Finally!! My CBC Halloween event video!

This is probably going to be a quick entry because I should really be studying for my kanji quiz tomorrow. This one is going to be hard, chapters 11 in the genki book and chapter 9 in the K L&L. The problem is that, well, I suck at kanji and I haven't studied these at all until this point aside from the little we do in class. So it's gonna be a long night for me. I need to print out some kanji squares or get grid paper or something.

At the moment, I'm publishing a lonnnng late video for CBC Japanese club's halloween event. I have to say, there's a lot of, well, me in it. My face starts the movie, my face ends it, rambling on. I put all the costume entries into little clips and had a long clip of me and Hannah playing ping pong-- it's pretty cute, but I'm having a feeling people might be a little annoyed with how much of me there is in it? But honestly, if I'm uploading it to my youtube channel it has to have a bit of a format, it's a vlog channel so it's gotta have my little introductions and explaining of things. I tried pretty hard on this video, I'm not getting paid for it, and if anyone has a problem with it I might be a little saddened.


Today was a very productive math day, as mondays tend to be. I finished an ENTIRE practice final that was 50 problems long! That's 3 hours of studying, again. You know how hard I'm working at this? I cannot fail that damn final! And you know what I'm gonna do the day of? I'm gonna do what I always do on final days-- I'm gonna show up at 8 in the morning and study until my final at 5. Well, with breaks in between, definately.. but still! I'm gonna dedicate as much time as a possibly can to learning absolutely every little detail I have to know so that there are no surprises on that test. It might of defeated practically everyone else once, but it won't get me. : )

This weekend is going to be a lot of studying. I'm not getting drunk this weekend and I'm not intending on having a lot of fun. If possible, it'd be cool to see *someone* but I really don't want to push it. I haven't got many work hours this week, either. Tomorrow I work from 5-closing and then from 5-closing on saturday. That gives me a lot of free time to study for the oral exam, Japanese final and the math final. The Japanese final is scaring me, as always... I really don't understand this grammar very well because I haven't studied nearly as hard as I have in other quarters, probably because this math is so important to me. But I can do it. Having the patience I do and the endless fear of failure, I can continue to cram.

Man, what was I taking this time last year? Japanese I, uhhmmm... wow, I can't remember anything else I was taking last fall. I think maybe that stupid Speech essentials class? That sounds about right. Last winter was way, way more memorable than last fall. It's hard to believe how far I've come in Japanese and how hard I've worked in the past year. I feel like I am ready for university level classes.

That makes me think though, the people that leave to a university right out of highschool without taking any community college credits... I bet so many people have RUDE awakenings when they figure out how hard college level classes are in comparison to highschool, and on top of the stress of moving out on their own. . . I really couldn't imagine and I'm glad I didn't take that road, even though I guess I never really had the option too.

I need to dye my hair. I haven't dyed it in ages and it's starting to look this sort of orangey brown. Like, I look like a total redhead in certain lights. I don't particularily like how I look redhead, it makes imperfections come out. I am thinking dark brown with blonde streaks. A lot of people are saying all over blonde, but I don't want to damage my hair to that extent. I've already got split ends, and they're just bound to fry if I do blonde. I need a trim pretty bad, too. I just can't spend too much money because of the holidays and the fact that my hours at rite aid are awful; I'm not gonna be making too much money. I'm gonna get a box dye at Sally's and have my mom do it, works like a charm every time. My mom is fantastic at dying hair. Cutting though, ehh no I leave that to the professionals. But I dread going to the salon because I'm always afraid they're going to say all of my hair is split ends and they need to cut almost all of it off for it to look any good. The back of my hair is always sort of a rats nest, and I avoid looking at it...
PEOPLE LIKE MY VIDEO! woohoo.

yours,
emily

Warning, another pissed off blog entry. You don't have to read it. It'll turn around a bit towards the end, I promiss.

Today I'm planning on getting my hair colored. With what money, I have no clue. Me and my mom were on the couch talking about potential colors, and I was actually thinking about getting brown with pink streaks in it. My mom said that would look like shit and would be too expensive, so I put out the idea of getting anything "rebelious" or interesting, so I'm going with a chocolate brown... again. My mom found this picture:

She thinks I should get little lighter streaks in it to give it some volume or something. I don't really like this picture because you can't really even see the colors. I know that if I went to go get it done and my mom came with, Nathan would be asking me questions like "So do you want the lighter brown streaks?" And I'd be like, "No" but my mom would cut in and say that there HAS TO BE.

My dad thinks I want to dye it BLACK. Yes, I typically do go with a dark brown, but I have never dyed it black, ever. Have I wanted too? Yes. Would I like it if my hair was black? Probably. But I won't do it because my parents would harrass me about it. The last few times that I've gotten my hair dyed close to black was after a horrific haircut, so I didn't like how THAT looked and the combination of the two made me hate it. I think I would actually like black hair if my hair was long. Granted, I'd rather not people think I'm trying to look asian, so I'm going to avoid that. I want dark brown, as always.

My dad came up and was yelling at me about how I look like shit when I have dark hair, and that I look "angry." I know that they both think I would look better blonde. I know this because my mom has manipulated me to dye my hair blonde before. How the FUCK can they think I look good blonde? For one thing, having that color hair makes me insecure because I think it looks ugly. It makes the redness in my face come out.

She literally said, when I was suggesting I get an all over dark brown..

"You think you're EVER going to get a job or a boyfriend with that dark hair?"

Now that I understand where her mind set is, her opinion's credibility means absolutely nothing to me. I'm tired of her telling me what looks good and what doesn't look good because now I feel that my own opinion isn't valid and it's not fair.

Forget it, I'm not even going to do this today... my blog entries are so depressing lately because the only time I come on here is when I want to rant about something because I'm pissed off practically all the time.

It's gotten to the point where I don't ever even post these to my facebook wall anymore because I'm slightly humiliated by the stuff that I write because I know my anger and insecurities are pathetic. I'm NOT always angry, but it comes out when I'm at home. I'm typically happy when I'm on the go, with my friends, or at school.

Anyway....

Last night was really fun. Me and Katelynn got pretty drunk with this drink called Joose. I wasn't originally going to drink it but I wanted to get my mind off some things so I didn't mind.

Yesterday originally me and Guy were going to go down to Hermiston but plans didn't end up working out. Of course, they weren't really plans. I just think Guy got the idea when I was leaving and he didn't want me too-- but it was just an idea, and it turned out he was going to spend some time with his mom yesterday instead. Apparently Cory and him are going to some rave thing today, and I was invited to go but I don't really want too. Reason being, I don't really know them enough to be able to travel with them. As much as I like spontanious things, I've been out the last couple nights, and really just should chillax today. Plus I need to save gas money...

Shavonne invited me over for dinner tonight but it's another lonnnnng drive to kennewick and I don't want to have to pay gas money to go out there. Seems like I'm constantly in kennewick lately.

Honestly the perfect way to spend the rest of my day today, in my opinion, is to go out on a run in this nice rainy weather, come home and play the bass, start on my college applications, and maybe take a little nap. Really nothing exciting, but still a good way to spend my saturday. We'll see if anything comes up.

yours,

emily

NEW HAIRCUT, black tea, and party updates.

Is this not just precious?

I took this picture to show off my new haircut and decided to take a silly face one because I have too many pouty pictures. Then I decided to mess with the lovely sticker feature on piknic. Mm, icecreambeerhotdogshishkabobs.

I really shouldn't be blogging right now because I need to get a move on with this huge assignment. Not only that but I'm on my mom's computer. Luckily, it's not due tomorrow and I'm assuming a lot of people in my class are intending on starting it tomorrow around 10ish in the computer lab, which I'll be doing too.. So just to attempt to stay ahead of the game, here I am, Sunday night, fiddle fucking around with an assignment that should be at least half way done by now. But I have resources. Tons of them. Shouldn't be terribly hard.

Today I tried legit England black tea at Andrew's house. It was interesting. Really woke me up more than green tea would, I think there's a lot more caffeine in it. Andrew added milk to his, making it look exactly like coffee. It was hot as hell, and we sat around watching the Office drinking it. What a couple of cool kids, haha. It was good though, but I am such a coffee person it's hard for me to like tea as much. I'm really starting to like green tea a lot though, considering that I drink it every night. 

At Andrew's I had pizza for the first time in about 2 months, and it made me feel really sick on my way home. I don't think there was anything wrong with the pizza, I just haven't had those pizzas that you cook from the freezer in a long time-- like since going to Shavonne's house over 6 months ago. I guess my body has somewhat adjusted to eating healthier.

So I finally made a lovely page for the party, and now I have 20 guests that are for sure coming-- including me, hehe. Link to my Party. Ashleigh marked "attending",which my Mom and sister were obviously peeved about. Needless to say, I'm not a fan of her coming after she's insulted me numerous times, blatantly, but I want to not exclude anyone-- even if I don't like them. But if she starts making insulting comments at me, I will tell her to leave.

Anyone who's reading this might be wondering WHY I don't just say she can't come.. Because that would cause a lot more drama because this party is for ALL people involved in the Japanese program, even if I don't know them. So it's almost more of a school event even if it's taking place at my house. Ashleigh's friend Erin might be attending as well. 

Tomorrow I'll be distributing paper invites to those that I did not have a chance to send invites too on the internet. Probably because they're not on my friends list. I don't know all the names of them, but I'm making a list...

These are the people that I need to make sure to get paper invites too:

1. Tyler Gonzalez, aka the guy with the hat that sits behind me: I don't think he goes on facebook much.

2. The long haired Hispanic guy that wears the beeny. Don't know his name.

3. The other Hispanic guy that I haven't gotten a chance to talk too, the one with the short hair.

4. Taylor, who never goes on his facebook.

5. Z san, the guy who sits next to me with the song hair, though I doubt he will want to go for some reason.

6. The Philipeno guy that sits next to Z.

7. Sara. I don't think she has a facebook.

8. Andrew

9. Whitney

Alright well better get started on this stupid assignment.

yours,

Emily