quiz and this weekend will be spent doing a lot of studying for my Money and banking test on Wednesday and my public finance test on Monday.
Before I had checklists I now realize on days that I did bad on quizzes and tests I wouldn't usually do anything. Like I'll usually feel drained, end up sleeping to not stress about it, then spend the rest of my evening on the computer and tidying up. Tonight came really close to that but instead I really forced myself to read not just one but two of my public finance chapters. Didn't get everything done that I'd ambitiously planned this morning on my checklist but at least did SOME things.
As always, the more I get done tomorrow the better, even if I do have to get some other stuff done like grocery shopping and make sure I pay Jake for the second half of October and the first half of November.
Today is Halloween and even if I missed the boat entirely when it comes to partying I'm still planning to wear that wig to class tomorrow and will probably do my makeup a little overboard. I'll make sure to take a picture tomorrow morning for you all to see.
Things have gotten a lot better academically since I cut back my dose of prozac. I definitely feel more "with it" than I did before and able to comprehend the material more easily. At this point in time however I do feel like time is against me and that I'm going to have to really fight this quarter to pass one of my classes.
Managerial has gone from bad to worse. I studied for the quiz for 4 1/2 hours on Wednesday and really thought I had the material down but the way the multiple choice questions were worded you almost had to have mastered it to know the correct answer.
Like here's an example...
Going into the test I knew that oligopolies are markets that are dominated by a small number of sellers selling slightly differentiated products. Pricing decisions that one firm makes effects price that other firms in the industry makes (an oligopolist company lowering prices would cause demand for the other firms to drop, therefore the other firms would be forced to drop their prices too...)
You think that would be enough to know about one concept... Here's the question I got on the test about Oligopolies (*might not be the exact wording but this is basically what it said)
Which of the following is true of oligopolies?
A. Oligopolies are large companies that are few in number and sell standardized products.
B. Oligopolies are large companies that are few in number and sell differentiated products.
C. The price decisions made by oligopolies tend to effect it's competitors.
D. (*...another answer that seemed true)
E. All of the above.
So of course I'm just sitting here like Wtf. A and B cancel eachother out... When I think of standardized products I think of oranges or something in a perfectly competitive market so I ruled out A.. But then I thought B and C were correct so I didn't want to just choose either. I should have chose B because I know for sure that one is right but I ended up choosing E because I was convinced that B, C and D were all correct...
There were a lot of questions on the test like this. Two answers look right, and then sometimes you have the choice of "all of the above" or "b and d" or something like that. I'm hoping, hoping, hoping I passed and got over a 70%... Seriously passing is what I care about in this class. Ghosh and I just don't connect... I don't like the way he lectures-- he goes way too fast and makes me feel like I don't belong there.. He makes me feel like I picked the wrong major. Which is the worst feeling imaginable...
So I have to fight. I want to be an economist. I want to have managerial skills and understand marginal analysis! I want to speak this language and be able to use economics terms correctly and confidently when I have to do essay questions on his tests. I know that in order to do this I have to work like I never have before while not neglecting my Money and Banking and Finance classes-- neither of which are cakewalks by any means.
But for some reason I always feel more initiative to read Sipic's material first, even if technically I'm doing the best in his class of all three and should be putting that last on my list. I think once again it just shows that my motivation is based a lot on the authority figure that I'm trying to impress. And I WANT TO do well in Ghosh's class too... (Jake would have me reword that to "I will do good in Ghosh's class") But it's the hardest class I've ever taken.
This weekend I've dedicated almost entirely to studying. My Mom should be coming up this evening and we're going to go shopping tomorrow for the career fair. I think she's also going to get me a winter coat to survive the nasty wind and cold coming up here in less than a month.
YangHaiYing made this video that really inspired me yesterday. It's true, school and work is chaos! When you have someone telling you what to do you feel out of control. That's why when you're alone and it's quiet (when you naturally want to be lazy because you can) you have to "create chaos" to continue making progress.
The most important thing is to never give up... Ghosh has honestly been the first one that's made me question if I really belong here. I called my Mom yesterday and she said "Well maybe you don't need to do two majors, just do one..." I was like "Wtf? No!" That's basically like saying "Too hard, well fuck it I'll just half ass this."
I will get that double major. I have this image in my head of how proud I will be to have both of those degrees and how ready and confident I will be to enter the real workforce at that point. In order to get there I MUST understand the logical theories that accompany MARGINAL ANALYSIS. I need to eat, sleep, breath marginal analysis... lol.
Brad came over the other evening which was really nice, I made him chicken linguine with vegetables and he really liked it even if it turned out kind of spicy for my taste. Lol I'm not used to cooking for two people. We watched South Park and the Office and talked for hours. He's definitely one of my best friends, I feel like I can talk to him about anything and he won't judge me. He's very complimentary of me so he helps boost my self esteem when I'm feeling depressed... Yup, even if Brad's in his 30's I can relate to him much better than most people my age. Hanging around Brad has also made me more interested in men in their late 20's early 30's because I realize the maturity difference there.
Ha ha of course you all know one guy in his 30's that I'm absolutely crazy about.... Sigh, he's so amazing, funny, handsome and intelligent... If I could ever find a man like that I'd be set and live happily ever after.
I came home this weekend for a couple things: first and foremost to turn in my job application at Rite aid and second to escape. I felt really depressed waking up Saturday morning because the previous night I'd gone to a bar and felt hungover so I didn't get up until 12. That hangover kept me from getting really anything done all day.
Well it would have been one thing if the previous night was good. I felt like that whole night I just felt uncomfortable because I was with a bunch of people I didn't know and couldn't make conversation very easily. It's funny, sometimes strangers won't phase me at all and I'll be totally friendly and other times (especially when I'm in kind of a sad mood) it's a lot harder.
I actually saw Terry at the bar and it looked like he was like.. cornering this girl. He actually saw me there but didn't talk to me at all. Granted by this time it was 1:30 or so and I was ready to get the hell out of there. I was feeling really uncomfortable in the first place and seeing Terry there was the icing on the cake.
I don't want to talk about that anymore. To be honest "feeling" is more of an inconvenience in my life than most things so I try to drown it out with studying, watching documentaries about people with messed up lives, practicing my guitar like a madman and meditating. That's my life. I want close friends that I can spend time with and open up too but finding people that I feel I can relate to is such a challenge.. That and so many girls are too wrapped up in their boyfriends to give a shit about having friends.
that's the thing that a lot of people don't realize is much harder about being a single woman than a man. Men actually know how to be friends with eachother and spend time without having crazy hangups. But of course when I hang out with a guy in a strictly friendship manner but spend a bunch of time with them they can sometimes develop crushes and then I end up losing them as friends in the long run because I have to let them down.
Ugh. I'm probably over exaggerating again. Things are going more than fine for the most part and I've really got no room to complain, it's just time for me to come home and I'm realizing that now. I'm ready for a change of environment and be around people that know who I am.
So between now and tomorrow at 9 am tomorrow I have to:
-Drive home... (which takes 90 min)
-Study econ for 90 min (online, multiple choice ?'s on 2 chapters)
-2 problems on the stats homework (I've got about 6/15 done right now. Figure I'll have two more hours to get the rest of it done between classes tomorrow)
When I successfully complete something that I didn't understand before.
Just got done with my Visual Basic homework, and I'm almost sure I did all of the projects right. I'm also enjoying the fact that I can add little bits of customization to my projects as well, like background images. I'd post a picture of my first project but it's on my junk drive and I'm too lazy. Visual Basic itself is a drag and drop interface, which makes setup a breeze. Reminds me almost of setting up a yearbook page. But yeah, figuring out the program took me a few hours, but now that I've got it I feel set.
I also have an accounting quiz tomorrow that I need to study for... I'll probably just look over the chapter. Oh, and a Japanese quiz on top of that. That should be semi easy though, the vocabulary isn't that hard this week. It's pretty stressful but I'm trying to stay as calm as possible and take things one step at a time. My planner helps a lot with that.
Living with low blood sugar is hard because if I don't frequently snack during the day I get really weak and sick feeling in only a few hours. I try to snack on healthy food, like cereal and stuff.
I'm so hungry right now. I feel empty.... I'm sitting in the room across from the library Epicenter. The Collab room. I'd print out my assignments but I have literally no change to purchase the prints. That being said, hopefully I'll get the opportunity to print them sometime in class. I don't have a break between my accounting class and Visual basic to do some last minute catchup.
I sort of wish I wasn't taking accounting. I don't enjoy it very much and it's hard work. I'm still trying to get the basics of it down but it's really weird... thinking backwards and forwards and trying to remember all the terms and procedures. It'll be good for me to get through this class though. It might not be the easiest task, but it'll help me out a lot in the long run. The purpose of being here (and sometimes I forget this...) is to learn, and if anything coming out of this accounting class will give me a perspective on what my Dad does every day, as well as help me with budgeting later down the line.
The reason that I haven't gone home yet is that I'm going to a bonfire over in Kennewick at 7' or so. I'm gonna leave here around 6' and grab some taco bell or something, I need to eat or I'm going to be miserable. I need to try to study some Japanese before I go. Mehh. I really don't think my brain has the capacity to get through accounting studying right now.... neeeeed food.
