It holds you, so hold me

And the pain still hates me
So hold me, until it sleeps

Yesterday I had my second recital, which was somewhat different than the first one I'd performed in. It was definitely more brief because there were less performances which worked in my favor because I had to make it to work on time. Had it been my day off I would have liked it to be a little longer.

I was disappointed to have not seen Jacob's band's singer there. Next recital is around Christmas and I'm hoping to play either Anastasia or Master of Puppets. I say Master of Puppets because Jake already knows how to play it and I'm sure Ryan and Jeff do too. Christmas concert I could shred that shit... lol.

So yeah each recital has been like a new start for me. I feel like it's a clean slate to new opportunities to expand my skill and knowledge on the guitar.

Invention went fine... I did it by memory because I'd had some trouble with  my clipboard and switching pages so I sort of gunned through the second half. According to my mom it didn't sound like there was a noticeable amount of missed notes in the second half and that it sounded the most technically challenging.  So yeah I feel satisfied with it, but also kind of happy that it's off my shoulders.

Still no word from whoever gave me the flowers..... My mom at this point is like "What the f**k?" but I'm like "Give it time...." The reason I say this is because if it is the person I suspect it is he might have some plan and likes the process of formulating it and if I talk to him it'll probably blow it. Yet at the same time there's still the chance that it's not him and could be someone totally out of left field that really admires me from afar and I don't realize it.

....Which some part of me still thinks is more likely than the person I'm thinking of going out and buying me $70 fucking flowers. Over the past year I feel like my relationships with men have been mysteries like this.

I've got work today at 2. Feeling like going back to  bed right now but I'm going to drink more coffee and power through it.

peace.