Successfully Slacked off this Spring break, feeling ready now.

There is no denying that my time spent at home is serious relaxing.

It's Thursday evening and I plan to drive back tonight. As always I'm leaving home with a lot more than I came in with. Earlier this week my Mom and I went into town and bought a couple pairs of professional pants, a few pairs of shoes (two pairs of black heals, one pair of everyday tennis shoes that I needed badly because my other black ones are wearing out) and a couple cute tops and a button up blazer. She has a good eye for things. I feel like my wardrobe has expanded a lot already this year just by being less picky and allowing myself to wear more of a variety of things. 

I've been really lazy about taking care of myself or things that I need to do when I'm at home. Being here makes me feel really unmotivated. Partially because my stuff is strewn around the house, also because I'm not on my normal diet and feel groggy from too much over processed food and aspartame in diet coke that's always around here. I feel like a slob and have for the last four or five days but know that I've needed this time to relax my mind before things get crazy again. 

This upcoming quarter will likely be my hardest yet. I'm taking my capstone class for my economics degree, a finance class that I have a lot of pressure to understand considering I dropped it last quarter (plus I'm trying to get an auditing internship in the summer) and a forecasting class that's not going to be a cakewalk by any means-- the program that I'm going to be learning to use is completely foreign to me. 

Then I might also have a job at Subway which will add more to my agenda. I haven't gotten a call about starting work yet... I did get a new phone at the Sprint store the other day so I'll actually be able to hear if my manager calls. That phone was loooong overdue for a replacement. It's going to be nice to not have a phone that Terry and Kevin can't make fun of anymore.

Having gotten my tax return and these nice new things has been the highlight of my spring break. Most of my time has been spent at home either drawing or practicing guitar while watching videos. I fixed up my resume a bit and need to write a cover letter to finish the application for an auditing internship over the summer. It sounds exciting, I'm hoping what I've done so far is sufficient.

I just get so unmotivated when I'm here. Most days I usually don't shower until hours past noon and don't bother to put on makeup because it's not like I'm going to see anyone except my family. Over time this makes me feel more and more antsy and stircrazy. Feeling this way makes me feel angry and I end up taking it out on people around me because my Dad can be really high strung as it is, obviously. 

So yeah, it's been nice to be back and relax for a week but these next few days will be spent preparing for the quarter and trying to find some sort of routine again back in Ellensburg. 

peace. 

 

Never been so out of my mind.

Me using a tequila bottle as a meat cleaver. Michael came over and I made Parmesan chicken the other night. As you can see, though these bottles do have uses I have decided to discard them.

Evening.

Can't believe the last time I wrote was Tuesday, this week flew by. I've got a lot to say. This is the first time in awhile I can remember being too embarrassed to call my parents because of my actions. I've decided to really refrain from drinking from now on. This past week I've been taking a couple shots in the evening to both cure boredom and hide my feelings about the "Terry-having-a-girlfriend" situation (ha ha, I don't know why that's in quotes, can't get much more obvious than that.). I thought I could handle alcohol in my system but yesterday I realized I'm much more of a lightweight than I'd realized.

I got invited over by my Kenyan neighbors Joseph and Irene. It was super nice to see them and we had a great time talking and hanging out. I'd mentioned that I had a sink full of dishes and I had to get home to clean and Joseph offered me a shot of alcohol. Granted it was like 2 pm but it's also a saturday without a huge amount of homework so I said sure, what the hey... I was having a great time, eating chicken, whatever.

I don't know what proof that whiskey was but after taking just two shots of it I was drunk. Definately the drunkest I've ever been in my life. I don't even remember walking in the door to my apartment and putting the bowl of chicken in the fridge but I do remember going upstairs and falling on the floor, then puking all over my hair. I laid there for a second like "auuugh!!" and rolled over to clean up the mess. 

I then got in the shower to clean the puke out of my hair. I'm assuming I had eyemakeup everywhere and I don't remember washing my face. I dried myself off and did the weirdest thing... I put on just leggings and the wrestling tshirt I bought from Troy C. backwards. I went downstairs and took a Brokaid hoping it would somehow keep me awake to clean but I pretty much  passed out on the couch. Again this was at like 3 or 4 and my parents were planning to come that evening. My sink was still full of dirty dishes. 

When they came in and I woke up almost in a panic. I was super drunk and wanted to go back to sleep but the effects of the Bronkaid were also going through my system and making me feel wired and dizzy. My parents were like "What are you on?" I didn't mention the Bronkaid, I just said I'd drank with my neighbors and felt really, really sick. I was acting really paranoid and crazy. They dropped off some money and left shortly after (this was like 6:30 pm) and I overheard my dad say "Wow I was not expecting that" on his way out. 

I can't remember the last time I've felt so ashamed. I ended up sleeping until about 9:45 pm before I was able to sober enough to get online. Michael and I talked about what had happened and he's encouraging me in my plan to stop drinking entirely, or at least keep alcohol out of my house so that I don't feel tempted to drink when I'm bored in the evenings. 

I'm sure as Hell not drinking hard alcohol at Radcon either. In some sense I'm glad this happened because I was able to experience being practically incoherent drunk but in the safety of my own home instead of somewhere where someone could hurt me. *Quiver....* \

By the way in writing this I want in no way for there to be bad light shed on my neighbors. I was warned it was good and that I might not be able to study for a few hours but I overestimated my tolerance for such a high proof product. 

Oh well I lived to tell the tale, learned my lesson and can move forward with a healthier lifestyle. I still am not looking forward to re-discussing this situation with my parents what so ever and do not intend to call until a few days have passed and it seems like a distant memory. 

So for the rest of the evening I'll be going to the library to read my macro book and work on homework. I applied for an internship in Spokane for the summer that appears to fit my qualifications very well. I looked at the Batelle internships and most of them are for doing technical support for their information systems. My GPA isn't high enough to qualify for their statistical data analysis gig which sounded kind of cool but fine. I've worked my a** off for this 3.177 GPA and if it doesn't suit your standards I'll take my services elsewhere. 

peace.