"S.O.S Day 2" From gasping for air to getting my composure

So as you guys know I came to the conclusion I have to work harder to turn my grades by the end of the quarter (the next four weeks or so)..

 I had another bump in the road last night when I spent hours trying to do well on a quiz and again got a terrible score... 47%. Which I partially blamed on Jacob because we shared answers with eachother and the ones we got different answers on I switched to his answers... and ended up getting a bunch of those wrong and my original answers were right. Because Jacob and I take turns submitting it first so nobody has an advantage, he was right to get frustrated when I flipped out on him for my bad score. I guess I more or less learned my lesson to not completely abandon my own judgement and go with my own gut feelings on answers. I shouldn't just abandon my own work for Jacob's answer because regardless of that fact that he's getting way better grades than me overall, a lot of his answers are decided by intuition and guessing instead of bothering to work through the whole process like I tend to do (which unfortunately tends to take a huge amount of time). Both of our methods work independently but learning to work together is something we could really improve on.

There's going to be another economics midterm in a couple days. I feel like my grasp on this chapter is -slightly- better than the first set but better safe than sorry. Today I spent about 3 hours just working my own copies of the excel templates. Jacob's templates made an extremely convenient reference for using those formulas. Because I've got such a good reference I'm deciding to ensure I'm getting the hang of excel by making my own copies of the templates instead of downloading Gray's. It's a long process but a rewarding one.

Today I was also good and read the first half of my insurance chapter for law. I found this one particularly interesting because it gave me a potential job insight. Insurance agents assess their clients rates by looking at the individual's risk that they will require compensation in the near future. Economics is all about risk evaluation. I am going to make sure to apply for a lot of insurance companies when I begin my career search. Wrote that one on the door.

Do you guys remember frosted toast? Did I mention that while working at Little Caesers? Our awesome roommate Charlie (who happens to be hispanic) brought home these freaking delicious marshmallow cookie treats that his mom sent him with. He'd done some grocery shopping recently and got some really delicious food... Like he went to a legit carneceria in Yakima and got some of the best ham I have ever eaten in my life. Even better than the smoked ham I've had on Christmas time because the moisture in this particular piece was suburb. One I suppose "nice" thing that's come out of the burglary is that Charlie has been over more frequently to keep tabs on his stuff. Understandable. Hopefully he's not keeping super close tabs on his food because I might've also had some of his Mexican brand Saltines.(**Since then I've been grocery shopping, damn munchies!)

I still haven't figured out a way to conveniently post a picture from my phone onto a blog entry I'm writing. I'm sure there is a way, I just haven't really tried.

Jacob and I laid next to eachother and had a really long conversation about better ways to respond to situations one of us feels defensive or uncomfortable about instead of blaming the other person. Granted Jacob does not blame me for things, sometimes even when it's partially my fault.. so I should do the same in return.

I cried today about not having my guitars. Not being able to practice has really been eating away at me. This super sweet, awesome guy named Tucker actually said he'd give me one of his guitars that has been since collecting dust and if he were to do that I would be grateful for the rest of my life. Losing my guitars has been like the kidnapping of two of my best friends. I might not ever see them again or bring them back but I can at least make new friends.

peace.

Unless I write it down for real, PS

Evening.

It's 10:07 PM and I'm feeling sort of drowsy. Today was sort of boring and I'm happy school is starting the day after tomorrow. Still no word from the Subway manager so I should probably try to call him tomorrow. I'm thinking he might have reconsidered hiring me. Hopefully not, I could definitely use the money, but this quarter is going to be hard and will probably hit me like a ton of bricks by this time next week. 

I didn't do anything remotely academic over spring break. Michael warned me that I should be looking over R which I didn't get around too. I also need to email updated copies of my resume to another couple internships I was looking at for this summer. It's really important that I get that stuff squared away too.. Doing well in an internship will really help me find a job after school and then I won't have to potentially move back into my parent's house after I graduate. 

I also had the intention of briefing the first couple chapters of my finance book to get prepared for what's to come. I actually might have done this had I brought the book back with me to benton city, and the stress of not having it made me want to leave home since Tuesday night. Of course I didn't because my Dad told me how silly that was and that I just needed to relax.

Stress is my biggest struggle. It prevents me from getting a lot done, especially when I'm not diligent about writing down what I need to accomplish in any given day. That structure alleviates a lot of stress for me and when I'm back home I feel like that structure completely evaporates. Whenever I sit down and try to do something productive it doesn't take long to get distracted. Whether it's someone talking to me or talking in the background, some loud TV somewhere, cats meowing at the door trying to get in or out, feeling uncomfortable because I'm in some unusual spot... 

Working out helped my stress a lot last quarter.

Luckily these type of distractions in my apartment are non-existent but I have to learn to adapt to being productive in other environments so I am not so frequently confined here.  Last quarter instead of working out at home using those videos I started using the gym which has been great, I really missed the gym this last week. 

....I've also missed the flipping library! One thing I did do a ton of over spring break was draw and I've got some awesome ones that I'm excited as hell to upload on Monday. Ever since I stopped taking lessons and allowed myself to more diversify my skills my drawing technique has shot through the roof and I'm having a blast drawing anyone I feel like....

peace.