If I weren't leaving I think I'd be with you. [5 days!]

My Grandma and I had lunch today, which is an enormous burden off my shoulders because she hadn't really heard from my family in a couple years and wanted to know how we were doing. I told her how Avery and I are doing very well, and that neither of us are mad at her. Though the situation is extremely frustrating and my Dad has felt lost without the farm things just happen. We're all still in good health and I should at least make an effort to visit once and awhile.

I've never actually watched the show Bob's Burgers. I'm just... not interested, the animation turns me off. 

We went to Bob's Burgers and I got fish and chips. I only ate a little of it because I wasn't super hungry and wanted to save the leftovers for later but my mom ate them a few minutes after I stuck it in the fridge. Sigh.. I thought she'd at least leave some of it for me, I think I actually said I didn't want any more of it. Probably for the best that I don't eat two big servings of fish and chips in one day...

This morning it took me awhile to get out of bed and I've only practiced the guitar 40 minutes today. I'm going to need a new motivation now that Jacob will no longer be teaching me. I was thinking of starting a new reward system where if I practice my three hours (which will probably shorten to 2 once I start with school) a day I'll put a sticker on my sheet. At the end of the week, for every sticker on my sheet I'll earn $5.  I'll take the cash directly out of the bank and spend it on absolutely whatever I want/need with it.

Better a reward system with cash than food.

Katelynn and I hung out today for a bit. It was a quick visit because she drove out here and had to leave because Alan needed his car. I read her the crazy Trisha/Dylan blog entry, it was the first time she'd gotten the detailed story. They texted me again recently when Dad and I went to Hobby Lobby asking if I wanted to let the "past be the past" and hang out again. Uhm, no thank you...? Just thinking about them makes me shake with anxiousness. I've never been with anyone that finds and points out my flaws so readily.

Katelynn mentioned that she saw Josh K. recently at Albertsons or something. I'm sad that he never really comes into Rite Aid anymore. I don't know if it's because of me because he feels obligated to make small talk or if it's because he can't drink monsters anymore... Or maybe he just doesn't drink monsters and smoke cigarettes anymore. OR he is buying them but found a better deal than Rite Aid. Either way, I haven't seen him in weeks, and I probably won't get a chance to say goodbye.

I'll spend the majority of my shift wondering this tomorrow. The funny thing about Josh is this... I think he is s attracted to me as I am to him but he has never wanted to start something because I'm leaving. This is also probably why  we haven't spent any time together since then (he's messaged me drunk a couple times wanting me to come out there but I don't want that right now... even if I would have liked too). He's been my only interest this summer. He's always been really respectful toward me which is huge. He's confident, nice, AND smoking hot.. all good qualities. I imagine if I weren't going to college, Josh and I would be dating.

But things aren't going to happen that way because they weren't meant too. For some reason God wanted me to have some major alone time this summer, apparently.

5 days!!!

Check it out I finally got a new default. 

Giggity.

It's been awhile since I've been able to get a decent webcam shot. I like my facebook picture to be pretty nondescript like this. 

Shoot it's almost 8:00. I stayed up late one night last night and woke up with worse acne than yesterday, even if the one on my face on the left disappeared I've got two more now near my chin. I need to order differin again but it's so expensive and that'll take a good chunk from my last paycheck but oh well, it's an $80 rescue product that I always should have on hand with my skin issues.

Tomorrow is my last Saturday shift. I have to go into it with a good attitude like I did on Thursday to make it through as quickly as possible.

peace.