Why are pretty girls so damn difficult

Well tonight sucked.

Friday night. Would I have liked to go out tonight? Yes. But I have no vehicle and though a couple guys asked me out to go drinking I declined. I really just want a girl to go out and have fun with. I texted Allie Thanksgiving weekend and she didn't reply, nor did she the previous times I'd tried. She has no facebook so that's it I guess.

Same thing with her friend Kala. I tried texting her and got no response... I'm sad to say I haven't seen either of them since halloween, November was a really boring month. I just feel like getting ahold of people around Ellensburg has become increasingly difficult for me.. like I'll text people and won't get responses, mainly girls. 

So of course this makes me feel like shit as a person because it's like well what the Hell did I do when in actuality it could be any number of things, such as jealously, orrrr thinking I take myself too seriously, or their lives are too involved with their boyfriends to have any want/need to spend time with other girls. Or most of the their friends that are girls have been their BFFs for a long time.


I've been stuck in this social limbo.... Guys flirt with me a lot so I do get that kind of attention in my day-to-day life and on facebook but hanging out with them is a touchy situation because they think you're interested in them romantically. And even if they know that you aren't they will still try. And I'm flattered by that but I hate feeling like I'm rejecting someone's emotions toward me.. So I feel like that's been the majority of my social life here. Guys that hit me up, I hang out with them once or twice, then they realize I'm not interested that way and/or won't put out and will move on. Very few lasting friendships because they feel hurt by me.


So over the past month or so I really have put some effort meeting and talking to girls.. Like I met that girl Audrey that I thought seemed really cool and tried to meet up with her which didn't work out and haven't been able to get in touch with her since.

That being said I'm going to go to bed and hope for a better day tomorrow.. and try to get some work done, though one thing's for certain I have to get out of this apartment. I spent way too much time studying here and I really thought I'd be going out tonight and I'm feeling creepy....


 Everything else that's actually important is going fine. I got an 85 on my econ test which raised my cumulative grade in the class to a 77 so that's a plus. Guitar solo is going really well and it's almost recital ready.

And I might be getting this beautiful guitar from my friend Michael E. for Christmas! Ahhh! 

peace. 

Didn't want to just go to bed

This blog is going to be short. It's 1 am. The fact that I've only practiced my guitar for an hour today and it's a Saturday is a little bit tragic, but I had a good day today.

I've felt a little icky looking the past couple days. I'm going to go to the salon and get a bang trim tomorrow. Hopefully I'll be able to find one open early on a Sunday. Tomorrow I also have a quick English assignment to do. Maybe start looking at economics chapter 11. That's my last chapter and there will be a last test on Thursday. I've done very well in that class. I don't think I'm going to show up on Friday just so see how I did on the test and make sure I passed the class. I know I passed. My last finite test will also be on Thursday, which will be about the statistics stuff that I told you about yesterday. 

English... I have to write that research paper on exotic animal ownership. The english assignment that I'm doing tomorrow requires using the sources (that I already found in the quick lab day, mind you. There was a "seminar" by some librarians that actually proved to be very helpful. I was able to find some articles on Ebscohost that I'm going to read and use in my research paper. I asked my professor for clarity on everything. She just nodded her head, like yes, yes, that's all fine. It was kind of funny. 

I will also get this started tomorrow if I'm not already seeing Abe. Oh wait.. I already did start it! I've been working very hard this past three weeks. I haven't had much... I guess distraction. But I have had a sense of longing. I like Abe, and I've had to wait for him for 3 weeks now. Originally we made plans on Thursday. Reina wanted to have lunch with me on Thursday. 

Well, I thought to myself, going to lunch with Reina would be a better option because she's my friend and she's only going to be here for a little while longer. Even if I really badly wanted to see Abe, I held off. He said "tomorrow". I.e. Friday, yesterday. He told me he was getting off of work at 6. I was busy enough on Friday. I did get some practicing done, gave a guitar lesson to Hassan, etc.. But I didn't get a chance to see Abe like I'd anticipated. He texted me saying he had a bloody nose. That he got hit in the face or something and it was going to take him awhile to get out the door. I didn't hear from him for an hour and a half or so. By about 8:30 I was like okay, what's going on here... I need to get ready. 

This girl named Emily invited to go to with her to a party. Well, she actually needed a ride to this party. No problem, I never know where these things are at so I wasn't too worried about it. I picked Emily up after getting Allie and we drove to this party. Emily had convinced us that instead of going to the barbeque we should go this place because there are going to be "way more people" and "way cooler." I didn't really care either way. I liked the idea of the party in town because it used less gas. I pushed the idea on Allie a bit for said reason and she said she was cool with doing whatever. We went to this party and it was packed full of people. 

I mean packed wall to wall. I have no idea who any of them were. I don't think Emily knew either but I guess that's just how these shindigs are. People get dolled up and get drunk with college kids in these houses that are pretty much used exclusively for partying. Blegh, what a life. 

Neither Allie or I were feeling it. I was feeling depressed because I wanted to see Abe that evening. I took this picture because I had told Allie earlier that I was talking my camera. She told me that I'm not allowed to tag her in photos because she could get in trouble. Fair enough. I just laugh because nothing about this picture would make her look like she's doing anything too devious. We were totally sober in that picture. I just wanted to get out of there. 

Right now, I'm quite frustrated because I haven't seen Abe and he might be out partying tonight, who knows. It's 1 in the morning on a... technically Sunday now. Ugh, my makeup feels gross with this much eye product on. I put on my makeup and this is one of those icky nights where I have to take it all off because nothing happened. I thought for sure after this hospital nonsense Abe would want to see me but apparently he's doing his own thing. Goodnight. 

peace.