Annnnd all the more reason I hate my job and want to go back to eburg

Tonight sucked.

I have never experienced anything like it. My shift was from 4 pm-12 am, long shift and I worked especially hard today because I knew that "corporate" was coming in tomorrow so I wanted to make everything look really nice. I tried sooo hard today.. We were trying to make the store absolutely "perfect" which is why they're going to be up working on it all night.

I'm sorry, I'm not that much of a perfectionist.... When it came to 12 am and J. is telling me I need to finish this huge project before I'm allowed to go I started to feel kind of paranoid. I mean I'd barely eaten anything for dinner which was hours before. So I'm sitting here folding clothes, sizing clothes, folding clothes, sizing clothes..... I ask him again at 12:30 or so to come check it out. He finds something wrong, essentially doesn't say anything and walks off.

He did this to me three times because apparently my work wasn't adequate to these absurd standards... like everything was folded and sized but the stupid plastic tags had to line up evenly. I was getting light headed and very paranoid.

My coworkers were released before me for doing such a "fantastic" job on some wall. I'm just thinking to myself, excuse me after all I did organizing that girls section today you're going to hold me hostage here like I haven't done my work? When they were released I'd asked one of them, "What's the deal can we leave?" And this J. and this chick was like "Oh no you're staying."

12:55 am. Two of my managers come upstairs to inspect everything. They meet up with J. and start inspecting everything. One of them looked at one of the shelves that I did and was like "Oh who did this? There shouldn't be jeans there..." I thought for sure someone was gonna start pointing fingers at me and I almost broke down.

One of my older managers saw me and she's like "Are you okay?" And I'm sure my eyes were probably watery at this point, I said "No I'm exhausted and starving and want to go home..." I had worked for 4 and a half hours straight without a break or a snack and I had just had it. She's kindly said "Go home then..." Thank God, I'd felt rescued.

I know it probably sounds petty to most of you but for me that was just such a horrible experience tonight... You guys know how hard I work. This job has just made my summer a drag. I hate night shifts, I hate dealing with the tiny clothes, I hate being stuck dealing with a handful of annoying people when I have good friends working downstairs (*granted I have started to like most of my coworkers upstairs so that's been nice)....

I'm so excited to be back in Ellensburg honestly. And with Jay, who I did get a text from this morning so that made me feel pretty giddy most of the day. Poor thing, he slept all day long... I'm just really hoping he gets some time to hang out the next couple days. Working the past four days has been such a drag.

peace.

Last difficult steps.

Hi!

I am speaking to you from probably the pinnacle of difficulty in the quarter. The few days before my final tests that I'm like ugh, hang on to your grade for dear life. This quarter one of my finals has particular importance to me, and that's my finite quiz that is happening on Thursday. I'm planning on studying for it another solid hour tonight. I've already done one and made little progress on where I feel I should be, but every time I sit down and look at it I'm making improvements. Youtube videos help, too, if I'm not getting a concept. The last hour I basically spent just trying to figure out what the assigned section he's having us work on now is talking about. I missed class today because I felt I'd be better off just coming back and cramming than trying to sit through an hour of lecture where I have no idea where he's talking about.

Matthew is very sweet, he brought by the final midterm review which is basically an introduction to statistics and it is HARD you guys... I'm not gonna lie, I'm having a hell of a time with this and I know other kids in class must be too. The girl that I sit next to in class with the blonde hair got the same low score on the half-credit quiz last Friday so I know this isn't just really difficult for me. Actually I know it's not. The reason that I want to get a good grade on this last test is just to finish the quarter well, and bump my grade back up to an A-. Right now I have an 89.5% or something like that because of the last quiz, and my last grade will be this Friday's midterm so it's really that or B. I know that he does drop a couple of the lowest scores, but I'd assume his gradesheet that he passes around reflects that.

I've worked pretty hard in that class but I don't know if I deserve an A, ha ha ha. I really didn't get most of it. Statistics is going to be so hard. Spring quarter is going to be one of the hardest I've ever taken I think. Then I've heard that the management classes aren't that hard.

Still I'm excited because there's only two more days, really. I'm done with Finite and Econ on Thursday-- which means tomorrow is going to be another day of epic studying and the more I study tonight the easier I'll make it on myself tomorrow. I've also got my English research paper due on Friday, which I started the first two paragraphs of my final draft today.

Do you guys like my studying set up?

I dragged the ikea table in from the living room to be able to sit on the floor. My heels have been hurting because I've been sitting on the floor a lot lately. I've got my econ stuff on my bed so that I switch back and forth between putting strain on my lower back and thighs, ha ha ha. Blah, it's a lot of work. I'm doing good, though, it's only 7:45 and I've spent a total of four hours studying today, played on guitar pro for 20 minutes (It's sad to say that's all the practicing I can ask for on a day like this), did some crunches and a little exercise, cooked a good dinner... It's been a relatively good day.

Aside from the fact that I'm pretty sure I've f'ed everything up with Abe with my own wackiness. I don't really know. I haven't talked to him since I pretty much flipped out on him last night for having not hung out in three weeks. I really shouldn't have done that. I know he's just as busy with his classes that I am. But I guess my own needs more more important to me yesterday. I don't really know. I hope I get to spend time with him again but I don't know if it's happening. 

I'm honestly too tired to stress out too much about that now. Granted I miss him a bit, and I have for the few weeks that we haven't spent time together and I only see him for about 3 minutes between classes. I'll update you all on how that plays out later. 

And to be honest with you guys I don't know if I'm super excited to move back home in a little while. I'm excited to see Katelynn and take a guitar lesson from Jake but I might not spend my whole time there. I just realized that I didn't sign up for any scholarships and I know my mom is going to ask me about that. Maybe I'm ungrateful for not taking the time to do stuff like that. Or maybe I'm just very exhausted.

peace.