Bored ass friday night. (My Mom's out partying and I'm sitting at the computer lol)

Hi. Soo, my day was going relatively well until I made this idiotic decision to buy the direct download of the Sims 2 Seasons expansion from Amazon and accidentally ordered the Sims 3 version. There's $16 down the toilet for nothing. Tomorrow I've got to put the $60 cash I've been hanging onto in my wallet back into my debit card because I now have no clue how much is in there. ...Stupid, stupid... 

Hate wasting money.

I do have some really good news though! I got a job interview at Maverick. This guy Brad called and asked me a few questions like whether or not I've got a reliable source of transportation and how long I'll be sticking around and what not. Every time I've gone to Maverick the people that work there seemed really friendly so I'd be happy to get the chance to work there.

They're open 24 hours so I should get a good number of hours if I let them schedule me whenever. I'd be fine with that, I've been sleeping at weird times lately anyway and would like to have some kind of routine again even if it's night shifts. It's going to feel nice to finally make some money and buy lots of new clothes for my last quarter in college.

Andrew and I are gonna be GAY amd MERRY at the Sance faire tomorrow!! 

Today was pretty boring. I finished painting the benches in the backyard and played guitar. I've been doing quite a bit of that lately. I'm going to exercise after I finish writing this and probably go to bed considering it's 10:30 and I've got a fun day planned tomorrow! Andrew C. scored me a vendor pass to get into the renaissance faire so I'm very excited to be getting in free this year. The fair is always a blast. I love going anywhere that people are dressed up in costume and some are taking it really seriously, lol. I've got a gypsy costume my mom helped me put together today.

Oh jeez I did have something interesting happen the other day. Dalton and I hung out for the first time the other evening. I invited him and Darren over to chill for a bit and we all just talked while the TV was on. Darren M. has been in town from Texas and staying at Jon K. house (which I passed like 6 times when I was working out at the orchard).

Dalton's going into his Junior year of college so has taken some business credits like accounting 251 and 252 so I was quite impressed. We kind of both related on the fact that we thought accounting's boring but it was fun to learn at the time. Darren is in the military so he was telling us about that style of life and how you live according to certain protocol but still do get a lot of free time. He was dating a girl for quite awhile and they'd just broken up so he brought her up a lot. You can tell she's still on his mind and might have come to Washington to not think about it, who knows.

Anyway I'm gonna get going. Dance time!! woo

peace. 

Learning to say No.

Saying No seems to be a huge challenge for me.

Whether it's with making plans, buying stuff, telling people things-- it's just really hard for me to say "No" because I have this weird sense deep down that if I say "No" I'll somehow disappoint someone or miss out on something. I've been trying to work on this, and after some deep thought last night I've really come to the conclusion that saying no is going to play a huge role in learning to respect myself. Because I need to keep in consideration my health, my money, my success, my consequences; when making these decisions. Granted, there are always things that I will say no too, such as:
-Doing drugs. Actual drugs, mind you. And cigarettes. Ef both of those.

-Heavy drinking in places where I'm really uncomfortable or don't know anyone. Ef that, too. I want to be in control in those situations.

-Stupid free dental screenings at CBC. Yeah, like I want some rookie dental assistant poking around at my teeth and telling me about the many services I can get from other rookies with their mentors watching them. Nooo thank you.

-Really fatty food. If someone offers to give me the rest of their fries, I'll almost inevitably say no.

But yeah, other things... I'm not going to go too into specifics, I really need to learn to say no too. Like, say someone is asking me to hang out with them when I KNOW I have work the next morning and KNOW I have to get homework and studying done but don't want to disappoint that person and have them not like me anymore. What I want to know is, who the fuck cares? Anyone who actually cares about me will understand that I have work to get done. Life goes on. Because lately, I've been struggling in school because I've been pushing it aside to hang out with people instead of getting work done that I know needs to get done or I'm gonna be kicking myself and crying because I didn't do it earlier.

That and everybody seems to want me to buy shit from them. Idk if it's just because I have money all the time or what, but continually I'm getting people that want me to buy stuff. Like Leah recently, I can't seem to ever talk to her without her trying to sell me something.

Here's me at the halloween event, cute right? lol. The tail looks like a Wii remote.

Anyway, I talked to Leah for the first time in awhile and she commented on my collar, saying she could make me a real one. I'm like, "Ehh.. this isn't an everyday deal.." She then said, "Yeah I make them for costume and in the bedroom." I'm laugh, not really getting it at first. For some reason my first thought was as a decoration. Guess I'm not as perverted as I thought.

Once I got it I'm like "WOAH, noo I'm not really into that stuff." Honestly, I'm not though. She then continued to talk about all the stuff she's making, tra-la-la. But normally I'd be like, sure why the hell not, I'll buy something. I'm like this especially when friends are trying to sell me something. Granted, if Samantha had some art or something that she was selling, I'd buy it from her just because I know she doesn't have the ability to get a job right now (not having a car, etc..) but if someone is capible of getting a job, I see no reason why I should buy something from them unless I really want/need that thing.

So anyway....

Hung out with Ryan last night. This I think is the 6th time we'd seen eachother, and we sort of laid together upstairs talking about different things. I finally mentioned TWO white elephants in the room. The first was triggered by him talking about how he's going to be partying with all Troy, Jesse, Garrett, and Jack today. When he mentioned it I sort of groaned, and was like "Ughh don't bring him up." He told me that he didn't get why I hated him so much, so I finally told him what happened and why I'd prefer he didn't bring Jack up and not to bring ME up today, which I had a feeling wouldn't be mentioned anyway but I wanted to cover my bases just in case.

I also mentioned the second white elephant, the fact that I felt sort of strange about this whole thing. Like, the only way I can describe it is that when I'm with Ryan I feel like we're related. Which of course, we're not. At all. But I've known him for so long that it's strange that it would even relatively go in this direction, which he agreed with... Apparently he's been sort of feeling the same thing.

Okay so today, I'm going to say something possitive! Lately I've been noticing how pretty my skin actually is, which I guess before I never noticed because I had acne for so long. Like I feel like I can leave the house without that much makeup on. This morning, I was running late for work because I'd left my phone at Ryan's house and had to run over there with my hair soaked at 10:30 (had work at 11, unexpected shift that Dana gave me when Tracy was sick), and didn't think too much of it. That's another thing-- Ryan's now seen me in the following icky scenarios that I usually wouldn't be caught dead looking like:

1. With my hair all curly (my hair had been up in a bun that day. That was the night that he wanted to see me at 2 am. Actually, yeah the first time we ever hung out)

2. Looking like I've been on crank for three days (this was last night after my shift. I was freakin exausted and pasty from being sick)

3. Tilapia'd. Red eyed. This was when I was with Katelynn.

and lastly,

4. Literally out of the shower, wearing a rammstein shirt and knee length shorts, eye makeup under my eyes, wet hair.

Maybe, with that, I feel like I can trust him to an extent. The fact that he's STILL interested in me even after seeing me look like complete shit and I've completely acted like myself around him. That's another thing. I've put up no cherade (Charade? Cherad? I have no idea how to spell that. My mom says it a lot. Basically an "act.") around him and he seems to like hanging out with me for who I am. That alone, makes me trust him more than anyone I've been with this last year.

Work today sucked... I always feel like I'm making mistakes and that I'm going to get fired. Everything I do is always wrong. Always breaking some kind of rule. There's so many to remember. My dad showed up to buy some random junk and took me out to dinner around 7'. That was pretty awesome, there's this 3 Margaritas place over by where I work that has the quickest service ever, even if every time we've been there it's been swamped busy.

Well I'm gonna wrap this up. Right now I'm downloading the sims seasons via direct download, and it's taking ages. I'm gonna study.

yours,

Emily

Sims Downloading Nightmare.

I recently got a new computer, sort of. It's the Dell computer that was downstairs, that is currently making up for my lack of a laptop. Yep, my laptop finally took a shit and I lost my music, my custom sims town called Woodland with all of it's amazing characters, and GuitarPro. It sucks, but life goes on, I figured it would happen eventually.

Pretty much my entire day has been consumed by trying to understand why my Sims expansions have been having so much trouble downloading to my practically new Dell computer.

Originally, at about 8 pm last night... I thought it would be easy to download the sims games. Practically new computer, virgin of practically any downloading, six sims games that all downloaded perfectly onto my old laptop, and all of the serial codes. No problem, right? WRONG.

Last night I tried inserting the Double Deluxe disc, the base sims game. The disc drive didn't seem to read it, or recognize the information on the disc at all. Originally, me and my mom thought it was a broken or dirty disc drive, but then we inserted Sims Bon Voyage and it loaded fine. Okay, faulty disc. So then, I decided, Hell, might as well buy one from EA games.

I bought Double Deluxe and had to go through the process of creating a stupid EA games account as well as download the Sims download manager software, which is chock full of advertisements and other garbage. I proceeded to download it, and thought it would go fine.... I was very patient, as the game loaded about 0.01% every minute... sometimes it sped up, sometimes it would halt entirely and actually set BACK the percentage. This drove me crazy, yet I waited patiently until about 12 am when I had to go to sleep. By the next morning, it was at 98.05%, and stops.

I called customer service, and the woman on the line said there was nothing I could do, aside from get a direct internet connection. My mom and I MOVED my desktop computer to the floor, nearly breaking the screen, to do so. The download sped up a bit, then slowed down once more. I then moved my computer up to my desk again and somehow I picked up a good connection and downloaded.. in about four hours. Woo. But then I had the problem with my expansion packs...

Open for Business, Bon Voyage, and Freetime downloaded no problem because they are two disc games, but for some reason my computer would not read the other 1-disc expansions. So at this point my sims have the option to start a shitty business, spend their time at a pottery wheel, and go on vacation... but can't go to college, have pets or stay at hotels/apartments. I had to get ahold of customer service once more, and the woman told me I needed to contact my Dell provider instead because of the faulty disc drive. Right, like they're going to help me with this incredibly specific problem. I didn't lose hope though. I asked the woman if there was any way I could transfer the disc information from the sims game from one computer to the other-- because for some reason the 1-disc games work on my mom's computer. I know this is my Dell's fault.

So here I am, it's already 10:11 pm and I'm trying to transfer over my other sims games using my dad's thumbdrive-- which if it breaks I'm in deep shit. It's taking ages, because not only do I have to wait for the information from the sim disc to transfer to the thumb drive, but I also have to wait for it to transfer from the thumb drive onto my computer, THEN wait for the game to load. Thus far, my efforts have been futile. The stupid "Sims 3" advertisement software imbedded into the game has been screwing up my download. I'm trying really hard to make it work, but this is going to be my last attempt.. because at this point I don't know what to do. I could always buy another disc drive that could hook up to this one, but maybe it's the COMPUTER that doesn't read it... and then I'd waste money that I don't have.

So that's the story. It's a mess. I am really disappointed with not only the Maxis software, but how my computer has been acting.. I just wish it would of been simple like it was on my laptop and not an all day ordeal. Well hey, the Lord givith and the Lord takith away. Right now I've been working on getting University life downloaded, and honestly if this one works and the other two don't I'll be happy anyways. Apartment life is really nice, but I can still build hotels with Bon Voyage, I believe. Most of the features that I would want in Apartment life are available with Bon Voyage and Open for Business... however, when all of the expansions are working together, the game is fantastic and leaves a lovely campus for the greatest escape and creativity. I'm going to start sharing my creations online if I can get this damn game to run smoothly.

Today I ran, and shortly after me and my dad went out to dinner. So I guess the calories that I burned running didn't make much of a difference. I got a small hamburger at the Bears Den place, and it tasted really bomb. The menu options were kind of limited, so the hamburger was the only thing that looked good. It came with fries too, but I didn't eat them because I was already pretty full and didn't really want them because they're so bad for me.

Alright, gotta go, gonna mess around on mall world. Here I am, in my room, a computer next to me downloading a video game and a computer in front of me writing a blog. Wow, the internet changes people.

yours,

Emily