4 days... : (

...Is how long it takes for a guy to not talk to you for you to realize that he's not interested in continuing contact more than likely. At least in previous experience that's what I've found... like if you text a guy and he doesn't text you back and it's been 4 days that usually means it's a done deal. The only exception to that is Terry because he'll text me once or twice a month. 

I swear to God Terry only really hangs out with other men... 

Terry has been making it seem like he wants to see me this week... Like he's sent me a couple texts saying I "should come up there this week." Well with an invite like that how could I say no! ...Kidding, honestly driving to Ellensburg to see Terry has been one of the last things on my mind this summer. With our history of poor communication and being around eachother only once or twice a month at school... I just figured there was no way that plan would be a plan we could actually execute. And it hasn't yet. 

Eric doesn't seem to want to communicate with me because he hasn't talked to me at all for about 4 days now. I did text asking where he worked but he didn't respond so I'm just having a feeling he doesn't want to get to know me and that this was a 1 night thing (*"not a one night stand", just 1 night of being around this person). More than likely he's got a girlfriend or something, who knows. I know nothing about him really aside from what I saw on the outside, and the people I'd come to his house with seemed to barely know him either. Like Terrance went to highschool with him or something but they just seemed like acquaintances. 

So yeah, that's been a little disappointing. I didn't mean to develop a crush like that but it has been sucking some of my motivation.

I did apply to office max today which is good. Got that taken care of and tomorrow I plan to hand deliver a few applications. I needed to take a day to rest today so I didn't. It's only 10' but I've already accomplished more than an hour of solid guitar practice and I'm going to make it an early night. I want energy tomorrow for getting these applications done. 

I've had this awful mucus-y cough lately that makes me sound like a 90 year old smoker. This black girl that I work with at JCpennies told me to "cover my cough because diseases can spread around here." I know she's right but I feel like she doesn't really like me like most people I'm working with in my department which sucks. 

I did get ahold of one of the nice managers at Office Max today and they have been reviewing applications for a new hire. I'm also planning on applying at Target tomorrow and maybe Craft warehouse. I don't know if there's a Staples in the tri cities but I could apply there too. All these places seem like totally reasonable, easy minimum wage cashiering jobs with way less stress than what I've been dealing with now. 

I like this pic of Sam, she posted it today

I would love to work at office max because I'd be there with Samantha who's never caused me stress in my life. I rarely see her anymore so it'd be awesome to work together. Lol I'd love if she was the one to show me how to do everything at work. The training there shouldn't be as confusing as all the bells and whistles on JCP's system. 

peace. 

Typical end of the quarter overload, still feeling out of it

Yo.

I came home this weekend for a couple things: first and foremost to turn in my job application at Rite aid and second to escape. I felt really depressed waking up Saturday morning because the previous night I'd gone to a bar and felt hungover so I didn't get up until 12.  That hangover kept me from getting really anything done all day.

Well it would have been one thing if the previous night was good. I felt like that whole night I just felt uncomfortable because I was with a bunch of people I didn't know and couldn't make conversation very easily. It's funny, sometimes strangers won't phase me at all and I'll be totally friendly and other times (especially when I'm in kind of a sad mood) it's a lot harder.

I actually saw Terry at the bar and it looked like he was like.. cornering this girl. He actually saw me there but didn't talk to me at all. Granted by this time it was 1:30 or so and I was ready to get the hell out of there. I was feeling really uncomfortable in the first place and seeing Terry there was the icing on the cake.

I don't want to talk about that anymore. To be honest "feeling" is more of an inconvenience in my life than most things so I try to drown it out with studying, watching documentaries about people with messed up lives, practicing my guitar like a madman and meditating. That's my life. I want close friends that I can spend time with and open up too but finding people that I feel I can relate to is such a challenge.. That and so many girls are too wrapped up in their boyfriends to give a shit about having friends.

that's the thing that a lot of people don't realize is much harder about being a single woman than a man. Men actually know how to be friends with eachother and spend time without having crazy hangups. But of course when I hang out with a guy in a strictly friendship manner but spend a bunch of time with them they can sometimes develop crushes and then I end up losing them as friends in the long run because I have to let them down.

Ugh. I'm probably over exaggerating again. Things are going more than fine for the most part and I've really got no room to complain, it's just time for me to come home and I'm realizing that now. I'm ready for a change of environment and be around people that know who I am.


So between now and tomorrow at 9 am tomorrow I have to:
-Drive home... (which takes 90 min)
-Study econ for 90 min (online, multiple choice ?'s on 2 chapters)
-2 problems on the stats homework (I've got about 6/15 done right now. Figure I'll have two more hours to get the rest of it done between classes tomorrow)

peace.