Never been so out of my mind.

Me using a tequila bottle as a meat cleaver. Michael came over and I made Parmesan chicken the other night. As you can see, though these bottles do have uses I have decided to discard them.

Evening.

Can't believe the last time I wrote was Tuesday, this week flew by. I've got a lot to say. This is the first time in awhile I can remember being too embarrassed to call my parents because of my actions. I've decided to really refrain from drinking from now on. This past week I've been taking a couple shots in the evening to both cure boredom and hide my feelings about the "Terry-having-a-girlfriend" situation (ha ha, I don't know why that's in quotes, can't get much more obvious than that.). I thought I could handle alcohol in my system but yesterday I realized I'm much more of a lightweight than I'd realized.

I got invited over by my Kenyan neighbors Joseph and Irene. It was super nice to see them and we had a great time talking and hanging out. I'd mentioned that I had a sink full of dishes and I had to get home to clean and Joseph offered me a shot of alcohol. Granted it was like 2 pm but it's also a saturday without a huge amount of homework so I said sure, what the hey... I was having a great time, eating chicken, whatever.

I don't know what proof that whiskey was but after taking just two shots of it I was drunk. Definately the drunkest I've ever been in my life. I don't even remember walking in the door to my apartment and putting the bowl of chicken in the fridge but I do remember going upstairs and falling on the floor, then puking all over my hair. I laid there for a second like "auuugh!!" and rolled over to clean up the mess. 

I then got in the shower to clean the puke out of my hair. I'm assuming I had eyemakeup everywhere and I don't remember washing my face. I dried myself off and did the weirdest thing... I put on just leggings and the wrestling tshirt I bought from Troy C. backwards. I went downstairs and took a Brokaid hoping it would somehow keep me awake to clean but I pretty much  passed out on the couch. Again this was at like 3 or 4 and my parents were planning to come that evening. My sink was still full of dirty dishes. 

When they came in and I woke up almost in a panic. I was super drunk and wanted to go back to sleep but the effects of the Bronkaid were also going through my system and making me feel wired and dizzy. My parents were like "What are you on?" I didn't mention the Bronkaid, I just said I'd drank with my neighbors and felt really, really sick. I was acting really paranoid and crazy. They dropped off some money and left shortly after (this was like 6:30 pm) and I overheard my dad say "Wow I was not expecting that" on his way out. 

I can't remember the last time I've felt so ashamed. I ended up sleeping until about 9:45 pm before I was able to sober enough to get online. Michael and I talked about what had happened and he's encouraging me in my plan to stop drinking entirely, or at least keep alcohol out of my house so that I don't feel tempted to drink when I'm bored in the evenings. 

I'm sure as Hell not drinking hard alcohol at Radcon either. In some sense I'm glad this happened because I was able to experience being practically incoherent drunk but in the safety of my own home instead of somewhere where someone could hurt me. *Quiver....* \

By the way in writing this I want in no way for there to be bad light shed on my neighbors. I was warned it was good and that I might not be able to study for a few hours but I overestimated my tolerance for such a high proof product. 

Oh well I lived to tell the tale, learned my lesson and can move forward with a healthier lifestyle. I still am not looking forward to re-discussing this situation with my parents what so ever and do not intend to call until a few days have passed and it seems like a distant memory. 

So for the rest of the evening I'll be going to the library to read my macro book and work on homework. I applied for an internship in Spokane for the summer that appears to fit my qualifications very well. I looked at the Batelle internships and most of them are for doing technical support for their information systems. My GPA isn't high enough to qualify for their statistical data analysis gig which sounded kind of cool but fine. I've worked my a** off for this 3.177 GPA and if it doesn't suit your standards I'll take my services elsewhere. 

peace. 

Becoming a better chef : ) Beauty inspirations and more

I spent my entire day at home... either playing guitar and watching Netflix or cooking something. I must admit I had really good food today.

I believe I'm becoming a better chef. That, or I'm good at picking things out at the grocery store.. But I feel like I eat so good here and I've sort of developed my own "taste" in how I cook if you will. 

Here's a list of things I cook most frequently (in no particular order):

1. Mexican eggs. Eggs, bacon bits, chopped olives, salsa, fried tortillas

2. Tempura chicken. Chicken dipped in flour, then egg, then tempura mix. Served with rice and Asian vegetables.

3. Speghetti noodles. With parmesan cheese and butter. Served with piece of grilled chicken.

4. Grilled chicken thigh with Magic blend seasoning. Or "Saigon" seasoning. 

5. Grilled thin steak topped with chopped peppers. Marinated in Thai rooster sauce. 

6. French fries. Potatos and other starchy foods help prevent panic attacks, according to Ashley. I've been trying to eat bananas, too, and I haven't felt like I was going to have a panic attack all day.

7. Steak donburi bowl. Chopped steak and veggies over rice. Sort of inspired by bibimbap. 

I had a steak donburi bowl for lunch today, actually. It's such a pain in the ass to clean out my rice pot that I don't make rice half as much as I used too. I can't believe I used to leave those rice pots alone in the sink when I lived back home, how rude... 

Josie D. commented a recent post I made on facebook and offered to show me how to wave my hair in 15 minutes. I think that would be really fun. 

I love Emma Watson, she's always been sort of a beauty inspiration to me so I'd like to figure out how to do my hair similarly. 

On the opposite side of the spectrum, some suicide girls have also been beauty inspirations to me as well. 

peace.