I'm extremely pissed off.
I don't see what the point of learning the guitar is if I can only play it when i'm alone. Literally, the only time I can play is when I'm zoning out, alone in my room. I played Hypnotize by System of a Down about 20 times before my Mom got home. When she got home, I was pretty impressed with myself and asked her to hear me play it. But, as always, she listens to me play it and it sounds like a fucking dying cat. I couldn't play it at all!!! I have a problem where if someone is listening, I tense up horribly, and can't play for shit. It's the most frustrating garbage ever and I've never been able to overcome it. Tried to play the Coheed and Cambria song I've practiced probably over a hundred times to Katelynn? Bombed it. Sounded like shit. Couldn't hear some of the notes because my finger hit the bar and it made that horrible TWANG sound.
David Guzman said I should get a metronome. That might actually help a lot. My rhythm is so off and it seems like i'm just forcing the notes instead of playing it how it's supposed to be played.
This morning I went to Rite Aid and had to fill out some more paperwork and she wants me to fill out my schedule for the next three weeks. I am hoping that with this, work will actually start. I'm tired of all of these interviews and meet-ups and crazy tests. That's another thing, they want me to take ANOTHER test. I already took a survey, but now they want me to take a test. Ugh, it's getting obnoxious. At least I've got a job, that's a huge plus. i'm nervous for it to start, but at least I won't have some Korean bitch breathing down my neck.
Fuck I don't even want to talk today. I don't want to interact or do anything with anyone.
yours,
Emily
I don't see what the point of learning the guitar is if I can only play it when i'm alone. Literally, the only time I can play is when I'm zoning out, alone in my room. I played Hypnotize by System of a Down about 20 times before my Mom got home. When she got home, I was pretty impressed with myself and asked her to hear me play it. But, as always, she listens to me play it and it sounds like a fucking dying cat. I couldn't play it at all!!! I have a problem where if someone is listening, I tense up horribly, and can't play for shit. It's the most frustrating garbage ever and I've never been able to overcome it. Tried to play the Coheed and Cambria song I've practiced probably over a hundred times to Katelynn? Bombed it. Sounded like shit. Couldn't hear some of the notes because my finger hit the bar and it made that horrible TWANG sound.
David Guzman said I should get a metronome. That might actually help a lot. My rhythm is so off and it seems like i'm just forcing the notes instead of playing it how it's supposed to be played.
This morning I went to Rite Aid and had to fill out some more paperwork and she wants me to fill out my schedule for the next three weeks. I am hoping that with this, work will actually start. I'm tired of all of these interviews and meet-ups and crazy tests. That's another thing, they want me to take ANOTHER test. I already took a survey, but now they want me to take a test. Ugh, it's getting obnoxious. At least I've got a job, that's a huge plus. i'm nervous for it to start, but at least I won't have some Korean bitch breathing down my neck.
Fuck I don't even want to talk today. I don't want to interact or do anything with anyone.
yours,
Emily
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