The idea of Purgatory, the afterlife, spirituality...

The party was so much fun, we had an excellent turnout, and I had really nothing to worry about. Graduation also went very well. It's 12:19 am, I've almost been playing my guitar nonstop since I got home at 3 pm, aside from some eating and a little exercise. I should really go to bed soon. I will talk about everything fun that happened yesterday tomorrow. . . Actually I have a LOT I want to talk about, I'd love to write out and highlight some of my old experiences the past couple years and reflect a bit. But not tonight. Instead I'm going to talk about something completely out of the ordinary.

I ended up getting hooked on this anime called Angel Beats. This is the first anime I've watched since Sailor Moon about a year ago. Anyway, it's about these highschool aged kids that are living in purgatory after living unfair lives and they're trying to maintain this existence fighting God. It's a really trippy and very sad idea for an anime series.

The idea of purgatory is very sad in general. If you don't know anything about it, it's an idea that isn't talked about much in the bible but is one of the many theories of what happens when someone dies. Basically, it's the idea that when you die, you go into an alternate reality that's not living nor dead. You're in this limbo; which in this anime is perceived as being a dreamlike impersonation of real life. The idea of purgatory can also be looked at as the idea that when you die your life "flashes before your eyes."

In this anime you have a cast of these real "humans," these kids that died and now they're in this purgatory world. The main character is a guy that doesn't know his name or how he died. These humans rebel against this Angel that hangs around trying to take them out of purgatory. I just think it's such an original idea. That, and the music in the anime is not bad at all. The animation itself is good too. Actually brought me to tears a little bit, twice.

This really made me think about purgatory though. Could it be real? Between Earth and Heaven is there a purgatory that we live in and live out all of what we dreamed of living on Earth? Or maybe purgatory would be just like a dream where you don't realize what is going on but get a better understanding of why things happened the way they did. Maybe you learn the truth of all the mysteries in your life. It's a theory I will hold onto as a valid possibility. I'm not a religious person but I like to be spiritual and ponder these things.

Because when you think about it, we all live our lives trying to fear the inevitable. We're all going to die. Every single person you see today will die someday. Everyone will experience horrible events in their lives at one point or another. You know you see these people that go completely apeshit on TV and blame it on the fact that they lost a loved one and spun out of control. Well, everyone in their life loses a loved one at one time or another. It's a sad thought but it's the truth and once I've faced that, I've found I live with much more peace and happiness in my life because I think about every day I'm alive.

I literally thank God for every day I live on this earth because I see how the rest of the world lives and I feel absolutely blessed. Everyone has problems. I have my fair share of problems but I really couldn't be happier with my life and where it's headed then right now. I've just gotta try to not somehow fall apart or burn out in the next couple years. Nope, don't see it happening.

Drugs are a huge fear of mine. And I mean hard drugs, like meth and heroin. I see how it takes ahold of people's lives and destroys them uncontrollably, and I worry that when people see marijuana they think it's the same thing. I'm not even kidding, there are some people that classify all drugs the same way because they're completely oblivious to the different types of drugs. That makes me sort of saddened that people might think less of me when they find out that I smoke, but there's nothing wrong with it I feel if you do it in the comfort of your own home.

But I'm not so worried about what people think of me as I am about somehow getting addicted to them. I know that's a stupid thing to worry about, like "Well then never do hard drugs." I don't plan on it, ever. I actually never intend to do anything "drugs" aside from pot. But people are manipulative. For people's safety I think it's important to know how not to be manipulated by others.

I'm going to bed, shoot. Completely unrelated to anything else on my mind lately.

peace.