Well tonight sucked.
Friday night. Would I have liked to go out tonight? Yes. But I have no vehicle and though a couple guys asked me out to go drinking I declined. I really just want a girl to go out and have fun with. I texted Allie Thanksgiving weekend and she didn't reply, nor did she the previous times I'd tried. She has no facebook so that's it I guess.
Same thing with her friend Kala. I tried texting her and got no response... I'm sad to say I haven't seen either of them since halloween, November was a really boring month. I just feel like getting ahold of people around Ellensburg has become increasingly difficult for me.. like I'll text people and won't get responses, mainly girls.
So of course this makes me feel like shit as a person because it's like well what the Hell did I do when in actuality it could be any number of things, such as jealously, orrrr thinking I take myself too seriously, or their lives are too involved with their boyfriends to have any want/need to spend time with other girls. Or most of the their friends that are girls have been their BFFs for a long time.
I've been stuck in this social limbo.... Guys flirt with me a lot so I do get that kind of attention in my day-to-day life and on facebook but hanging out with them is a touchy situation because they think you're interested in them romantically. And even if they know that you aren't they will still try. And I'm flattered by that but I hate feeling like I'm rejecting someone's emotions toward me.. So I feel like that's been the majority of my social life here. Guys that hit me up, I hang out with them once or twice, then they realize I'm not interested that way and/or won't put out and will move on. Very few lasting friendships because they feel hurt by me.
So over the past month or so I really have put some effort meeting and talking to girls.. Like I met that girl Audrey that I thought seemed really cool and tried to meet up with her which didn't work out and haven't been able to get in touch with her since.
That being said I'm going to go to bed and hope for a better day tomorrow.. and try to get some work done, though one thing's for certain I have to get out of this apartment. I spent way too much time studying here and I really thought I'd be going out tonight and I'm feeling creepy....
Everything else that's actually important is going fine. I got an 85 on my econ test which raised my cumulative grade in the class to a 77 so that's a plus. Guitar solo is going really well and it's almost recital ready.
peace.
Friday night. Would I have liked to go out tonight? Yes. But I have no vehicle and though a couple guys asked me out to go drinking I declined. I really just want a girl to go out and have fun with. I texted Allie Thanksgiving weekend and she didn't reply, nor did she the previous times I'd tried. She has no facebook so that's it I guess.
Same thing with her friend Kala. I tried texting her and got no response... I'm sad to say I haven't seen either of them since halloween, November was a really boring month. I just feel like getting ahold of people around Ellensburg has become increasingly difficult for me.. like I'll text people and won't get responses, mainly girls.
So of course this makes me feel like shit as a person because it's like well what the Hell did I do when in actuality it could be any number of things, such as jealously, orrrr thinking I take myself too seriously, or their lives are too involved with their boyfriends to have any want/need to spend time with other girls. Or most of the their friends that are girls have been their BFFs for a long time.
I've been stuck in this social limbo.... Guys flirt with me a lot so I do get that kind of attention in my day-to-day life and on facebook but hanging out with them is a touchy situation because they think you're interested in them romantically. And even if they know that you aren't they will still try. And I'm flattered by that but I hate feeling like I'm rejecting someone's emotions toward me.. So I feel like that's been the majority of my social life here. Guys that hit me up, I hang out with them once or twice, then they realize I'm not interested that way and/or won't put out and will move on. Very few lasting friendships because they feel hurt by me.
So over the past month or so I really have put some effort meeting and talking to girls.. Like I met that girl Audrey that I thought seemed really cool and tried to meet up with her which didn't work out and haven't been able to get in touch with her since.
That being said I'm going to go to bed and hope for a better day tomorrow.. and try to get some work done, though one thing's for certain I have to get out of this apartment. I spent way too much time studying here and I really thought I'd be going out tonight and I'm feeling creepy....
Everything else that's actually important is going fine. I got an 85 on my econ test which raised my cumulative grade in the class to a 77 so that's a plus. Guitar solo is going really well and it's almost recital ready.
And I might be getting this beautiful guitar from my friend Michael E. for Christmas! Ahhh!
peace.
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