Just when I thought this fiasco was over.

My mom whips out fucking Netflix.

This morning I had to call customer service, AGAIN, for the third time. This morning, thinking everything was going to work, I ran "Bon Voyage" and it told me to INSERT FUN WITH PETS. Fuck!!! Because of course Fun with Pets doesn't work. I call customer service, again, explain to them my situation, and they tell me to delete Fun with Pets and they'll give me a free download of it... which means another lovely 6 hour long download depending on how my computer's internet bandwidth is feeling today. They ended up transfering me to a guy that says that they don't have Fun with Pets in their system because it's so old, but they do have apartment life that they could send me. So I deleted fun with pets, good ridance, and decided to have apartment life and have the game running would be JUST FINE with me-- and if I ever get a new disc drive I'll download the other two expansions later.

Regardless, I was HAPPY the problem seemed to be almost solved. I am very convinced that when this is finished loading, it will work.

BUT IT'S NOT LOADING.

Because my mom is using fucking NETFLIX IN THE LIVING ROOM TO FALL ASLEEP. I was SO FUCKING CLOSE to getting this thing to work, and she's like "I don't care, i'm so tired of hearing about you bitch about this game! I can't believe how over dramatic you're getting about a game!" Well I had to jump though about 12 flaming hoops and NOW I finally have it figured out and this thing would only take an hour to load if I had the proper bandwidth. But no, now shes in there with a movie that she's not even watching, and it's hogging the entire bandwidth.

Why the fuck is it that my computer doesn't have first priority with the bandwidth and her computer can run snail pace ass slow?! Because my computer is a stupid Dell desktop computer that has only caused me issues and frustration since I bought it.

This game says it has 9 hours left to download. I can't leave the computer because once it becomes idle it stops downloading. So I'm going to try to sit here, and study, and not obsess on how long the game is taking to load. When my mom falls asleep i'm going to go out in the living room and turn it off.

Today, my dad threatend to kick me out of the house because of my anger problems.

It's so funny that my dad has chronic anger problems and continually screams at everyone, then yells at me and acts like he never does it. Because of the amount of anger and depression that i've been going through I've started to scratch my own arm with my now long nails. I scratch into it like a cat would do if it scratched you. Fast, hard, and digs into the skin enough that it leaves a mark. I would never be able to take a razor blade to my arm, and to tell you the truth I don't know why I do this. When they asked about it I said it was a dog attack, but it's actually from me trying to calm myself down. Because for some reason, when I'm extremely angry or frustrated or depressed and feel like screaming at everyone, when I scratch into my arm it calms me down, and I now understand why people cut themselves.

I wish I didn't have anger problems. I wish I didn't have a personality disorder. I wish I didn't have to put my family through this, and I wish the tension would get better. This has been a domino effect. My dad's family abandoned him, my dad is going stir crazy, therefore my dad screams at us on a regular basis, creating tension in the house. This tension leads to me feeling angry, thus yelling at my mom and sister. This then leads to isolation, thus going stir crazy myself and causing self mutilation.

I need to stop this before it gets out of hand.

Yours,

Emily

Sims Downloading Nightmare.

I recently got a new computer, sort of. It's the Dell computer that was downstairs, that is currently making up for my lack of a laptop. Yep, my laptop finally took a shit and I lost my music, my custom sims town called Woodland with all of it's amazing characters, and GuitarPro. It sucks, but life goes on, I figured it would happen eventually.

Pretty much my entire day has been consumed by trying to understand why my Sims expansions have been having so much trouble downloading to my practically new Dell computer.

Originally, at about 8 pm last night... I thought it would be easy to download the sims games. Practically new computer, virgin of practically any downloading, six sims games that all downloaded perfectly onto my old laptop, and all of the serial codes. No problem, right? WRONG.

Last night I tried inserting the Double Deluxe disc, the base sims game. The disc drive didn't seem to read it, or recognize the information on the disc at all. Originally, me and my mom thought it was a broken or dirty disc drive, but then we inserted Sims Bon Voyage and it loaded fine. Okay, faulty disc. So then, I decided, Hell, might as well buy one from EA games.

I bought Double Deluxe and had to go through the process of creating a stupid EA games account as well as download the Sims download manager software, which is chock full of advertisements and other garbage. I proceeded to download it, and thought it would go fine.... I was very patient, as the game loaded about 0.01% every minute... sometimes it sped up, sometimes it would halt entirely and actually set BACK the percentage. This drove me crazy, yet I waited patiently until about 12 am when I had to go to sleep. By the next morning, it was at 98.05%, and stops.

I called customer service, and the woman on the line said there was nothing I could do, aside from get a direct internet connection. My mom and I MOVED my desktop computer to the floor, nearly breaking the screen, to do so. The download sped up a bit, then slowed down once more. I then moved my computer up to my desk again and somehow I picked up a good connection and downloaded.. in about four hours. Woo. But then I had the problem with my expansion packs...

Open for Business, Bon Voyage, and Freetime downloaded no problem because they are two disc games, but for some reason my computer would not read the other 1-disc expansions. So at this point my sims have the option to start a shitty business, spend their time at a pottery wheel, and go on vacation... but can't go to college, have pets or stay at hotels/apartments. I had to get ahold of customer service once more, and the woman told me I needed to contact my Dell provider instead because of the faulty disc drive. Right, like they're going to help me with this incredibly specific problem. I didn't lose hope though. I asked the woman if there was any way I could transfer the disc information from the sims game from one computer to the other-- because for some reason the 1-disc games work on my mom's computer. I know this is my Dell's fault.

So here I am, it's already 10:11 pm and I'm trying to transfer over my other sims games using my dad's thumbdrive-- which if it breaks I'm in deep shit. It's taking ages, because not only do I have to wait for the information from the sim disc to transfer to the thumb drive, but I also have to wait for it to transfer from the thumb drive onto my computer, THEN wait for the game to load. Thus far, my efforts have been futile. The stupid "Sims 3" advertisement software imbedded into the game has been screwing up my download. I'm trying really hard to make it work, but this is going to be my last attempt.. because at this point I don't know what to do. I could always buy another disc drive that could hook up to this one, but maybe it's the COMPUTER that doesn't read it... and then I'd waste money that I don't have.

So that's the story. It's a mess. I am really disappointed with not only the Maxis software, but how my computer has been acting.. I just wish it would of been simple like it was on my laptop and not an all day ordeal. Well hey, the Lord givith and the Lord takith away. Right now I've been working on getting University life downloaded, and honestly if this one works and the other two don't I'll be happy anyways. Apartment life is really nice, but I can still build hotels with Bon Voyage, I believe. Most of the features that I would want in Apartment life are available with Bon Voyage and Open for Business... however, when all of the expansions are working together, the game is fantastic and leaves a lovely campus for the greatest escape and creativity. I'm going to start sharing my creations online if I can get this damn game to run smoothly.

Today I ran, and shortly after me and my dad went out to dinner. So I guess the calories that I burned running didn't make much of a difference. I got a small hamburger at the Bears Den place, and it tasted really bomb. The menu options were kind of limited, so the hamburger was the only thing that looked good. It came with fries too, but I didn't eat them because I was already pretty full and didn't really want them because they're so bad for me.

Alright, gotta go, gonna mess around on mall world. Here I am, in my room, a computer next to me downloading a video game and a computer in front of me writing a blog. Wow, the internet changes people.

yours,

Emily